Capgras

The cabin in the woods had been abandoned for years, but one night, a candle burned in the window. The Light was a testament to the unknown in Letha Campbell’s life, just as she’d never known where that cabin on her property came from, although it was never a concern for her, her property was worth a fortune. Letha awoke on a Tuesday morning feeling different. Different in a way that she couldn’t put her finger on but knew there was an underlying sense of dread. A sense of despair that wallows beneath the diaphragm and feels like it’s been there her whole life, but she just didn’t notice it until waking up one morning, no pattern or reason as to when or why it was that particular Tuesday. Or maybe it was just forgotten and she’s finally noticing it again, like a trauma that caused her to forget some dreadful thing that happened, so she dissociated but the wheel of time allowed it back into her mind. She couldn’t help but think she’d been reading too much Camus.

She got out of bed to go make breakfast for her family, as she did every morning before her husband went to his job as a manager at a steel mill and her kids went off to school. She used the grinder to make a Turkish blend of her husband’s favorite coffee and turned on the pot. Next, she made some pancakes, albeit sloppily, because of that demon wallowing in her belly. Finally, when her family came down, she looked at Jayson, her husband, and couldn’t help but feel like she didn’t recognize him for a moment. Letha almost felt nauseous, wondering what this feeling was, feeling a bit scared even. All of this dissipated when she saw her boys, recognizing them immediately. How could a mother forget her children anyway?

“Thanks, hon,” Jayson said as he kissed her on the cheek. He never ate breakfast before work, coffee was enough.

“Yeah,” Letha retorted, still feeling odd about his presence, although it was disappearing now.

Letha’s sons didn’t say anything, they were well-mannered and studious for their age. Jaime and Matthew got their plates, thanked their mom, washed them in the sink then went off to school before kissing their mother on her rosy cheek. This was a routine for them every day. This was the Campbell family’s daily monotony.

For years they lived in a quasi-joyful state, confused but unwavering in their love for each other. The Hindus say we are not the mind, so that very mind is what keeps us in bondage or stuck in our ego. Theology was a favorite subject for David. He didn’t necessarily believe one thing or another, but he was intrigued by the way we develop beliefs and the lengths we take to impose those beliefs on one another, except Advaita Vedanta, Buddhism, and the spirituality of Eastern religion. Matthew was even more reserved, came home and did his homework, cleaned, and did his chores without having to be asked, always with a melancholy gaze.

Night swept over the streets, trees, and buildings in their little town and Letha decided to go on a walk. She loved smelling the grass at night in Tennessee, the lightning bugs, the sounds of the wildlife permeating a veil of trees, reverberating in the moonlight. Letha was walking when she noticed out of the corner of her eye a firefly in the cabin just south of the well a quarter-mile from the house. But it was just sitting there not moving.

“What the…” she whispered.

As she got closer, she realized it was a candle. Exactly like you’d see in those old movies, sitting on a metal plate, big globs of white wax hardened running down the sides. Stupidly generic for a horror story she thought. Although, who lit this candle? She’s been home alone for hours now. Maybe the boys were playing around earlier after school. A thousand speculations run amok in her mind. Then, for a moment she thought of her husband, it had to be him, trying to scare her. Her husband would never do that so why the practical jokes suddenly? It was unlike him. She blew out the candle and went back inside, constantly turning her head over her shoulder on the way back.

“Did you light a candle in the cabin last night?”, Letha potentially spuriously asked Jayson in the morning, using a slightly accusing tone.

“No? Maybe it was one of the boys playing around”, said Jayson.

“I asked them and they said no, you’re the only other one around here and I know it wasn’t me.”

“Letha, I…” Jayson chuckled and poured out the rest of his coffee, “I don’t have time for this I’m sorry. Gotta work.”

When he leaned in to kiss her Letha shied away.

“Letha I don’t know why you’re mad at me but I didn’t do it,” he grabbed his coat and walked out the door.

Letha couldn’t help believing that that man was different, he wasn’t acting like the Jayson she knew. His mannerisms slightly changed, he used to crack his knuckles backward but now he does it forward, he hates Brussel sprouts yet now they are his favorite food, he’s a little more volatile, and he enjoys watching horror movies, which repulsed him before.

“I’m overthinking,” she thought.

