Learning and Unlearning: Healing My Inner Child

✨ “Adulthood isn’t just about growth—it’s about unlearning the pain we carried as children. This is my journey of meeting my inner child, breaking old rules, and finally learning to love the person I was always meant to be.”

For a long time, I believed adulthood was about constant learning—new skills, new responsibilities, new ways of managing life. But I’ve come to realize that it’s just as much about unlearning.

Unlearning the self-doubt we inherited.

Unlearning the voices that told us we weren’t enough.

Unlearning the belief that vulnerability equals weakness.

Healing my inner child has shown me that adulthood is not a straight line forward—it’s a circle, returning to the child I once was and listening to them with compassion.

The Lessons We Carry

As children, we absorb everything. Every word, every silence, every unspoken rule. Some of us learned empowering lessons: that love is unconditional, that mistakes are opportunities, that we are worthy. But many of us learned painful ones: that affection must be earned, that mistakes define us, that emotions make us weak.

Those lessons don’t simply vanish as we grow up. They hide inside us and shape the way we see ourselves. They whisper when we take risks: “Don’t bother—you’ll fail.” They echo when we try to be vulnerable: “No one really cares.”

Healing begins when we notice those voices for what they are—not truths, but echoes of the past. And echoes can fade.

The Unlearning Process

Unlearning is uncomfortable. It feels strange to question the “rules” we’ve lived by for so long. But slowly, I began asking myself:

Who told me I had to be perfect to be loved?

Who convinced me that showing emotion was weakness?

Who decided I wasn’t worthy of joy unless I earned it?

The more I questioned, the more I realized that many of my beliefs weren’t mine at all. They were inherited—from parents, teachers, culture. They were lessons meant to protect me, but they no longer serve me. Healing means letting them go and choosing new beliefs to live by.

Meeting My Inner Child

One of the most powerful practices I’ve discovered is reconnecting with my inner child.

I imagine sitting with the younger version of me—the one who was hopeful, curious, sometimes scared. I picture their face, their body language, their questions. Then I say the words they needed back then:

“You are enough.”

“It’s okay to cry.”

“You deserve love without conditions.”

At first, it feels strange, almost like talking to a ghost. But over time, it feels natural, even necessary. Because the truth is, that child is still here. They didn’t vanish when I grew up. They’ve been waiting for me—patiently, quietly—for someone to finally listen.

Why Healing Matters

Healing my inner child doesn’t erase the past. It doesn’t magically rewrite the difficult moments. But it does change the way I hold those memories.

Instead of ignoring the pain, I acknowledge it. Instead of dismissing the child who lived through it, I embrace them. And in doing so, I give myself permission to live differently today.

Healing creates a bridge between who I was and who I am becoming. When I listen to my inner child, I find more compassion for myself. I no longer push myself to exhaustion just to prove my worth. I begin allowing joy without guilt. I stop chasing perfection and start embracing authenticity.

Because healing isn’t about becoming someone new—it’s about remembering who I was before the world told me otherwise.

Conclusion

Adulthood is not only about learning; it’s also about unlearning—the lies, the hurts, the rules that weighed us down. It’s about walking back to the child within us, taking their hand, and saying: “You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”

That is what healing feels like. Not fixing. Not erasing. Just remembering—and choosing, finally, to love the child who never stopped waiting.