"Pard's"

I passed away in 2008 at the age of 50. I was laid to rest next to my father at the Lopez Island Church Cemetery. Just being next to my dad allows me to rest in peace. For the most part anyway. I say for the most part because several times my closest friends have made the trip to Lopez and stopped to visit me only to pass right by my resting place, time and time again. No matter how I try I can not get their attention.

Recently, when two of my closest friends walked over me looking for my place of rest, I could feel their frustration in not finding me. Now my closest friend of 35-years, at my passing, was my "Pard". Yep, that's what we called each other. We did everything together; when her daughter was born in 1976, I became Auntie Heather, we stayed close throughout my life.

You see, I could not have children, so to have unconditional love for this child came easy for me and my Pard allowed me to express it freely. This to her was a small act of kindness that gave me a precious gift and a relationship I may never had experienced had it not been for our unconditional friendship that made us Pards.

That being said, you can imagine my frustration, when recently I sensed the presence of people I loved as they searched for my resting place. I could hear my Pard saying "look here", "Here's Andy's headstone, right here". "She has to be close, like right next to her dad, wouldn't you think?"

I could hear them but they could not hear me no matter how I tried to communicate. I heard my Pard say "I can sense her, she's close, I know she must be next to her dad". She went on to say "look here's a small stone with a sunshine symbol painted on it, someone must have placed it here for her". Then my Pard began to cry as she sobbed in our friends chest, he held her listening to her broken words "Oh my God Timmy, she doesn't have a headstone, all these years and no one got her a head stone!" With compassion in his voice he tells her "don't cry, please don't cry, we will get her a headstone, I promise".

As she gained her composure my Pard then spoke over my resting place to me. She said "I promise you, we are going to get you a headstone, I promise you this Pard!". I never was a crier, she is the crier, always has been. But t I wept, now she could not hear me, but I did, I wept over the amount of love I still received from those who I had left behind. I wept at these years that we missed together. But I also wept because they could not hear me when I tried to tell them that I may have been laid to rest here; but I am not here in spirit. I came now because I felt them call out to me.

She should know for sakes alive.. that I am on a mission!

After all, there had been many times over the years she and I had discussed our final wishes and I had always told her that I wanted my headstone to say "On a Mission".

You see, that is what we would always say when we would decide to hop in her 9-passenger Chevy Station-wagon and hit the road on an adventure, never knowing where we would end up, we didn't care, we were on a mission!

Do I want a headstone, of course I do, not just for me but for those who love me too. My Pard was still sobbing, through her tears I could tell she was angry when she said "OMG Timmy her family owns 40 acres here, they have money, and no one got her a head stone?". "What the heck is that all about!" she sobbed. "Her dad would be so upset!"

After all we spent many years on the beautiful island of Lopez, many of our best memories are on this island, we were all very close and my dad loved my friends and considered my Pard's daughter Monique as his own family. Monique spent many summers with me up here. Sadly, she passed away a year ago and for my Pard it has been very painful. Monique's ashes were spread at the cove, a part of the 40 acres that Monique loved, it is one of the most beautiful places on the island, with it's sandy beach and lava rock jutting out at different angles.

Monique especially loved the trees that stand alone atop the edge of the cove, frozen in time, they hold the pose as if the wind is blowing in a mighty way causing the branches to flow to one side, and at sunset it is absolutely breathtaking. I am honored that this is were Monique was laid to rest. It's were she would have wanted to be. It goes to prove that love lasts a lifetime, many lifetimes for sure.

Timmy held her for a few minutes, with tears drying in the hot summer sun of Lopez Island my Pard tells me "we brought you your lilac tree Heather, the one you made me promise to plant for you up here should you leave before me, but I'm sorry Pard, I spoke to the grounds keeper and they said we could plant it here if we like but there would be no one to water and care for it and it would most likely die, so I will be taking it home to plant in my yard in memory of you and Monique, ok". "We love you Pard and we will be back with your headstone as soon as we get it and Heather you take care of our girl ok".

As I watch them walk up the hill to leave the cemetery Their conversation switches "remember how packed this church was when Heather got married, Monique was 10 then and a brides maid, in her pink fluffy dress with flowers in her hair, she was so proud, and people were all the way down past the gate!" "Yep" Timmy says, "and it was as hot as it is today", "Yep" she says. "Boy, lots of memories on this ole rock for sure". "Right" she says and he responds "right". "I love it here" she says "me too" Timmy responds. My Pard stops and looks back one more time "Now Pard" she says "Like I said.. you take care of our girl!" and honestly, I swear, she heard me when I said.. "You know I will Pard",

" We're on a mission!"