At the Crossroads of Mortality and Love

Why did you think that you will live forever? Who promised you such a thing? Fool!

Isn’t that time to be honest? Isn’t that time to tell everything like it is? Wake up!…will you?

I watched it carefully. “Memento mori” he mumbled. That is what he said on the big screen. My latin skills is pretty much non-existent but I surprisingly knew what this meant: “Remember that you will die”! The idea lived in my mind, but I hesistated to speak it out loud… “Remember that you will die”…A weird uncomfortable feeling climbed up my spine feeling all the tingling that I had not felt for some time now as even my nervous system was irritated; “Remember that you will die”!

How can you comprehend that? What a line to understand and embrace? I suspect that I will never be mature enough to understand these words; never be as wise and perfected as a human being to accept it in my soul. How can you expect me to accept this? I asked; but no answer was given; no explantation good enough to make my mind cease; and I never stopped the efforts to find answers.

“Better a cruel truth than a comfortable delusion" — Edward Abbey

It takes days, maybe weeks, possibly months; even years for some people. Some want an answer, while others never speak of it again. What would you choose? To face it before the end comes, or to leave without ever speaking of it? I would not mind, whatever you pick. Perhaps the outcome will not change — the result will be the same — but you can still change the path, and leave it in any way you choose, whatever that might mean. So, what would you choose? Is it just a philosophical question, or is it an answer we eventually have to give? Just touch upon it, and take the trip. Please, do not be blind. Do not leave without questioning yourself, even if you never find the answer.

I have met people who had reached this maturity, but at the time I could hardly recognize it. I lacked the maturity to realize they had reached that place. I still remember the confidence in their eyes. What a gift this is? To complete the journey and feel content with it; wanting nothing more; craving no other path; being fearless; knowing that you have fulfilled your purpose and have nothing left to prove — neither to others nor to yourself. What a gift? How many are fortunate enough to have it? Only the lucky ones. As for the rest either have yet to realize it, and others choose to avoid facing it altogether. I do not blame them — it is a terrifying thought to embrace, knowing you cannot escape it, even as life reminds you every single day that mortality is an undeniable fact of existence shared by all around you.

"Time is the school in which we learn, time is the fire in which we burn" — Delmore Schwartz

“Memento mori”! It takes time. I am not sure I will ever be that confident. Who knows? Who am I to know? What do I really understand about life? So many questions, yet my mind cannot find answers. Maybe that is the whole point — not knowing. Like going on vacation to a new place, you trust you will enjoy the trip but never know exactly what you will encounter. Maybe it is all about the journey, not the destination. I will give it time and reassess. Maybe… maybe one day I will be enough — humble enough to understand the meaning of this.

“Love is the poetry of the senses” — Honoré de Balzac

…and then he continued. The big screen lit up again and he said louder: “Memento amoris” as a response to the previous message. My first instinct was to translate it in my mind and take a mental step back to connect the dots. How would that change a line like “Memento mori”, I questioned deeply. How could anything possibly quench the “fire” in a phrase like that? “Memento amoris”, he muttered: “Remember to love”. I did not know what to make of it at first. Then it just clicked…why that was the follow-up message. To truly understand it, you need to carry this feeling in your soul and realize its meaning — not as a fleeting thought, but as a deep feeling for the people you care about. Have you ever loved or being loved? Have you ever wished you could protect someone from all harm? Have you ever silently hoped someone would find happiness even if it meant you own sadness? Have you ever loved quietly without expecting anything in return?

In a world of continuous happiness, sadness, hope, despair, light, and shadow, please…“Memento amoris” — “Remember to love”! What more can a person ask? It has always been about love — not necessarily the kind you first think of when you read these words as romantic love, but the love you felt at least once in your life — when your mother hugged you when you were sick; when your father protected you while everyone else was against you; or when a friend promised that you would stand together as a team forever. Perhaps these are imperfect interpretations of what love truly is, but it remains an open territory for each of us to discover for ourselves. What does this offer? None can say with certainty, and none would promise it will lead anywhere meaningful. Yet some whisper that when love is kept as a compass, no path leads to regret.

When you are young, you rarely think about these things, as life feels unlimited — a gift born from nothingness. But as time passes, you come to realize that the only memories that truly remain are the sweet ones; the memories of love you shared at some point in your life. Memories you would choose to relive if given the chance — not as something new, but by turning back the clock to experience the same moment, the same embrace, the same joy, again and again until all time is now gone!

Then I read a text that presented another interpretation. I do not think the translation is entirely correct, but the its essence speaks plainly and powerfully. “Memento mori — Remember you must die”. This small shift leaves no alternative; no escape; even if you search desperately for one, even if you are so terrified that would do anything to cling to life. “Remember you must die”! Seems less a threat than a reminder that you have a purpose here, no matter who you are... and when that purpose is fulfilled, you will inevitably move on to something else. I am not even sure why I bring this up!? Perhaps it gives me hope — hope that none of this will be in vain, at least from the perspective of my human mind. Perhaps it suggests that this entire experience is about something greater, something that drives human existence; what makes you rise each day, strive to complete your tasks, and reflect on for whom you do all this. It makes you think about love, about everything you would do for it. Love — the thing that remains, the aspect of life often overlooked — perhaps it is the very center of existence. “Memento amoris” — “Remember to love”! Because that is all that endures, in its many forms and shapes. “Remember to love” as memories preserve this feeling forever. “Remember to love” because the answer has been here all along — obvious, simple, yet profound.

You fool! The answer would never be found in endless life — it lies in the love you give while you are here.

"It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live" — Marcus Aurelius