Living In Recovery

LIVING IN RECOVERY

By

Marie Herdan

Living in recovery is much more than not drinking or using drugs. It is a conscious decision to live life without depending on alcohol or drugs to fill the hole in one’s soul.

Alcoholism and drug addiction is a three fold disease. It affects someone mentally, physically and spiritually. Those who live with this daily struggle realize that it is a phenomenon of craving and mental obsession that causes millions of people to succumb to the tragic life of addiction. It is a valid disease but there will always be some people who consider this complicated malady to be a moral issue.

Many choose to participate in a 12 step program which enables a willing person to follow guidelines that were established many decades ago but whose teachings are timeless. This program consists of not only steps, traditions and principles but also fellowship and opportunities to help other addicts and alcoholics.

Living in recovery is simple but not easy. Although many associate it with drinking, it actually affects one’s thinking and that is a terrifying thought for those afflicted with addiction. Living in recovery can be especially challenging if life throws proverbial curveballs from every direction. Major life events can challenge anyone but those who suffer with alcoholism or addiction have to exercise even more vigorous vigilance than normally required. That attention to recovery is as important as any medicine. Some of the most frightening statements ever uttered are: “ I’ve been doing this a long time so I got this” or “I am going through a lot right now so have one drink won’t hurt”.

This disease may be invisible but it is ever present and progressive so anyone vulnerable need to remember that there is never a good time to pick up a drink or a drug; not the death of a loved one, sickness, financial hardship, resentments. There is not ever a good reason…..ever.

If someone personally is an alcoholic/addict or they know someone who is struggling, please remember that the disease hides in tragedy and success. It is cunning, baffling and powerful and always ready so if anyone values their recovery, that person needs to stay many steps ahead………….one day at a time.

There are many people who are currently in recovery that thought drinking or using was the solution for many years. It is much more normal for an alcoholic or addict to drink or use than to abstain. There are those who are "normal" and don't suffer from addiction and they are baffled by the affliction. There are comments that infer that a person just needs to exercise willpower and resist temptation. Others think that it is due to a character weakness. Those are opinions and everyone is entitled to their opinion. However, there are millions of people who die from this disease and it also affects the lives of their loved ones.

Society is already so divisive. Unfortunately one of the only thing that does unite all of us is the fact that addiction does not discriminate by gender, color, social class or in any other way. If someone can drink in moderation and they are legally of age then it is fortunate that they can enjoy a social drink. Many do not have that privilege and often have to reach a deep bottom before that realization is evident.

Since addiction is so prevalent, most people have some sort of connection to someone who is an alcoholic or addict. There are many different scenarios. Some are easy to navigate and others are not. For example, someone may just have a friend that tends to get obnoxious when they drink so many have decided not to hang out with that person when they drink. A more complicated example would be if a man has a wife and children and he often comes home drunk and then is aggressive toward his family. They may leave but many don't........atleast not right away.....and it's not as easy as just not hanging out with a friend. If it is your family member then there are many reasons that make it harder to leave. One may not have anywhere else to go; especially if it is a child under the age of 18 or the person with the drinking problem might be the one who earns the money so the others are financially dependent on that person. Not to mention the emotional ties that are very difficult to sever. This family/friend situation can be further complicated by enabling the person. If a family member tends to be in a better mood when they drink then a family member might be in the habit of placating them with alcohol in order to avoid confrontation. A friend who wants a night out on the town might want their friend to join them even though it is a known fact that the person can't handle their alcohol but they don't want to be alone so they say, "It's not a problem if you only have one." If an alcoholic is in denial, that statement is the justification they were hoping to hear.

Addiction and alcoholism are complicated on many levels. You can't make someone get sober or clean. It will happen when they are ready. Even if a legal situation expedites the temporary recovery, nothing will last unless they have full willingness.

No one expects friends and families to have all of the answers but if you have a relationship with someone who is an alcoholic or addict and they are not in recovery, you may want to seek some help for yourself so that you can take care of yourself and learn how to handle the situation in a healthy and productive way for everyone concerned.