On depression: no one thinks I'm sick, they just think I think too much

01 If you're depressed, it's useless to think about it

Have you ever told someone to "lighten up"?

Does it seem to us that if we look at things in a lighter light, life will be better?

For most ordinary people, this is true, but for depression, these three words are most useless.

These days, if you look through your circle of friends, you will always see these words.

Today I'm emo.

I'm self-absorbed.

We may laugh at these things, thinking that it's just a popular online culture of mourning, that people are playing around with the idea, so what's the big deal?

In fact, we may be wrong.

These people are probably depressed.

In "My Miss Depression", Chen Guo, a national level 2 counselling psychologist, said, "We all have depressed people around us who look like normal people. Some are even more "normal" than others: they are talkative and humorous, lively and jumpy, with a big smile on their face. But these are just weapons they use to ward off their inner depression."

Did you think depression was far away?

Wrong, it's becoming more and more common, in men and women, young and old, children and adults alike.

02 Depression is more dangerous than you think

There was a news report on CCTV.

A 12-year-old child had daily stomach pains and his eating was affected. The child was depressed and did not like to talk to people.

After being taken to hospital for a check-up, it was found that there was nothing wrong with the stomach or intestines, the problem was the child's depression.

The poor boy was diagnosed with mild depression.

The stomach pain he felt was just a "pain in his heart".

In other words, when a person is under too much psychological stress, non-organic physical pain, such as headache, neck pain, chest tightness, etc., can occur.

If the psychological pain is not relieved, the body will become ill.

If depression is not taken seriously enough, it can destroy our whole life.

The 2020 Chinese Epidemiological Study Survey found that the lifetime prevalence of depression in China is 6.8%, with 24.6% of adolescents detected with depression and 7.4% with major depression.

Depression is no longer something we joke about lightly, it is a disease that cannot be solved by simply "thinking about it".

It is not something that can be relieved by simply going for a trip or a run, it requires professional treatment.

Depression has clear symptoms.

Unhappiness, sighing, boredom with social interaction, chronic depression, lack of interest in anything, indecision, insomnia, loss of appetite and even thoughts of lightness.

When these phenomena occur for more than two weeks, it is important to be aware that the person is probably depressed.

03 What should we do when faced with depression?

The People's Daily has reported that there are two things we need to do when dealing with depression.

The first thing is to encourage the patient to seek medical treatment, and to seek professional treatment for better results.

The second thing is to encourage the patient to take an active part in sports and social activities.

These two things may seem simple, but they are not easy to do.

Chinese people have a history of avoiding medical treatment, and depression is something they find difficult to talk about, something they cannot see.

Once people know that they are depressed, there is no telling how many blank stares and spittle they will receive.

Chen Guo wrote such a story in his novel My Miss Melancholy.

Chen Susu, a high-profile, talented woman from a wealthy family, is unable to work properly because of severe depression.

After professional treatment, she improved, and her doctor advised her to continue working and have more contact with different people, which would be good for her recovery.

So, Chen Susu went to a sales office and worked as a salesperson.

She was afraid to tell her colleagues and leaders that she was depressed and only hid the truth.

On her first day at work, she was interrogated by her colleagues about her background, and not only that, Chen Susu also experienced an incident where the sales office was besieged by the owner.

As she watched the company's leader, Mr Zhou, being disliked by the owner, she grabbed the leader's microphone and confronted the besieged owner head-on, thus relieving the leader.

The first day at work went well, but after that inexplicable impulse passed, Chen Su Su regretted it and did not want to come to work the next day.

For people with depression, dealing with people and the complexities of human relationships is a difficult task.

Chen Susu felt that although there were only five people in the sales office, they had very different personalities and their relationships were still too complex.

But due to the pressure from her parents and the treating doctor, Chen Su Su just had to keep going to work.

04 Love is the best medicine

By coincidence, Zhou was impressed by Chen Susu and took a keen interest in the young girl.

When he learnt that they were both graduates from UMass and that Chen Susu was a postgraduate student at UMass, Mr Zhou's curiosity about Chen Susu intensified.

As they became further involved, Mr Zhou learned from his own mother that Chen Susu suffered from depression.

However, he did not feel that depression was some kind of unspeakable illness, he was just curious and a little distressed as to why this young girl, who came from a wealthy family and was an overseas high achiever, was suffering from depression.

He was inspired to find out more and to help Chen Susu get rid of her depression.

Xiao Zhou always starts to pursue Chen Susu, but is rejected.

For people with depression, they can't get interested in anything they do.

The same is true for talking about love.

Instead of backing down, Chen Su Su's rejection made him more and more aggressive in his pursuit.

Because he wants to go inside Chen Susu's heart to see what the root of her depression really is, he wants to take Chen Susu out of the shadows and stand in the sunlight again.

The reason why Chen Guo uses the novel My Miss Melancholy to explain depression and how we should actually get along with depressed people is that, in real life, there are many depressed people like Chen Susu, but there are very few good people like Mr. Xiao Zhou who can cure depression with heart and love.

Therefore, in the novel, Chen Guo gives everyone a warm ending.

Little Zhou found the source of Chen Susu's repressed emotions in her heart, and what Susu dared not say or do, he did for her.

And Chen Susu finally realises that the happiness she wants is something she has to fight for herself.

This is true for getting rid of depression, and even more so for pursuing a better life.

How lucky she is to have met Xiao Zhou, a lover who is willing to hold her hand and accompany her to the end of her journey to happiness.

05 Conclusion

As a psychological counsellor, Chen Guo was also depressed.

At the time, Chen Guo had just given birth and was inexplicably depressed. The problems of caring for a newborn and balancing work and family made her feel miserable and depressed as a new mother.

She had a lot of negative emotions but didn't know how to talk about them.

She was even more worried that if she spoke up, the person would just go through the motions and say to you, "Anyone has emotional problems, think of the good in everything."

So, you can only keep all kinds of negative emotions inside yourself, and after a long time, they become a thorn in your heart that sticks out.

Luckily, Chen Guo was lucky.

She has studied psychology and is familiar with depression. She knows how to heal herself, change her perceptions and help herself get out of emotional distress. She uses Morita therapy to analyse her problematic points and then accepts the imperfections of her current situation, releasing her emotions and thus getting out of the depression.

Chen Guo's My Miss Melancholy is a romance as well as a novel about depression.

With a light-hearted storyline, she takes the reader on a journey into depression and its understanding.

It is an illness as normal as a cold, not a beast. We do not have to talk about it, nor do we have to feel that people with depression are different and stay away from them.

They are just like ordinary people, they have to live and work, and they long for family, love and friendship.

There is only one thing we can do for the depressed people around us: love them, support them, and help them to recover from their depression.

There is a quote from The Noonday Demon: Depression is a Secret You and I Share: "I have learned to imagine good feelings when I am at my worst, and this costly exchange of skills, like the noonday sun, penetrates the demonic darkness."

If you are depressed, trust that you are brave and wise enough to get rid of it.