Forgiveness is the process of, first, acknowledging that you were wronged by someone, whether it was a small, or a more grievous offense, secondly, surrendering the wrong that was committed by the offender, and then thirdly, working toward processing any residual triggers caused from the offense. Depending on the individual and situation, sometimes forgiveness can occur instantaneously or sometimes it can be a lifelong process. Jesus emulates forgiveness perfectly for humanity based on people’s need for forgiveness from their sin committed against a perfect and holy Creator. Forgiveness leads to holistic freedom: spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and also, physically, regardless of a person’s level of proclivity toward Christianity or not.
A core belief that I hold to be true about human forgiveness is that we cannot fully understand the gravity and importance of forgiving other people who have hurt us, until we understand the grace, mercy, and power of God and His extension of forgiveness to us individually. One of the foundational standards of the ACA 2014 is veracity, which could be synonymous for the word truth (American Counseling Association, 2014). The first part of truth is acknowledging the wrong that occurred. Facing the truth, sometimes tucked away, deep in the past, is crucial. All clients, who are willing to do the work in therapy, need to be willing to face the truth. John 8:43 says, “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (New King James Bible, 1982). This verse exemplifies that, first, we shall know the truth and then, secondly, that the truth will set us free, if we let it.
I see forgiveness as being in alignment with the atonement theory of the kaleidoscopic approach which is the most “fluid, active, and contextual” (Neff-McMinn, 2020). Because forgiveness is so intricate, in the layers within each client, I can see how it is a unique journey for each person. For example, a woman who has been sexually abused will experience a different forgiveness process psychologically than a man who has been divorced and faced martial rejection. Both clients would need to understand a basic level of atonement and the psychological wellness that ensures after forgiveness is experienced. Atonement matters in the counseling profession because it involves the process of reconciliation of past traumas and movement forward in life to freedom and hope for the client’s future.
When clients experience true forgiveness, they experience a form of freedom that is like the removal of a ton of bricks from their shoulders. Who doesn’t want to be free emotionally and feel more uninhibited? Personally, I know that I want to experience that form of freedom. I think it is always important to be reminded that forgiveness doesn’t always imply that reconciliation will occur. In many cases reconciliation will never occur, but the process of forgiveness can be the first step in the process for reconciliation within relationships.
In conclusion, forgiveness is appropriate to explore in the client and counselor relationship or just in general. The Holy Spirit is the ultimate guide with the forgiveness journey that every person has the power to take the first step. Is it an easy journey? No, pursuing forgiveness and the understanding of it is a continuous journey with plenty of hills and valleys along the way, but it is worth it!
References
American Counseling Association. (2014). 2014 ACA code of ethics. https://www.counseling.org/knowledge-center/ethicsLinks to an external site.
Neff, Megan Anna, and Mark R. McMinn. Embodying Integration : A Fresh Look at Christianity in the Therapy Room, InterVarsity Press, 2020. ProQuest Ebook Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/liberty/detail.action?docID=6126861. Created from liberty on 2025-07-17 21:11:22.
New King James Bible. (2004). Thomas Nelson (Original work published 1982).
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Rowan Finley
Father. Academic Advisor. Musician. Writer. My real name is Jesse Balogh.
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Comments (4)
Amen to that!
Wonderful job here explaining how we can approach forgiveness. Thank you for sharing this insight 👏
Oh wow, this was so good! 👏 You really broke forgiveness down beautifully. And low-key, it’s one of those things God loves because it shows inner strength
Well said. Forgiving someone doesn't mean they got a free pass, it means that you've decided to excise that person's power over your peace. It's hard, but true forgiveness is like a rebirth of sorts.