Rest Well tWitch

This isn’t the story I wanted to write as my first story back to Vocal after a year of not writing on this platform. I wanted to write a happy go lucky, 10 best Christmas gifts for 2022 list, or the joys of the white elephant gift party story, and indeed, I may still write those, but after hearing about the passing of Mr. Stephen “tWitch” Boss to suicide, I decided that this is the story that needed to be written. I know I am not the first or the last to say it, but we really need to check in with our friends, who seem to have it all together. We never know what is going on behind closed doors or the closed doors of other’s minds. That is the lesson we learn when people who have been smiling, entertaining, and living their lives seemingly out loud decide to take the very permanent solution to a horrible yet temporary situation.

After you ask the questions you need to, please make sure that you are just a listening ear. Keep your unsolicited advice to yourself. People who are suffering from depression cannot just snap out of it. Getting out of bed is a chore for them sometimes. So you saying most of the things people tend to say when they think they are trying to help, sounds like they are a burden to you to them, which compounds their depression. (I know from personal experience). Do those little small things that can help alleviate some of their stress like buy them some groceries, take out their trash, mow their lawn for them. Those little things become big things when they have a list of things that need to be done and they are feeling overwhelmed. You have no idea how much those little things really matter in the large scheme of things, and if nothing else, it tells that person that they are not alone, and they have people out here who care for them.

Because I have manic depression, I have a million stories of scary suicidal thoughts. It is the thought that there is something more to be done that always keeps me from taking that next step away from this world. I had a plan a few times, but there was always something else there to keep me on this side of the living. I know that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary situation. I have been told that ever since I was a teenager and the message stuck, but in those moments that I can not see the temporary in my situation, it takes a real effort to find a better solution, so I get it. It is not always easy to find.

During 2020, I actually lost 10 people, and none of them to the pandemic. It forced me to think about death constantly. I still have not completely recovered. Do you understand how difficult this feels as a manic depressed person to be constantly thinking about death and the fact that it comes for us all? It is definitely not easy to get through the day. I understand. If this is you too, you are not alone.

Always remember that in life the tides always change. One minute you may be down, but in a little while, you will be up again. There is always light at the end of the tunnel, and if in those times, you can’t seem to find the light, please reach out. The number is as simple as 988 for suicide prevention help. Use it. Give yourself the chance that your mind doesn’t want to give you in those moments.

Please don't forget to share, comment, tip and keep me in your prayers. Adulting is a struggle, but we push through.