A Farewell to Sweatpants

No offense, sweatpants, but it’s time to change into something a little less comfortable.

When the world turned to chaos, your plush promise consoled my worries.

But I feel like I’ve become too dependent on your warm and fuzzy vibes.

At the beginning of isolation, I, like many, found solace in the comfort of loungewear.

It felt like freedom at first. No longer confined by the squeeze of structured lines. No forcing into the perfect expectation of being put together.

Cozy was a safe and welcoming place for the complicated emotions to hide.

But as life starts returning to some sense of normal, I’m beginning to question my attachment to coping as a creature of comfort.

Comfort becomes complacency

When everything starts to fall apart, I cling to what I can control. I find coping with comfort is the only way to feel good.

Being dependent on comfort keeps me from experiencing what’s going on beneath the surface. It covers up the deep feelings and emotions lurking inside.

Coping, instead of dealing, becomes avoidance. And the soft, cotton fabric, a false sense of security.

Reliance on materials may temporarily ease your troubles, but it creates the facade of well-being. A short-term reprieve from the pain, only covering up the emotions you are really feeling.

Humans are wired to survive by avoiding discomfort and seeking out pleasure. When stress pushes you to your limit, we fall back on instinctual behaviors that feed our inner creatures of comfort.

When everything feels uncertain, we rely on what we know brought previous happiness. It reinforces the behavior, creating a habit loop that is difficult to break.

Instead of questioning the discomfort, you numb it.

You don’t recognize the negative emotions building inside, so it’s impossible to take action to address them. And when you suppress your feelings, they only grow stronger.

Like the ever-expanding-elastic waistband that hides pesky pandemic pounds underneath. Attempting to change into your old jeans, you find they no longer fit.

Worn stories become your resistance to change

Dressing up in comfort allows me to embrace my victim uniform. It lets me lounge in passive acceptance. A gentle reminder, I can’t handle and deal with the reality of the situation.

It keeps me safe in its hold, blaming the world for my troubles.

Comfort becomes a safe haven harboring fear and angst, giving it strength while masking the pain and suffering.

Avoidance of feelings stops you from overcoming them

If you don’t identify the feelings, you can’t eliminate them. Emotions are information that need to be experienced and expressed to understand the full story.

When you hold on to comforts, they take over your identity, holding you back from moving past the difficult situation.

Instead of challenging your thoughts and beliefs, you stay safe in what you think you know. When the world beats you down, over and over again, you avoid change in fear of starting over.

Emotions drive your actions

When you are comfortable, you view your situation as more pleasurable and create positive emotions that give the sense that life is going your way.

While negative emotions make you cautious, analyzing facts and using reason to decide if something might go wrong.

If comfort is a pleasure and positive emotions make you feel good, then how does coping with comfort become a problem?

It comes down to awareness.

Authentic positive emotions are linked to better health, relationships, creativity, and overall sense of well-being. But too much comfort, without address the underlying emotions, leads to negative effects.

"Negative emotional states - anxiety, anger, sadness, stress-are closely associated with unhealthy behaviors, such as poor diet, smoking, excessive drinking, physical inactivity, and social isolation.”

Falling too hard on comfort keeps you in a downward spiral of health. Avoiding the real emotion you feel perpetuates hopelessness and fear you will never improve your circumstances.

Fear hinders progress. It keeps you from diving into the opportunity of building something better.

From pushing outside your boundaries and limited thinking, to explore the infinite possibilities.

The only way out is to give up the comfort and challenge the story you’ve crafted for yourself. The false sense of cozy makes you believe you’re in control over the outcome.

The truth is there is little you can control. You have to give up what you can’t change and remained focus on what you can.

You have to step into the discomfort and explore the uncomfortable feelings. Give up the security of the known to discover what is possible.

Time to put real clothes back on and be seen again

After a year of living in unprecedented times, I never thought I missed my restrictive tight pants.

But the longer I stay in my stretchy pants, the more comfortable I become. And I’m finding it harder and harder to reach for those skinny jeans I once wore every day.

The false comfort of sweatpants has become counter-productive and even self-destructive.

So, I’m giving up my sweatpants to take back control.

Diving into the emotions and feeling the feelings.

Facing my fears to get out of my comfort zone.

We may not go back to normal, but we can choose to embrace change and find a new image that flatters us much better than a tattered, worn-out pair of old baggy sweatpants.