Is Your Child Shy and Retracted

Shyness is a common emotion felt by everyone more or less consciously in new situations and social environments but little understood.

Shyness can influence social development and restrict children's learning when they inhibit too many reactions.

Often the shy child is emotionally constrained and prone to become anxious or very withdrawn. This child prefers to watch from a corner what is happening around him, without getting involved in sports or games and avoiding interacting with new people.

However, most children fall within the normal limits of shyness, the effects being felt only occasionally while isolated cases of extreme shyness can seriously affect the child's life and further development as an adult because it self-limits their experiences.

Depending on how your child reacts and the degree of shyness, it can have both negative and positive effects. The negative effects of shyness on children include the reduced possibility of being socially active or approaching new people, the reduced number of fun and relaxing activities, and also of sports classes and group activities such as dancing, theater, or music.

Shy children may also experience a feeling of loneliness, low self-esteem, anxiety, fear of being judged, which prevents them from reaching their full potential and from developing embarrassing physical signs such as redness, stuttering, and trembling.

However, shyness in the case of children also has positive aspects, as they usually get good results at school, pay more attention to those around them, be kind and obedient, and avoid trouble and injury.

It is important to know that parents can help their children overcome their mild shyness and momentary anxieties by encouraging them, highlighting their qualities, and nurturing their self-confidence. While for cases of severe shyness observed in children, the help and guidance of a specialist are recommended.

If you understand what shyness means, you can start taking the necessary measures within the family so that it becomes a help and an advantage for your child and not a handicap.

Find out in the following lines how you can help your child overcome this stage and what to do.

Don't label your child as shy

As a parent, you influence your child more than you think, and he tends to internalize the label or nickname you use to the point where he will use it as an excuse to avoid uncomfortable situations or even outline his entire existence around this nickname.

It also does not allow anyone around you to label or judge your child.

He shows no disapproval or embarrassment

Even the slightest remark or criticism expressed by you will make the shy child believe that he has a character defect, causing him to withdraw more and express himself less. I advise you to stop comparing his behavior with that of other children.

Help him break the ice

If you notice your child longing for a group of children without daring to talk to them, give him a little encouragement and some suggestions or introductory phrases. You can also accompany your child and help them integrate into the group, taking a few steps back as soon as they start to feel comfortable.

Let him select his friends

Don't force your child to socialize with all groups of children in the school or park, but encourage him to interact with the people he likes, admires, or with children a year or two younger than him.

Interacting with a single person can give him a sense of security, making him feel more comfortable and free to start a new game or conversation.

Encourage your child to talk about shyness

In general, at an early age, the child perceives his parent as perfect, representing a true behavioral model for him. That's why I advise you to share with your child moments when you were shy or ashamed and how you got over them, then encourage him to tell you why he is shy and why. be afraid.

Parent-child confessions strengthen the relationship between you, give the little one the feeling of security and friendship and nurture his self-confidence because he will know that he can rely on you and can always ask you for advice.

Practice social situations with him through play

Prepare different scenarios in which to place yourself as the main character who wants to approach a new group and ask your child how you can do this.

By acting in this way, you will stimulate his imagination and make him stay with the answers offered in his mind until he uses them to get closer to his new playmates.

He wasn't late for parties

Try to take your child to all the parties where he was invited a few minutes before the start time so he will have time to adjust to the place and then it will be easier for him to integrate into the group.

If you arrive after the party, the rest of the children may not even signal the arrival of another guest, and it will be difficult for them to enter an already formed group.

In any case, do not forget that shyness is treated with small steps and patience, and in severe cases, professional help is recommended to avoid situations where inhibition and lack of expression can limit the child's experiences and development.

However, most children are shy only in new situations or in the presence of strangers, a problem that can be remedied even within the family.