Illuminating Narcissism

Until six years ago, the term narcissist wasn’t even in my vocabulary. I had known people who used, who manipulated and showed little remorse for what they did to others but I wasn’t aware that there was an actual diagnosis for what abuse these people caused to others.

I, growing up an empath, would get caught in the crossfire of these manipulators but my strong intuition quickly got me out of the path of these people. I am also an Aquarius so cutting people out of my life is a pretty easy thing to do. I’ve never let anyone stay close to me that’s there just to cause pain to others.

I’ve watched people from afar cause great discomfort to those around them and those are not the people that I ever wanted to associate myself with.

Six years ago I met a person that I knew, undoubtedly, was someone that I had a soul bond with. He, being in the public eye, I would see his face and knew that there, lied a connection.

For years I felt the pain he’d kept hidden from the world but seeing the pain in his eyes I knew that the feelings, I felt was real. My empathy runs deep and feeling others emotions and energy is my superpower.

Finally, we met, a brief encounter. The energy between us, that magnetic force between soulmates was definitely at a higher magnitude than anything I’d ever felt before.

Like a moth to a flame. We connected. The energy bond that was formed could actually be felt.

My empathy for him was strong. I knew the pain he’d dealt with in his life was unbearable. It saddened me knowing that he’d went through so much and as a soulmate to him, I wasn’t there.

As our conversations went on, a few weeks into them, I knew something just wasn’t right but how could this be? This was written, before we were born. A soul contract between two people should be a beautiful thing, right? Two people that were supposed to meet and come together for a higher purpose.

We continued to talk and my intuition kicked into high gear. Being in the public eye kept him from being real. Well that’s what I thought at first but then as the days got longer and the conversation drug on I knew that there was something more just hidden away for me to discover.

He started becoming very aggressive as we talked. He, putting me down and calling me every poor adjective in the dictionary. He then began to tell me that everyone close to me were the perfect ones while I was just a pile of trash that he’d found along the curb on the streets he drove in his car, while making his billions.

His money was never attractive to me but I suppose being one that was in the position to make a lot of money, it was to others. His face was what attracted me to him, the strong magnetic pull, never his status.

Months went by and he switched from hot to cold in the blink of an eye. Proclaiming love one moment and how worthless I was the next. I knew that something wasn’t right!

He began talking a lot about my sister. How perfect she was and how I was just the dirt beneath his shoes. Like I said before I’m a professional when it comes to cutting people off so emotionally I had but I wanted to see how much more he’d pull and the lies just came pouring in.

We lived a few states away from each other so he believed he could do whatever he wanted without me finding out the truth. Telling me one thing while doing the complete opposite. My intuition being as strong as it is, I knew every time but just let him continue to play his shady games.

I am not only an empath, at this point I’m an awakened soul so as he thought he was pulling one over on me, I seen right through the lies and manipulation. I guess at times, having that soul bond I wanted to help pull him out of the darkness he was in but even as I walked him through the light, he always went back to being blinded. Wearing the mask of deception and I thanked my lucky stars that I could actually see.

He was catching on to my knowing however was still trying to instigate conversation through the illegal means he knew how. Putting me down will never constitute a loving response from me. I already knew that no matter the soul contract that we had, I’d never allow someone to use and abuse me. He had even told me on a few occasions that is what he did to everyone, like he was boasting about the fact of the matter. This was self sabotage and as I later come to find out this is a trait of narcissism. They’d cut their nose off to spite their face.

At this point I knew he was absolutely superficial. No substance. No heart. No soul. Just pure evil. I felt it in my gut. Going from wanting to converse with him so deeply to feeling anxious, hoping he’d lose my number.

Imagine meeting an empath, a healer, a light in the darkness and treating her like that. To me it was mind boggling. I found him to help him and heal his wounds but all he could do was repeatedly tell me how worthless I was.

I stopped talking to him. He hacked my phones, my families phones. He began to watch my family and still does! He’d intervene on my conversations by hacking my nieces phone just to remind me that I was the dirt beneath his shoes and then carry on with his day, watching my sister, watching my friends and so on.

My intuition was at its peak so I never needed anyone else to tell me anything that was happening behind the curtain but he’d remind me that he’s watching me as well, once again boasting but in reality another self sabotage tactic that narcissist don’t even realize that they are doing!

Narcissist think they are the great oz behind the scenes but to an awakened empath, nothing is hidden. I seen through every lie he ever told but he really thought he was getting away with something. They are like little kids trying to get away with something with their parents. Immature. Never fully developed.

The trauma they go through stunts their growth and maturity but in no way would I ever excuse this behavior. I too had things growing up that I had to go through but I’d never try and cause pain onto others for the pain I’d experienced but this is what they do.

They are the cyber bully. They are the abusers. The users. The egotistical beings roaming the earth with no reason for their inflated egos. He is in the public eye but it’s not for any phenomenal reason. He let his need of chasing woman over shadow any hopes of doing phenomenal things with his career. He’s great at what he does however if you’re not doing anything with it, your talents go to waste. God given talent, taken for granted, to sit behind a computer screen and be a bully. To seek out attention. To be a hacker. To commit crimes all for the need for attention.

I showed him the light but he’s only followed the darkness.

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