Internal Turmoil

I've always heard that our thoughts shape our reality. Yet, I often found myself grappling with feelings of fear, anger, and anxiety, despite knowing they were just products of my mind. I realized that to truly transform my life, I needed to understand the nature of my thoughts and how to master them. Here's a glimpse into my journey of overcoming inner turmoil and finding peace.

At first, I used to identify certain thoughts as negative. Fear would stop me from taking risks, and anger would cloud my judgment. I believed these emotions had power over me, and I tried various methods to suppress them. However, the more I fought these thoughts, the stronger they seemed to become. I felt like I was on a never-ending treadmill, running but getting nowhere.

The turning point came when I understood a fundamental truth: thoughts are just thoughts. They have no inherent power unless we give it to them. By seeing them as mere mental constructs, I started to detach from them. This detachment created a space between me and my mind, allowing me to observe my thoughts without being swept away by them.

One significant realization was that my mind is capable of producing both joy and misery. It wasn't about eliminating negative thoughts but about taking charge of my mind's production line. Just like a computer, if I pressed the wrong keys, I'd get undesirable outcomes. But if I learned to press the right keys, I could produce joy, peace, and tranquility.

This journey wasn't about avoiding anger or fear, but about understanding their nature. Anger, for instance, isn't an entity sitting somewhere waiting to attack me. It's a state I enter when I lose control over my mind. When I became angry, it was unpleasant for both me and those around me. Modern science even shows that anger poisons our system, affecting our health negatively.

Realizing this, I stopped trying to fight my anger. Instead, I focused on why my mind wasn't taking instructions from me. When I wanted to be peaceful, why did anger arise? The answer lay in my lack of mastery over my faculties. My mind was running on autopilot, reacting to external situations instead of following my conscious commands.

To change this, I started paying more attention to my mind. I practiced meditation and mindfulness, which helped me create a distance between my thoughts and my true self. This practice wasn't about suppressing thoughts but about watching them without judgment. When fear arose, I didn't try to overcome it; I simply acknowledged it and let it pass.

Fear, I realized, was often a product of excessive imagination. My mind would create countless scenarios of what could go wrong, most of which never happened. By staying present and focusing on the here and now, I reduced the grip of fear on my life. I stopped producing horror movies in my mind and started creating comedies, love stories, and thrillers instead. This shift in mental production made a significant difference in my overall well-being.

I also understood that my mind is a sophisticated tool, and like any tool, it needs to be used correctly. Trying to forcefully remove negative thoughts was futile. Instead, I learned to direct my mind towards thoughts that served me better. It wasn't about thinking positive all the time but about consciously choosing my thoughts and not letting my mind run amok.

The key was to focus on the fundamental sense of aliveness within me. By tuning into my breath, heartbeat, or just the sensation of being alive, I created a natural distance between me and my thoughts. This practice brought an end to much of my suffering. Physical and mental pains lost their grip on me as I stopped identifying with them.

In conclusion, my journey to mastering my thoughts taught me that suffering arises from a lack of control over our minds. By creating space between myself and my thoughts, I found peace. It's not about avoiding negative emotions but understanding their nature and choosing to focus on the life force within. This shift in perspective has been transformative, turning my mind from a misery manufacturing machine into a source of joy and tranquility.