Life

To me : Life is a Voyage!

Today, I see through it and feel the feels of all the probabilities that bring in change ! I am talking about the changes imminent in life.

Call me a pilgrim or a hermit! That’s the due course my life is taking as I’m journeying through it all in all. And to keep the floors fully carpeted doesn’t hold good with me as I am at the verge of qualifying as a nomad—certainly—not vagabond!

Also, there’s nothing like hop, skip, jump or let everything go into the wild either. No, it’s not like troublesome is my middle name. Well, there’s no sudden narcissism skipping about me in the form of “sure footedness,” here. This is a self reflection for sure. It’s just that ,basically, the aspect of the “saging -spirit,” booms—naturally in me than you might ever think. It’s like, as though, I have been waiting since, longer than “ever,” to quip about this matter as a vaguest reference to my hidden persona. And honestly, after framing my life this way,in all its authenticity, it hasn’t been easy. Nevertheless, the process in itself has been evocative. A sort of an invocation.

So, coming forth in “every -which-way” is this —unknown grace—running through all my endeavors and escapades.

Since birth, uniquely though, many factors, kept going the right way first,but then later, somehow, a hurricane force took its effect in shaping me anyways.

These days, such long awaited fortitude of alignment is once again taking its favor upon me. It’s like hearing the winds chime, and thereby, I instantaneously cling to every beam of sun ( esp. the apricity and warmth in the winter sun ) as a familiar part of that occasion to awaken me. This is happening automatically and is quite momentously stunning!

Another requisite thing simultaneously coming my way in defining “me as me,” —is this exquisite tailoring experiment that’s monopolizing and sporting odds against me to be otherwise.

As an analogy if I could describe this phenomena, (whatever you may construe of it,) it does have the discretion to find me daring to make costumes( crafting) offhand. But, unfortunately I am very well away from being suitable to be any dress designer.

In maneuvering such a predisposition, my predicament is to fit the fabric( of life,) to the general commotion of all the set expectancies.Yet, out of what is ordained,I have an intuitive inclination that eventually, I shall end up stitching half cut, sheared dresses like “Jattis or Lungotes,”(English translation : loincloth,) while most others rally after making large garments. Preceding was the vernacular lingo, binding me to my roots in all sincerity and sagacity. That’s me!

So given such a fabric of life scaling me down to where I (naturally,) belong, I never astronomically fancied to see myself as something extraordinary —more so in worldly gains. Theretofore, I have chosen simple pleasures ( for myself,) than amply entering the furore of undue refinement of the worked up forces especially in the cross-cultural quarters.

Thus started my journey into meditation 🧘🏽, in either its entirety or even in a minuscule manner, often wearing it as a breastplate ( more like armory,) to shield 🛡️ me against unexpected course. A necessity much beyond what others might need in order to feel totally alive ! To that, I must say this : remember, I have moved places and that calls for a different level of tenacity to correctly cope with the invisible strikings coming out of the unknown.

And ever since, no occasion rises without me lighting an incense, an aspect to which, I could be taken as a stunning saint or an apocalyptic sage.

So —there ends the matter.

Summary: I was made of some other stuff —which I myself have been looking 👀 🫣at and researching for quite some time to understand myself fully. It’s a discovery pulling me to fall on limbs( not on all fours,) and climb along the walls to stand up to all odds.

And as per Hindu philosophical thought 💭 ( I was birthed in that ambiance,) the term coined for this state of existence is : “Vanaprasthashram.” I am leaning towards it very astutely. Don’t know why?! I have always been —a notion and belief breaker and yet, the call for looking beyond the overtures has been alluring ever since.

It’s a calling … certainly, where everything begins and ends in it. No question of not fitting in nor not belonging there. It’s befitting. However as I look at spirituality or try to define that aspect of my integral living—life has been a sort of observatory for me —with everyday—I looking at “spirit,”more and more intently, ever gathering those “river woods,” and looking through those easterly envisioned “chambered windows, “ to say: “ Where the h*ck are you almighty?!” A notion ringing me and electrically asking me to plunge into it for the sake of finding it.

Admittedly, the glasses over my housed -tinted -windows ( not a legacy,) seem rightly tinted for me—much so, to see through them— just rightly and that is to say —not to look everything as all black nor all white.

So that’s —so far so good , innit ?!

