Save Lives

Today's topic isn't exactly one of joy, cheer, and celebration. In fact, it's exactly the opposite, however it is one that needs to be addressed, and one that we all need to be giving an increased amount of awareness to. Today, I am addressing the issue of suicide, and how, as a collective group of humankind, we all need to be playing our part in reducing the ever increasing number of people who sadly, take their own lives. Those of us who suffer from depression, or another form of mental health issue, would be well aware of such thoughts that run through our head, about how we often feel it would be better to end our own life, rather than continue battling on in life, to face more non-stop rejection, failure, hurt, pain, hardship, hatred, unhappiness, and adversity. It's not to say those who don't have a mental health issue are exempt from suicidal thoughts, however those who do, are more prone to regular moments of giving it all in. Personally, I have suffered depression now for the past 11 years, and there have been an infinite number of occasions where I have thought about doing myself in. Certainly, when circumstances and events are falling apart all around me, these suicidal thoughts begin to escalate, and on several occasions, I have even began to put the wheels in motion, only to back out at the last minute. I have somehow managed to regain control of my mindset, and focus on all that I should be grateful and appreciative for in life, rather than allow myself to be torn apart by all the negativity. The past couple of months have been the most challenging period of my life, and yet here I am, still alive and typing away to encourage others to follow my lead, remain strong, and hang in there. It has got me thinking though, why do so many people suicide? What are the main factors behind why someone would rather end their life, than enjoy the blessing of being given life?

I can't answer for everyone else, but the original reason behind how I first fell into depression, was because of my job. I hated it so much, and it was making my life an absolute misery, yet I felt I was trapped, as I had to work after all in order to continue earning an income, so I could survive. I had job hopped before, and that was never the answer. Having developed depression though, all of a sudden, it always felt like everything and everyone was against me. I became angry and frustrated all the time, so I made some changes, deleted people from my life, and finally, seven years later, I quit my job and started my own business. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made, and sometimes, we just need to be brave and take risks, in order to find happiness. Even that decision hasn't done away with my depression though, and each time something goes wrong, I still am easily prone to become upset. The greater the circumstance, the worse I feel, naturally. Now, I wish I could just snap my fingers and make the depression go away, but those who suffer from this mental illness, like myself, would well know, it's just not that easy. I have been working on strengthening my mindset, controlling my emotions, and training hard on my thoughts, over the past few years, which has definitely all helped, and I find myself a lot more positive and motivated than I used to be. I have a focus in life, a passion to achieve my purpose and my goals, but there's something I recently began to notice of late, and have linked into why I become depressed, and undoubtedly it's the most common reason behind why people suicide also. That trigger is actually people themselves.

Having a look at the list of the main reasons behind why people suicide, it includes a relationship/marital breakdown, the loss of a loved one, financial strain, constant failure or feeling of failure, a medical condition or terminal illness, legal issues, childhood trauma, discrimination or racism, and not being accepted and supported for one's sexual orientation. If we take a moment to have another look over the list, only a couple can't really be linked back to other people, and that is the medical condition or terminal illness, and the loss of a loved one. Every other one of those reasons can be traced back to how poorly they are being, or have been, treated by others. Even the loss of a loved one could be questioned, as when we lose a loved one, it becomes a time we should always unite as family and friends, and together, we should be there for one another, supporting one another. We may be suffering and grieving personally, but let's not forget that other members of the family and friends may are suffering and grieving also, maybe even doing far worse than we are. Even in times of sorrow and grief, we can still be there to support others, and together, strengthen one another to get through such a difficult period. That person who contemplates suicide, following the loss of a loved one, may feel like they don't have that love, support, sympathy, and compassion, around them. We should always make the effort to check in with them, even daily for a period after, just to reassure them that we love them, we are there for them, and we truly care for them. That may be all it takes to prevent someone from ending their own life.

You may wonder how other people can be a fault for someone ending their life due to financial strain and hardship. The question must be asked, how much did that person receive help and support from others, if at all? Although some people will keep their financial issues private, most will reach a breaking point that they have no other option but to ask others for help, as embarrassing as they feel such an action may be. Desperate people will always do desperate things, if it's in aid of preserving their survival, so most people will seek help. Because money has become such an obsession to so many people, even though they could help out someone in need, if they pulled a few strings and adjusted their finances, most people wont. They fear not ever getting their money back, or perhaps they fear the risk of placing themselves in financial trouble, so they decline to help. As this person who is struggling financially continues to go from friend to friend, and family member to family member, desperately seeking help, yet constantly being rejected, it's no wonder so many people take their lives as a result. Sadly, it puts things into perspective, that most people value their money more than they do the lives of others, evident by their actions. It's not our responsibility to continually be paying other people's bills, constantly paying for their groceries, and so forth, because we are each accountable for ourselves, but even we face times of hardship and trouble, to the point that we need the help of others. There are times where everybody needs help and support, and it is our obligation to be there for others, just like we would appreciate others being there for us, in our times of need.