In the middle of the night, Letha woke up to the sound of metal clanging against rocks. She looked outside and saw Jayson hacking away at the ground. Violently, almost convulsing and grunting like an animal. Letha gasped and backed away from the window. Next, she slowly crept up on her knees to look out and Jayson must’ve been three feet away from the house staring at her, smiling, completely naked. She got her wits about her, ran to her sons’ rooms, and grabbed them both before running to the van. There was no sign of that man who took the form of her beloved.

“Mom, what’s going on?” David murmured, “You look scared, it’s scaring me.”

Matthew didn’t say anything but had a look of terror in his eyes, not of the situation but because of his mother. Something was wrong with her. They drove to a motel off Twain and Valley at least for the night.

“Mom! Please tell us what’s going on! You’re scaring me!” David screamed, raising his voice as he went on.

Matthew remained quiet. Anticipating an explanation from his mother he did not want to hear as they entered their room. Letha stared at both of her boys, sitting on opposite beds, and thought for what seemed an eternity. She is at a point where she knows they’re too young to handle the truth of what’s been going on in their house the last few weeks. Although, they are already curious, and they weren’t stupid. After a long time of consideration, Letha decided to let them in on what she has surmised is happening.

“David… Matthew,” pulling them in closer to her, “I’m going to say something that sounds a little off, but it’s real. Your father… he, umm, he isn’t himself lately,” Letha stumbled over words, realizing what she was saying could be misconstrued.

“He isn’t himself at all, he’s literally someone else. Someone else is living inside of him.”

The boys stared at their mother in disbelief.

“Let’s just go to sleep boys, in the morning I’ll call the police, and…”

“Mom what are you talking about?!” yelled Matthew, finally breaking his silence, “It’s dad! There’s nothing wrong with him mom. What’s going on with you?” Letha laid down on the bed and the boys sat there staring at her.

Sunlight burst through the window, waking Letha from her slumber. She yawned and rubbed her eyes. She quickly looked over at the other bed where her children were sleeping and with a jolt of horror realized they weren’t there. Letha sat up in a panic and ran to the bathroom, but nothing. She couldn’t help but think Jayson came and stole them away in the night.

She got in the van and started it, knowing they must’ve walked home. As she was driving, the abandoned cabin was coming up on the right and she began to feel that sense of dread rising in her stomach. She kept driving but the cabin never came. Letha was in a haze at this point and stopped the car at where she thought the cabin should be. She put her hazard lights on and walked into the woods trying to seek it out in the tall trees of the Tennessee wilderness. She continued to walk, back and forth, in circles, eventually coming upon the notion that she was lost and had no idea how to get back to the van. Where was the cabin?

Suddenly, she saw a house, walking closer, Letha realized it was her backyard. “How could I have walked this far?”, she thought as she came up on her porch. She heard voices in the house, she peered through the window and saw that there were police in the house. “Thank God!”, Letha thought to herself, thinking the boys must’ve called 911 for her. She burst through screaming for David and Matthew and to her dismay saw them in the clutches of their father in the living room. All three of them stared at her in disbelief and anger. The police came up behind Letha and put her hands behind her back as they began to read her rights.

“What’s happening?! That man on the couch isn’t my husband! He’s trying to take my children from me! Please you must believe me!” Letha screamed as she contorted her body, trying to escape her arrest.

“Letha!”, yelled Jayson in a fury. “How could you kidnap our children?! What’s going on with you?”

Letha stared at Jayson with wide eyes, pouring out sorrow, hatred, and confusion from her position on the floor now. Two policemen stood her up and walked her out to the police car. Her family stared as they drove her away. Letha spent the next couple of weeks in a jail cell but was eventually transferred to a mental ward, where they ran tests on her and kept her sedated. Jayson and the boys came to visit her when they were allowed to. The doctors gave the news to her family that they couldn’t comprehend, nor wanted to. That Letha, beautiful, funny, brilliant Letha was suffering from Capgras delusion. A rare delusion where the sufferer believes wholeheartedly that a loved one has been replaced by a duplicate or imposter. It all came rushing to Jayson at once, wondering how he couldn’t have seen that she was sick over these last few months. How could it have happened so quickly?

Jayson and the boys drove home after a visit with Letha, once again talking to a catatonic woman. Coming up on his right, Jayson saw a little building growing in his view, realizing it was a cabin, and decided to stop. How long had this been here? They were almost home, this is part of their property, how could he have never noticed it before? As he got closer, he saw a candle in the window, flickering back and forth, on and on, in a brilliant dance of madness. Jayson realized that his beloved would never see him as himself again.