Addiction and Childhood Trauma.

I have always been fascinated by the mind and how it works. I’ve been an outcast as a kid and never quite found the place I fit in. Observing people has always interested me. As a nurse who has studied psychiatry, I have found myself to be drawn to addicts and their stories. Being interested in what they have to say and the path they took to lead them to where they found themselves today.

Working in a mental health institution has changed my perspective on how I viewed the world and the people therein. It is a cruel place and the monsters in it were created by someone. I discovered Dr. Gabor Mate a while back and |I was impressed by his approach. The way he shed light on addiction and the way I have been treated is an actual eye-opener.

Have you ever wondered or looked at someone and thought, what happened to you? Didn't you use to be a star athlete, well known and respected parents? How did you end up here on the street? Well, we ask questions and sometimes from a judgmental point of view, and yes not all of us can just think a little further.

When a child comes home after winning a sports award, the parents are often proud and praise that child for the achievement. That is a feeling of warmth, love, belonging, and validation that child is feeling. Now, that same child comes home with a bad report, and the parents are upset and say things not to be said out of anger and disappointment to that same child that was praised for this athletic award. That child will get silent treatment and is not allowed to leave the house for the holidays. He/she is left to deal with that problem alone, they also feel ashamed for disappointing their parents. That creates a grown-up that does not talk about their problems when they have one, and one that only feels validated when they can prove themselves to someone. I think it must be exhausting living life not being validated just because…. But only by proving yourself. That same grown-up’s brain is wired from an early age that way. And everybody wants to feel those good feelings. It makes life worth living. That adult might by accident find a friend experimenting, say with opioids. He/she takes the first try, and all that dopamine being released is explosive. Finally, that hole that they have been trying to fill is now full. They feel released and can just be themselves. That person is now hooked were those who exposed him/her to the substance were just experimenting and walked away never to use it again. That is how easy it can happen.

Trauma in its simple form might seem harmless but do we know the effect of our actions and words on our youth? Our justice systems are overflowing with young, substance-abusing young men and women.

The words of Dr. Gabor Mate captivated me when he referred to addiction as a symptom and not the disease itself. In the beginning, I did not understand it but it all made sense the more I listened. The disease is trauma, most of the time it is almost always trauma. Everybody is treating the addiction as the diagnosis, all the while it being the symptom, not addressing the real cause. Is that the reason people relapse so much and find it difficult in their sobriety? Because the drugs were used to fill a hole or numb something, take away a haunting memory of the past. You stop the drugs now you are left with the haunting scars again.

I am not saying that I know the real problem or solution. I am just sharing a thought as a mother who is raising a child, reconsidering and being more aware as to how I address the child when speaking.

Just my thought of the day…