How Do You Know It’s Time To Change Your Psychotherapist For Better Outcomes?

I am not criticizing talk therapy or therapists.I know some great therapists and have enormous respect for them. My sole intention is to spread awareness from my life experience so as to help a few people who are already into therapy or considering going for it in the near future. My therapist was a woman, so I have used ‘her’, everywhere.

A psychotherapist is not going to say, “You can stop your therapy, you are perfectly fine now”.

Therapists are just humans living in a brutally capitalistic world. There are so many of them and the competition is cutthroat.

So, it’s in your power and decision to call it a day when you see little or no progress happening. Therapists are going to beat around the bush for as long as they can.

And it works to their advantage too. Mental issues are complex in nature with a lot going on inside the brain. It’s often difficult to precisely point out the exact cause or consequence.

They aren’t headaches where you pop an Ibuprofen and you’re good to flourish again in an hour.

I have a background in biology. I used to be a researcher when my anxiety got the best of me and I quit doing science for good.

When I wanted to take talk therapy for my anxiety-depression issues, I did all the groundwork. I looked up the internet, talked to a few of my friends, got a referral, and read her profile many times before deciding to choose her.

She was a nice, warm, and soft-spoken lady. The initial few sessions were a breeze. I liked her approach and methods. Well, I thought so.

The first few sessions are always about you spitting out all your life’s miseries and mysteries. You tell her everything: the good, the bad, the ugly, and the dirty.

She has to know you from the inside out. I crossed that stage with her with no major issues.

I paid $50 for a 50-minute session. Now, before your jaw drops, let me tell you something. I live in Poland. There, I said it. No, I am not American. I am an Indian living in Poland and writing on an American blogging platform. So, yeah, $50 was what I paid.

Patients usually opt for therapy after suffering from mental issues for a long time. They are confused, hurt, and scared. They usually have a lot to discuss. Right from problems that started when they were kids.

Therapists should know how and what to prioritize from everything the patient tells them. The first few sessions can be ignored. But after that, the therapist must use her learned experience to tactfully segregate the music from the noise.

Otherwise, there won’t be any significant positive change in the patient.

Time flies when you are with the therapist. Every minute costs money. Four sessions a month are $200. There’s usually no deadline to stop therapy. It keeps going on and on.

I began to lose trust in her when I started to feel she couldn’t understand what was causing all my problems. She knew my childhood, my teenage years, my time after that until now. She knew all my positive and negative traits. She knew my family history, my dad’s issues, my mom’s issues, and my immediate family members’ issues. And also my medical and relationship histories.

Yet, she found it difficult to choose and discuss the top 3 issues that were bothering me. When I told her my concerns, she said it’s always like that. It takes time. At the time she said this, half a year had already passed.

She also started asking me what I would like to discuss that day, week after week. Why would I want to discuss something new when I’d already told her so many different issues about myself?

Although there were a few takeaways from my time with her, I felt a bit let down and generally dissatisfied.

One fine day, I told her that I needed some time to digest everything I’d learned from the sessions and that I needed a break. I said I would contact her when I was ready. I stopped going to her.

It’s not easy to say goodbye to a therapist midway through the therapy. But if you feel you are not going anywhere after a few weeks, I think it’s time to call it a day.

It’s your time and money. Please remember that. Therapists are in high demand these days. They will end up finding another new client on the same day you quit. Don’t worry about it.

A good therapist should be able to make you feel wonderful after every session. A good therapist also has a session structure, just like a good teacher has an excellent lesson plan and lesson structure about how he or she is going to split the time so as to give an effective lesson to students.

Final Thoughts

Change your therapist:

1. If you don’t vibe with her.
2. If you see no progress after 2 months.
3. If she is unable to figure out and work on a few of your major issues.
4. If she keeps asking you what you want to talk about and doesn’t seem to have a plan for the session.
5. If she doesn’t stop you when you go off-topic or if she keeps deviating from your case and chatting about random stuff.
6. If you just feel you’ve had enough with her. Trust your gut instincts. They are your guardian angels.

Good luck with everything.