Mr. Toad goes to see a shrink: Life heals only those who are willing to heal themselves

Robert Dybold, a British psychologist, once compared life to a river. It seems to flow quietly and smoothly, but in fact it is full of dangers and hidden currents.

Behind the surface of the calm life, everyone's life, will encounter several turbulent undercurrents.

How can we smoothly cross the undercurrent of life, to the other shore?

Robert pieced together a "Mr. Toad" from numerous clinical cases and narrated his journey from depression to recovery.

When you finish reading Mr. Toad goes to see a Shrink, you'll understand:

In the long river of life, no one will be your ferryman.

The only person who can ferry you across the river is you.

In this world, there is never a lack of wounded people

Mr. Toad seems optimistic, but along the way, his heart has been scarred.

He grew up in a "joyless" family, with a rigid father and a weak mother.

From their parents, Toads had never felt love or warmth, only indifference and blame.

From being sent to private school at the age of seven, to majoring in Latin at university, to inheriting the family business when he graduated, every step of toad's life was decided by others.

Like an "outsider" in his life, he can only bury the pain deep in his heart.

When he grew up, the injury of his original family made Toad develop an inferiority complex and sensitive character, which continued to torment him.

He racked his brains to manage toad Hall, which his father had left behind, but people always talked about the glory of their fathers, and paid no attention to what he had done;

He tries to please them for recognition, only to be criticized;

In order to seem fitting in, he even pretended to be an enthusiastic hippie and made others happy.

However, even at the expense of their own, did not win the goodwill of others.

These details cut deep and shallow wounds in Toad's heart like a carving knife.

Deep in the mire of life, Toad tried to drown his sorrows, but the result was that he fell deeper into the mire.

After getting drunk, he steals a car and escapes disguised as a washerwoman.

He robbed horses, stole money, moved from country to country, and was eventually arrested.

Life has never been kind to Toad, and Toad's inner defense line has completely collapsed after his release from prison.

He suffers from depression, his home has been taken over by weasels and his favourite job as a village school trustee is about to be replaced by a friend.

Mr. Toad, once a well-dressed man, is now a stinking toad crouching under a table, unable to breathe.

Perhaps there was something of Mr Toad in everyone once upon a time.

You go out of your way to please someone who is not only ungrateful, but uses your kindness to get more.

You work as hard as you can, but fate throws obstacles in your way and makes all your hard work go to waste.

Even when you are most in need, the people closest to you are always scolding you, leaving you burdened with gratitude and suffering.

Have read a very heart-piercing words:

"In this world, no one is not hurt. Like it or not, there's no going back."

In the adult world, everyone is walking alone.

When you are sad, you can allow yourself to stop, but can not let yourself down.

No matter how hard it gets.

We all have to carry wounds and losses, in the struggle of wandering, clenching teeth forward, seeking inner healing.

Instead of waiting for a cure, learn to heal

Once Toad was completely decadent, he wanted to kill himself.

But his friend Rat stopped him in time, and recommended him to a psychiatrist.

In this way, he came to "Heron Small Building" for the first time and met consultant Heron.

"Who sent you?" asked the heron.

'It's rat,' toad said without thinking.

But the heron shook her head and told him, "You can only bring yourself."

At first Toad was irritated by this silly question, but after he had calmed down, he understood:

He must take responsibility for his own life and cannot expect others to save him.

During subsequent weekly visits, the heron simply threw out questions and left toad to figure out why.

And the heron's problem has always been these three:

"What do you think of that?"

"How do you feel?"

"What would you do?"

Under the guidance of the heron, Toad began to face up to the scars in his heart and began to explore his own character.

During the months of treatment, he still remembered the heron's words: "It's up to you whether you want to reconcile with life or not.

With the heron's encouragement, Toad finally took his first bold step.

He forced himself to get up early and walk down the garden path to the boathouse, where he repaired the long-abandoned racing boat and had a good row.

He patiently to observe a roadside grass, feel the wonderful colors of nature.

Slowly, Toad came to terms with his painful past and began to consciously pay attention to his emotions.

He tried to correct injustice and reject unkind people, and when he took off the social burden, he began to feel refreshed.

The Shawshank Redemption says:

"Everyone is his own god, if you give up yourself, who will save you?"

The world will not give you a convenient door because of your cry, nor will it treat you differently because of your compassion and kindness.

Life is full of suffering, want to overcome the suffering, heal the wound, can only rely on their own.

As the heron says:

"No matter how good the psychological consultation, it is out of the patient's voluntary. The healing process is all about finding out for yourself."

Each of us is, in fact, our own doctor.

Instead of waiting for a cure, learn to heal yourself.