Relationships are always a tricky subject. There will be times where we sadly will break someone's heart, and there will be times where others will break our heart. Granted there will be partners who will be unfaithful, and partners who will be abusive, both of these being valid reasons to part ways indeed, however, many break ups result from a simple case of one person not being happy in that relationship. Absolutely, we all want to be happy in our relationship, but it's not the job of our partner to make us happy, that onus is on ourselves. We need to create our own happiness in life. Most people enter into a relationship with the expectation that their partner will make them happy and meet their needs, but that's not what a relationship is about. A relationship is about morally supporting one another, to help one another succeed, prosper, thrive, and achieve their goals. A relationship is about open and honest communication, compromising with one another. A relationship is about ongoing commitment, trust, faithfulness, sacrifice, and above all, love. Every relationship endures tough periods, it's a given, but why do so many people choose to run when they face the difficult times, and only want to stick around for the good times? If we are not happy with certain things about our partner, then we should be talking to them, rationally and calmly, openly expressing our feelings. Perhaps they may be feeling things about us also, because none of us are perfect after all. Communicate and compromise first, not just throw the good old "it's over" at them for an easy escape. Perhaps it may be you who is also to blame for not contributing to the relationship entirely either. Not everyone will be the right partner for us, and breaking up is never easy, but first communicate calmly and rationally, compromise of how you can both equally contribute to the relationship, and reaffirm your love for one another. If this fails, then you can go back to them after a while, refer back to that discussion, and agree to part ways. Just because breaking up may make you feel better, spare a thought for the person you are breaking up with also, because you may be their world, you may be at the center of their heart, so how you break up may just be the difference from them moving on, or them ending their life.

Then there are the other issues I listed above. There is childhood abuse, where parents, other family members, or associates, treat their, or other, children poorly and violently. This sort of treatment often results in a damaging affect mentally on that child, as they enter into adulthood, and beyond. There are legal matters, where one party takes another party to court, most of the time over a plot for financial gain, even above what they are entitled to, or what they are not even entitled to at all, but crafted a court case out of pure lies, just for personal gain. There is a personal feeling of failure, made worse by others who continually ridicule and criticize that person. We see countless examples of racism and discrimination around the world each day, all because people refuse to accept the various cultures, races, and sexual orientations, that are different to their own. They judge, categorize, and label people into certain groups. They racially abuse others, they discriminate against certain races, and they mock those who are perhaps gay, bisexual, or any other form of sexuality. The number of cases of young adults or adolescences, who are not heterosexual, yet are too afraid of coming out, because they know they will criticized by their parents, or mocked by their friends, is astounding. It's sad that many of these people believe it would be better to end their life, than to come out and be comfortable in being their true selves, all because of the fear of ridicule and rejection.

Let's face it, as a human race, we all need to do far better in how we treat our fellow man and woman alike. Far too many lives are being ended prematurely, all because we don't treat others with the respect they deserve, with the courtesy they deserve, with the kindness they deserve, with the compassion they deserve, with the care they deserve, or with the love they deserve. It only takes a simple act of kindness, generosity, and help, and it could change someone's world and mindset entirely. Just to know that one person genuinely cares for them, someone who supports them, someone who feeds them in a time of hunger, someone who provides them with money in a time of poverty, someone who has perhaps made a sacrifice to help them, it could literally be a life changer for them. We don't know what issues people are dealing with in life, what struggles they are facing, what pain they are enduring, or what suffering they are living through, so it becomes so important that we always treat everyone with kindness and courtesy. Just because someone doesn't agree with our views, beliefs, or opinions, doesn't mean we should fly off the handle and criticize them. Words can wound others, whilst actions can be fatal, that's a fact. Seek ways to help others, even if you believe you're not in the position to help. Even just some kind, uplifting, and inspiring words can be all that someone needs in that moment. Accept others, embrace the wonderful world of different cultures we have globally. Accept and respect those of any sexual orientation, no matter if you agree or disagree with their choices and lifestyle. Never judge anyone by their look or appearance, as you don't know their real story. Suicide can be greatly reduced if we all took the time to be selfless, rather than selfish. Think about your words and actions, and understand how that may actually impact them. Go out of your way to help someone each day. If you instead offered help, support, encouragement, and inspiration, to people, it can be just that one simple action that provides them with reason to live. We all have the extraordinary power in being able to save lives. Be that someone with kindness, love, generosity, and compassion in your heart!

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