How to Stop Overthinking

Let me paint you a picture.

It’s 2:47 a.m. I’m lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering if the barista thought I was rude this morning when I said “thank you” in what might’ve been a sarcastic tone. Did she know I was being sincere? Does she think I hate her now? Should I go back tomorrow and clarify? Maybe bring cookies?

Welcome to my TED Talk on Overthinking 101: The Spiral of Doom.

Now, if you're like me and your brain likes to party at 3 a.m. with every embarrassing thing you've ever said since 2002, pull up a chair. I wrote this not because I’ve mastered inner peace (lol no), but because I survived enough mental spirals to earn a gold medal in catastrophic thinking—and I’m here to pass on my wisdom like a slightly unhinged fairy godmother.

Step 1: Identify That You're Overthinking (Hint: You Are)

You might be overthinking if:

You re-read your email six times before hitting send… then re-read it again after.

You regret what you said in a conversation that ended 4 days ago.

You create 17 possible scenarios in your head before ordering lunch.

The first step is admitting it. The second step is realizing you probably don’t need to prepare for a made-up argument with your boss about your hypothetical future resignation. (Yes, I’ve done this. No, I’m not okay.)

Step 2: Thought-Stopping, aka “Shut Up, Brain” Method

Here’s what worked better than Googling “how to turn off your brain” at midnight:

I imagined a big red STOP sign whenever the spiral started. Dramatic? Yes. Effective? Shockingly.

I wore a rubber band on my wrist and snapped it every time I started mentally writing apology letters for things no one remembered. It was either that or tattoo “calm down” on my forehead.

I used the “5-4-3-2-1” grounding method until I could at least pretend I wasn’t unraveling.

Step 3: Make Friends with the Present Moment (Even If You’d Rather Time Travel to Fix the Past)

Mindfulness sounded too much like yoga for my taste, but desperate times called for desperate breathing exercises.

I tried journaling. At first, my entries looked like:

-Dear Diary, I think I offended Karen in the meeting because I said "interesting" with a weird facial expression.

But over time, I started asking myself:

“Can I do something about this?”

“Will this matter in a week?”

“Am I catastrophizing again or is this genuinely a crisis?”

(Plot twist: It’s usually just my brain being dramatic.)

Step 4: Decision Fatigue is Real, and I Was Losing

Once, I spent 25 minutes deciding between two salad dressings. I wish that was a joke.

So I created The Decision Jar.

Yes, a literal jar. I wrote small everyday choices on scraps of paper and pulled one when I couldn’t decide. It was weirdly liberating. Also, my dinner was finally on time.

And then came The Anti-Overthinking Checklist, which includes questions like:

“Are you hungry, tired, or just emotionally constipated?”

“Have you left the house today?”

“Is this a problem… or just a Tuesday?”

Step 5: Make It Funny, or You’ll Cry Into Your Cereal

Honestly, the only way I survived this whole thing was by laughing at myself. Because when you zoom out, the absurdity of our brains creating full-blown horror movie plots out of minor inconveniences is kind of hilarious.

Overthinking is like having a brain that’s always on a group project… but no one knows what they’re doing and everyone’s yelling.

Final Advice from the Spiral Queen Herself

If I could tell you one thing, it’s this:

You don’t have to believe every thought your brain throws at you.

Some of them are just weird little gremlins yelling nonsense. You’re allowed to say, “Thanks for your input,” and keep living your life.

So whether you’re obsessing over a text, reliving that awkward moment from 2008, or mentally preparing for a conversation you’ll never actually have—just remember: you’re not broken. You’re just human.

A hilariously, chaotically wonderful one.