Frankenstein Journal

Father, Father why did you create me just long enough for you to abandon

Me. I thought I was enough, but not for you to deconstruct me again, but in an emotional painful way. Father, why wasn't I enough? Why did you torment me into believing I was a monster and not human? You convinced me that I was a mistake. And not intelligent enough for you. And I hated you every fiber and vein in my body that you sewn together with your hands because I know you all too well. Father, you're so good at piecing things together that you couldn't even piece together the bond between us. You didn't want to nurture that side, that bond of what could have been. I despise you. Why couldn't you be patient with me, teach me everything you know, but instead reject me as soon as I couldn't meet your standards? I found life away from you. But the lingering of your trauma still bears my heart. Because it's hard to escape you. I had vivid dreams, some good but mostly bad. And I can't shake you; maybe, deep down, I can't, because that would mean I would admit I still haven't forgiven you. It's been many years, Father. I moved physically to many different places around the world, hiding in the shadows and slowly taking in the wonders. That I've been reading about in the books I've acquired, and my mind soars in these places, which are just as beautiful as they are in the books. And it breaks my heart that I can't show my face in public. The humans are just as afraid of the legend of me as I am of you, Father. I wish I could change their perspective of me. If I show myself and they don't accept me, my heart could get broken again, Father. Why was I born like this, Father? I had a mother, and her name was Elizabeth, and I loved her dearly. I could have and would have given her the world. But she was taken by the same rage that locks my heart in an abyss. But the anger in my heart grew like the trees in the forests, for her, passing only grew with more Intensity. I wanted to hurt you in ways that only you could be hurt. But I watched as you slowly passed away, father, and how you wanted my forgiveness and how I forgave you. But I truly never forget because my heart and mind still linger on those emotions, and how, in order to let go of those emotions, I had to fully let go of you father. You gave me life, but you also took my life in a way. I had to rediscover the passions of life by venturing into the unknown. I had to fully embrace what was out there, so I become the true version of myself. I long to tell you what's in my heart, but I was too afraid and angry. But I tell you, as the time and years pass, I truly forgive you. Now I just have to forgive myself for the anger and failing to protect my friend and mother, but truly, I let go of the hatred I had for you father. Because neither of us aren't monster anymore because we are what we are, and we have found peace