Miles from home, yet one step closer

I recently got out of Harbor Oaks. A psychiatric hospital. It wasn't the best place in the world to be, and I do admit I regret how I got there but some of it wasn't half bad. Except for the food. Most of it sucked, lol.

I had a lot of fun talking with people with who I could relate and connect. It was a riot at times. And my roommates were usually pretty chill. I even made friends! And don't tell anyone because it was against the rule but...I got their contact information! Lol, bet you thought I was going to say I made out with someone after dark or something like that.

When I first got there I was so nervous that no one would give me the time of day, yet right when I walked through those doors, I was surrounded like a herd flocking around their young. I just thought that they would say hi and leave, yet they stayed and chatted with me. It was nice. We joked around and did anime voice impressions(mainly based on MHA).

My first meal wasn't half bad, and being outside(even if it was only an enclosed courtyard) was fun! My roomie was cool, she even related to a lot that I could tell her. We had a lot of fun.

My roommate and I would chat about a bunch of dark things before bed. We would talk about past experiences, how we got to Harbor Oaks, how stupid the rules were. Yeah yeah, I know, the last one isn't THAT dark but it was for me! I mean, who can draw and not have to use an eraser at one point in time!

There were many instances when my emotions got the better of me. I was overprotective of my friends, I got mad at the staff, and at one point they had to BOOTY JUICE me!

My friend, let's call them Samantha(I won't reveal their name due to privacy reasons), was very triggered by rap music. It reminds them of someone and those memories are painful for them. Yet, a quarter of the unit wanted to listen to it. I went over to talk to them about it and they started to complain that we always got to listen to what we wanted and they never complained, but once they wanted to listen to their music it was us complaining. Though we never bothered with choosing the music unless we were in the secluded, practically soundproof, room. It got to the point I couldn't hold back my anger and I walked away only to punch the wall so much it dented in. The workers did nothing. They let me punch the wall.

About ten minutes later I was a little calmed, yet still on edge. I was back with my friends, sitting in a booth at the end of the hall, away from everyone. People were talking about us. This one girl who was in the argument from earlier, let's call her Malissa, started walking over to us with her friend in tow. She started talking to us and I got so pissed just seeing her. "Walk away." I said coldly, yet she had the audacity to say, "I wasn't talking to you." Which pissed me off more. My anger got the best of me and I blurted what I was thinking. "Go away. Seeing your face makes me want to punch shit."

Her friend got in front of her, and mind you, this other girl was twice my size. She got up in my face and said, "wanna say that again?" Before grabbing me by the hair and pulling me off the bench and punching me non-stop. this went on for two whole minutes. two whole fucking minutes. All I could do was try to push her off but it got to the point I just gave up and curled into a ball taking the hits. Once the workers finally decided it was time to end the fight(or more like a jump), they pulled her off of me.

I was terrified and my friend Samantha tried to help me up and I saw her hand come close to my face, and I punched her in the nose thinking she was the girl who had basically jumped me. I was crying, hyperventilating, and shaking furiously. I yelled at the workers to stay back and not to get any closer and they listened. They ordered a shot, which was known by the patients as BOOTY JUICE. It basically calms you and puts you to sleep. they gave me the shot then had me go to my room. I passed out as soon as my head hit the rock-hard pillow.

The next day I was transferred to another unit, saying goodbye to my friends was hard but I made it. I was switched to an all-girls(plus one 7-year-old boy) unit. It was better over there, I got along immediately with a couple of the girls. They were nice, and cool too! My new roommate and I just constantly talked about the food we missed before bed.

Overall, it was a fun, yet scary and worrisome, two weeks spent miles away from home, yet each and every day help me one step closer to being the kind of person I want to become.