Are you a person with pride?

I am going to propose a series of situations, and I want you to name the behavioural style of the person who stars in them. In a meeting one of the participants is presenting an issue, the person leading the meeting is looking the other way, not paying attention, and ignoring this person with a gesture of contempt. Two people are talking, one of them responds with a sarcastic comment, belittling the other person, and turns around leaving her with the word in her mouth. A famous person passes between a group of fans who have gotten up early to get an autograph, this person passes without stopping or looking at them, even making an annoyed gesture when passing by them. What name would you give this attitude? Surely you have thought of the words pride, arrogance, haughtiness, arrogance ...

How do you feel towards a person with this behavioural style? And most importantly, have you considered that this person could be you?

Sometimes we are proud or arrogant people and we are not aware of it. With this article, I encourage you to identify and learn about the main characteristics of pride and learn the skills necessary to manage it: your pride or the pride that another person exercises over you.

What is pride or arrogance? Characteristics of the person with arrogance

Ruin architect is pride; the foundations he lays on top and the tiles on the foundations. (Francisco Quevedo)

He who is proud eats himself: pride is its vessel, its own trumpet, its chronicle. (William Shakespeare)

Pride is a personal characteristic or an attitude of the person who believes they have a position of superiority or privileges over others. We could also refer to an arrogant, haughty, vain or arrogant person.

Differences between arrogance and high self-esteem

Arrogance should not be confused with high self-esteem – it can precisely be an expression of the opposite, fragile self-esteem. People with high self-esteem or personal security have an adequate and balanced image of themselves. They do not feel that they are above others or that they occupy a special or superior position, but rather that they are on the same level without feeling threatened by the status of other people. In contrast, arrogant people have an overestimated self-image or self-concept (ego) or an inflated perception of themselves.

On numerous occasions, we find ourselves in psychological consultation with patients whose arrogant behaviour responds to a defensive mechanism. That is to say, these arrogant behaviours fulfil the function of defending an ego or fragile self-esteem, which hides behind certain fears and insecurities in the person. For example, the fear of rejection, the fear of "what will they say" or the fear of showing vulnerability to others. Therefore, a fundamental part is going to be to identify and work on these fears, through psychological therapy, to improve the quality of life and well-being of the person.

People “are not” arrogant, but we behave arrogantly in some –or many– vital situations.

We can all fall into this type of behaviour on some occasion without it being something worrying or pathological. The problem appears when pride becomes a habit or a tendency of our functioning.

We also find this type of trait in emotional disorders with which we usually work in consultation, what we call dysfunctional personality traits; for example, they are characteristic in narcissistic personality profiles.

Arrogance can generate a high degree of interference in the person's life –at work, family, social, and couple level…–, being able to experience social rejection or relationship conflicts with their environment.

What if you are a person with arrogance?

With this information we do not want you to feel guilty or feel bad, on the contrary, we want to offer you the possibility of being aware and being able to modulate this tendency, to repair your reactions of arrogance to your environment. Being aware of how you react opens up many opportunities for you. Therefore, self-observation is essential and I invite you to do so.

The 9 characteristics of people with pride or arrogance

How to identify whether we are behaving arrogantly or arrogantly? These are 9 characteristics that are present in behaviours or thoughts that express pride or arrogance:

1. Need for admiration or exclusive attention from others.

2. Low empathy and poor listening skills.

3. Imposing attitude of one's criteria and ideas. Aggressiveness in communication.

4. Difficulty recognizing one's own mistakes and accepting criticism. low introspection

5. Egocentrism, talking about oneself excessively.

6. Derogatory comments or undervaluation of others.

7. attitude of superiority

8. They usually have good skills or social skills.

9. Excessive concern for achievements or successes. "Unhealthy" competition.

Consequences of pride

People with these arrogant or arrogant attitudes or personality traits often experience rejection and social distance, which causes them to maintain very superficial or shallow interpersonal relationships with others. They may feel isolated or perceive a lack of support.

The person with arrogance can interpret this social rejection as something negative or painful on an emotional level or, on the contrary, interpret it as one more consequence of their position of superiority over others. Feeling unique and special, and therefore finding yourself more alone or socially isolated.

Arrogant attitudes maintain a problem of self-esteem or self-worth since this type of behaviour is a form of defence and not a way to solve or solve the lack of confidence in oneself or oneself.

In short, pride increases the probability of experiencing discomfort in personal, work, family and social relationships.

If you identified yourself as a person who has this tendency at times, we recommend that you learn to change it with the help of a psychology professional and thus improve your self-esteem and feel better.

How to relate to a person with arrogance?

The main social skills to interact with people with pride or arrogance are:

• Consider it as a challenge, try to empathize. People with arrogant attitudes can have complicated moments in dealings, but we can focus on it and consider it a "challenge". Surely in your family, in your work or in your social circle, you have had to deal with an arrogant person at some time. Empathize with the person with arrogance: think about what that person has been able to experience to behave in that way, and what their life story has been like, that will give you calm and control to respond appropriately. There are different skills or strategies that we can implement to deal with this type of attitude or "challenge" person and help us deal with such uncomfortable situations.

• Take emotional distance from his attacks. Do not stay with the content of their derogatory or hurtful comments, think about the function of those comments – for example: defending yourself, hiding certain fears or insecurities, not having coping skills or resources, not knowing how to handle your frustration or your emotions …–.

• Have assertive communication. Set limits and express your opinions without entering into arguments, always respecting the other's opinion.

• Do not "get into the rag". Change the subject or walk away if the situation becomes tense or awkward.

• Use humour to play down or reduce the tension generated

• Focus on the positive in the arrogant person or the situation. If you cannot answer at that time because of the context of the person's rank. This will help you better cope with the awkwardness of the moment until you find another time alone to express what you think is appropriate.

7 strategies to reduce my arrogant or arrogant attitudes

If you have detected that you sometimes behave arrogantly, it may help you to read the following recommendations to change your coping strategies for others that are more socially adaptive.

1. Observe yourself without fear, but as an opportunity and write down those situations.

2. Identify your mistakes and accept criticism. Develop your most human and natural side.

3. Practice active listening.

4. Develop your empathy, think about how the other person may be feeling.

5. Learn to communicate assertively, do not try to convince or impose your ideas.

6. Modulate the information you give about yourself, and also ask the other person about aspects of their life.

7. Check the comments you direct to others, you can make them feel bad.