A love child

It was a normal day for us. My boyfriend and I had spent the entire day together. We got up in the morning per usual and ate breafast with our daugther. We then spent the day out as a family and it was one of the best days we have had in a long time. He then asked if jus the two of us could go for a drive and grab a burger and fries. As we were eating our food something seemed off. He was quiet and a lot more distant than what he had been all day.

That is when he looked at me with tears in his eyes. At this point I was worried, I have never seen him cry in the 3 years we had been together. But the news that was about to come was something I would have never expected. The conversation started real subtle and was filled with hypothetical questions.

He then asked "How would you feel if we had more than one child?"

I replied "I am not ready for more children yet maybe within the next few years."

Then came the biggest most gut wrenching news I have ever recieved. He looked me in the eyes and said "I have another child on the way I am so sorry."

At this point I was speechless. I had nothing to say, my stomach was in knots, it felt like there was a ball in my throat. My entire heart had dropped to my stomach, I felt a pain in my chest, and became mentally checked out. I was no longer the person I have built myself up to be. I had completely fallen out of character and completely lost it. From this moment on I had shut down. So much pain and so many questions I had no idea where to start first. The last 3 years had not only been a lie but a waste of my time. The family we were building and the future we were preparring with each other had all meant nothing.

When I was able to speak again I just yelled and cried. There was nothing else I could do, this was an unforgivable act. Not only had he stepped out on our relationship, but he now created another child with this woman. A life-long commitment, something that just simply could not be fixed or corrected. But that wasn't even the worst part of this siutation. The worst part was the fact that he had to audacity to say I have no right to be upset about it. He said this was his problem and that I should not be as upset as I am because it does not affect me in any way. He said that I need to accept it because this child will be our daughters sibling, and will be in my life because the child will be in my daughters life. Which yes I understand the child is my daughters sibling and I will have to come to terms with the situation. But to say that I have no right to be upset about it was completely insane. The person I had spent the last 3 years of my life with had just told me he has gotten another woman pregant, but I am supposed to just be okay with it? I'm not sure what world he is living in but I have every right to be as upset as I was. Honestly there was much worse that I could have said and done but I held it together in what I thought was the best way possible given the circumstances.

Needless to say we broke up that day. Two years have gone by now and I still think about it everyday. I mean how could I not? My daughter has a sibling that is apart of her life now. He is everywehere I look. I accept the fact she has a sibling, and I co-parent as well as I can. But I am still hurt by it all. I still feel the pain every time I see the child. Ultimately I have moved on from all of it, I have befriended the child's mother and we work together to provide what is best for both of our children so they can have a relationship together. It still does not make the situation any easier, overall I just want what is best for my daughter.