Dear Reader,

Apparently, there are more ways of saying the same thing over and over again …

So here, I go describing my life —The Life, for me, tumbles over the good —in all its seriousness.

Life, allegedly, has been a medley of cool breezes and terrific thunderstorms, and afterwards, a quarter section left to ground over earthy tones for rain to lodge its heavy gains.

Thus generally speaking the rain, wind, thunder and lightening all have played a role in shaping this plain field of my life. For some time, came ice, blowing the furrows and the water troughs that held my gardened granary —in a sort of —cut off germinative state. But seeded so, I moved about every inches to a meter and each mile —primarily in search of ‘proper food and fodder, besides getting ferreted while clearing all grounds to make the germination possible. An absurd reality or a try ,I know! But that in itself has been an awakening!

Consciously saying : There was a warmth that I had not known until the wheat, rice, bread and butter all coalesced to provide me with that basic sustenance—the grit and girth to follow through a natural course of destiny —meditative awakening.

That’s it …. That’s me at my core —meta sized or metamorphasized.

Whatever it is, all of us are born for that great noble reason to not cause accidents and not ruin anybody’s business. A determinism perhaps not to be overlooked!

Yet, inadvertently, as I look around —whole nations, just straight up , are covered in heavy shockwaves due to the trade deficits, cutting humanity by the acres, on all fours to threes. A bitter Justice for those of us anyways who are about to enjoin or set afoot towards the monasteries. Yes, it’s again confusing and jittery. I am ,once again, about to immediately dispatch self to some observatory.

And all tangled under thin and thickets of cursory glances, I could put some sweet in my tea ☕️ and call it honey 🍯 for that pure delight. But I won’t do that!

So such so….

Life passes me in a breeze.

It bears upon me light feathers to glide me thro' smooth sails, yet sometimes, it floats above me like a looming flood, frantically winding me down to urgent halts —as though, pleading : STOP 🛑 look, listen, observe, learn and of course pause for a while!

Therein, calming down, I take one step to the next; a cautious tread to pause and pray, and then, suddenly with gladdened hearts—pleased, I swing and sway.

But, in all its bounds and bounties, life's goodly sometimes gently drifts away as though— far gone! Yet, by no manner of means, such a situation, doesn’t lingers on indefinitely….

Everything changes.

And, life goes on !

Again, for some : it's like the palm found wanting with nothing fitting in between. And the sifting fingers unable to hold on to those sands of time, just let them slip away. And with moments vanishing into nothingness, all along the ways, belonging and fitting into nothing, is truly happening.

And to that methinks: this too shall pass. More like a spec in the dust all shall cast away.

Then, over and beyond as my imagination sparks ⚡️ in :

Then and there, a void shall creep in the future wherein, the reckless life, shall pause a bit and thereby, hurriedly stroll into a frenzied move—towards its next passage —eternity! Life shall birth and rebirth itself in more than many ways.

Ah! Ha ! Who knows what “actually” will happen along its ways —A Metamorphosis, come what may,eh!

Or is this —just a make belief to manifest something — of that grace in which faith, life, death and peace —whatever —comes along its way —casted or crafted —both seemingly—sanguine or salacious, as and when, something coming in to slowly duck 🦆 its way. 😅

Even in paradoxes, life can be so bountiful, so unsparing, yet so rejoicingly exciting as well.

O look —there !

There goes another LIFE with its flow on.

Theretofore, once again, life shall unfold it's own mysterious ways as one day rolls into another.

Ah! steadfast a pace!

A flow—out and about—unto the river of existence, merging with the oceanic seas, forming one pieced synergy all the way.

Life: One moment here and yet so rejoicingly looking over there.

This, to some may seem like another LIFE vaguely rarified on other grounds; illusive and duly contrived.This too comes to me as I define me as me. The fact that I exist and persist —that in itself is LIFE —to me.

Where to start and what to say more about life. It can get crazy busy on all fronts as though seeming like a big surprise to many.

Life : It’s a course so rarified in its own illusive saga of tales that from it—experience c’d be drawn— for life itself ! Life in that sense becomes a circular narrative where the beginning and the end meet.

And now, for heaven’s sake, please don’t call it life ends in death! Like they say : we exist even after the meaning in life seems long gone .. It’s there a new avatar — rebirths itself!

© ✍️ Madhu Goteti April 13th , 2025