Kindness

My daughter grew up thinking I was a strong positive role model to look up to. She saw a woman who cooked, cleaned, took care of the family, and at times worked.

She would go to work with me sometimes and she loved every minute of it. I believe this is part of what developed her work ethic.

She saw me stand up and speak for others, teach our young ones about our culture and heritage, and see me have to address and handle stressful situations.

She saw me stand up to protect and defend my children, and what it was like to be the one to keep our family together. I was the glue.

I think she got her kind, and nurturing side from me, when it was time to have her own kids as a single parent I knew she struggled with the tough love and discipline role.

She was just so full of love and putting others before herself. Every Sunday morning and Wednesday night we took her to church. She was a child of God and as such she treated others like she would want to be treated.

She would try to include everyone so no one felt left out, and she tried to remain nice no matter how mean others were to her.

She showed me her toughness as she played in sports growing up and a couple of times got bruised up or took a ball to the face.

She got picked on at school and seemed to find the so-called friends who only wanted to take advantage of her nice side.

But she continued on. She continued to remain nice, and treat others with kindness.

She ended up becoming a single mom at a young age. But no matter how much she struggled or had to sacrifice for her children she tried to stay strong.

Most of all she tried to remain kind even though she received next to no support from others. She was familiar with the cold and darkness that a life lived like this brought to an individual.

At that point in her mind she wanted to make a difference. She wanted to help others so they did not have to go through what she had to.

Years went by and she continued to struggle from one job to the next. Living check to check as she continued to raise her kids, work, and try to further her education. With hopes one day she would finally not have to continue to struggle every day.

The depression set in, the hopelessness, and helplessness of not being able to change anything. Her life would always be this way. But still she gave all she could.

I remember one day realizing she had told me she was on her last 20 bucks, but it was around Christmas and she still felt she needed to help others. There she was dropping the majority of her last few pennies into the red bucket next to the door.

I thought how can she donate her last little bit of money when she herself needed it. But that is the gift she keeps giving. Even if she only impacts one person and makes their life a little bit better she does it.

I remember how she raised her children to always think of others, and part of that was sharing what you had with others. Her sons grew up knowing everything in the house was divided by 3 so everyone got a little.

This principle was eventually ingrained within their own moral principles, and it showed when the time came years later. Her son decided to help her out with some bills.

She had been out of work fighting for disability for the last 3 years. She had dealt with chronic pain for the last 2 decades, as well as, struggle with her very own mental health battles.

Not only could she barely move and had to rely on others to help her with her everyday activities but she was with no job and no income.

Things were looking bleak... all that kindness she had shown to others over the years never seemed to come back around. This just made her more depressed.

She withdrew from others, family, and those who called themselves friends. She couldn't do any of the things she once loved like dance, play sports, or even walk with ease.

She stayed home most days, feeling like crying, and giving up thinking to herself... What do you do when you can't do it anymore?

She felt sick to her stomach, she was stressed, tired, and depressed. I forced her to leave the house and go to the bank with me so I could get some money out for the weekend.

As we were leaving, a gentleman who had been working and needed to bring some boxes into the bank approached us.

He had long hair pulled back, a bit of a beard, and lots of tattoos. He almost looked like someone you would see in a TV series or movie playing the bad guy.

Typical stereotype, and as he rolled through the door pushing his load of stacked boxes he asked, "How's your day going?"

And that one act of kindness set off the smallest spark within. All of her acts of kindness throughout her life. All the lessons she tried to teach her children had finally come full circle.

And all of it was possible on September 12, 2024 National R U OK Day!