A Mental Illness Relationship

Being in a relationship is tough, regardless of who it is with, for however long, or even if it is the perfect relationship. There are always some tough rocks in the road. But dealing with mental illness as well as being in a relationship adds a new dimension of it being difficult.

If you do not deal with mental illness, small changes in your day to day interaction with your partner really does not make any difference. You think nothing of it, just that they are busy and are unable to talk with you as much. There are no thoughts that run through your head that make you doubt anything in your relationship.

When dealing with your mental illness, some days are tough to deal with. Add in the extra, let’s say, stress of a relationship, and it can get bad. Your mind can go to some very dark places very quick and there, are that cannot be controlled. You immediately go to the worst-case scenario and any little thing seems to bring you there. The longer it takes to get an answer from your partner and if the answers do not seem to be “normal,” you start to panic, thinking that your partner no longer wants to be with you, that your relationship is going to be over soon. You get all worked up over something that is really nothing.

Relationships are about trust, trust in your partner that they care for you and will never do anything to hurt you. With mental illness, it is not to say that you do not trust your partner, it is just difficult at times to think clearly. The smallest change in behavior on an “off” day, makes everything more difficult, no matter how much trust you have in your partner. You are questioning everything that goes on.

With mental illness, it is almost like dealing with two separate personalities. You have your actual personality, which is what your partner knows best. When your mental illness takes a hold, it is almost like an entirely new person, and not in the best way. You are full of negative thoughts and everything causes a breakdown almost. Once your headspace gets back to normal, there is the feeling of instant regret. You feel almost ashamed for thinking how you were, even when there was nothing really going on; it was just a busy day for them, and they could not text you as much.

The problem is that when you are dealing with all of this, you do not want to seem like burden. So, what you do a lot of the time is hide the mental illness and keep it a secret and put on an act that everything is normal when it really is not. Then it ends up all boiling over at one seemingly normal moment and your partner is confused by what is going on. It is not either that they do not understand what is going on, it is just that they had no idea that this was a thing. So, they are taken off-guard and it is tough to regain the relationship there once was.

Mental illness is a challenge, and everyone who suffers from it knows that having support is so very important to dealing with the daily struggles. The bigger struggle is deciding whether to bring your partner in on your darkest secret or not. The fear is that they will not accept you for who you are, but if they cannot accept that, then they are not the one for you after all. You are meant to be with someone who loves you for the good, the bad, and the ugly sides of you, and mental illness is not allowed to be the make-or-break factor.