Mental Health and Men

Mental Health and Men

I have to be honest. This has been an incredibly tough piece to even start.

What has been even tougher, is the research.

It’s infuriating. Saddening. Heart-wrenching even. The last updated page of statistics is September 2019, and even then, the stats are from the year before. What are those stats? I’ll tell you:

In the United Kingdom in 2018 there were 6,507 deaths by suicide.

Men accounted for THREE QUARTERS of U.K. deaths by suicide in that year.

In England, 1 in 8 men have a common mental health problem.

Suicide is also the largest cause of death for men under the age of 50.

I can’t begin to imagine what the statistics are for 2019.

But what breaks my heart more than anything is that there is hardly any support. There’s nowhere to go, nowhere to turn. As a man who has had his fair share of mental health problems in the past, it’s scary. Yes we can go to our GP, we can call Samaritans, we can talk to our family and friends.

That’s the key word. Talk.

So many men don’t talk about their problems. Don’t talk about the issues going on inside their heads.

And my main question is: Why?

Maybe it’s the issue of toxic masculinity. Maybe it’s the stigma around men showing their emotions. Maybe it’s years and years and years of neglect of the mental health subject.

It’s all three and more.

I’m writing this to try and raise awareness. To try and encourage any man who reads this to speak up. To reach out to anyone who might know of a man who is going through something. I’ve been meaning to write this since August. I haven’t had it in me. It’s been a subject that I haven’t wanted to talk about.

Funny how things work isn’t it?

The statistics are there. In black and white. The subject is all over the news. All over social media. And still, things aren’t changing. But there’s a silver lining. There’s hope. There always is.

In November it’s Men’s mental health awareness month. I know that’s a long way away but I’m going to try and encourage every single man I know to open up, every day of the month. I’ll be wearing the green ribbon (the international symbol for mental health), I hope anyone who reads this will wear one too, to show any man in their life that they matter, that they can talk.

Remember.

It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel like something is wrong. It’s okay to be depressed, anxious, suicidal. But I also want you to remember that there is always going to be help. There will always be someone who will listen. Who will help. Who will offer advice.

You are not alone in this. I can promise you that.

If it helps; I’ll talk about my past.

I’ve self-harmed, cried myself to sleep, bottled up every single emotion possible, broken things to avoid talking, broken myself to avoid opening up. I was one step away from committing suicide. If the stranger hadn’t stepped in, I wouldn’t be here now. I wouldn’t be writing now. It’s these moments that we have to realise that even though we might think we’re alone, we’re not. Nobody is truly alone, please believe me when I say that. I believe in you all.

Below are a list of websites, numbers and companies that could potentially help and save a life:

Mind: www.mind.org.uk

Time to Change: www.time-to-change.org.uk

Mental Health Foundation: www.mentalhealth.org

CALM: 0800 585858

Mind: 0300 123 3393

Samaritans: 116 123