A Brotherly Bond

My brother,

I woke drenched in sweat again this morning. I'm not sure if it’s my own or that of another's. No matter- this makes, what, a straight week of waking sopping wet in the same tired, disgusting clothing? Jesus. I ask to bathe day after day only to be met with their silence. These ingrates act as if they can not hear my scream. Caleb, Caleb, can they not hear me scream..! Reducing my presence to a mere disgrace, forcing excellence to plead to clean themselves - just to clean my own fucking body. The audacity. Their audacity, leaving a grown man caked in his own filth.. I can hear you brother - bleating, baaing, begging not to falter to the pity, not to succumb to its pull. I taste the disdain mingled with your fear brother, but Her song - her song is much too sweet to ever resist. You'll see. You too will bow before Her grace. Besides, what point is there to a head held high when it's sneered at in return? Your face, brother, our face.

We are beautiful though, aren't we Caleb? Oh, what agony these fools must feel when with their majesty. How crippling it must be to be imprisoned to postering for acceptance? To skew ones sight from the embrace of the sun and the adoring cacophony of the screeching barn owl. But, not me - not us. I’ve blessed the sun in His name as He has blessed me. Together, together our collective light will incinerate these thoughtless, foul fools.

Can’t they see we’re beautiful, Caleb? Can’t they see?

All His Love,

Theo

Dear Theo,

May 20, 2012

It’s been a while since I’ve written you, but I could feel you pulling at the frayed edges of our tether. There was another incident at work today, and my Lead says this is the last straw. He says they’re going to suspend me without pay for a couple of weeks, while discussing whether to terminate my contract or not. Terminate. Such a mundane, yet impactful way to phrase such an altering act. Honestly, I tuned him out half through. You remember when Grandad took us to see Terminator at the dollar matinee? God, I loved that movie! And, how Grandad let us lather the popcorn in as much butter as we wanted, plus he got us each a box of candy instead of making us share one? Pops always bitched when you nagged for your own box. Fucking cheapskate.

Well, I suppose a two week break will be somewhat enjoyable. Clean the house some, spend time with the family, do the domestic jive we always dreamt about. To be domestic. Jesus.. what does that even mean? I hope you're well Theo.. I'll have to come by to see you while on off, yeah? It's been too long.

Much Love,

Caleb

My brother, my Savior,

I miss you. Your absence grows with every waking hour. They tell me you came to visit. Were you delivered on His word, or did you slither in the shadows cowering from His light once more? Always the coward. Always hiding, shielding blows meant for you with my body. Always the weak, pathetic one. No matter - the love I reside for you will soon be exhausted, for His love does not allow dwellings in the throes of the flawed.

But, I do love you, Caleb - please know that I do..

All His Love, His love is All.

Theo

My Dearest Theo,

I failed you. The staff finding your body limply hanging from the rafters the day after our birthday will forever haunt me. So horribly I failed you - failed us. Please forgive me, brother, but I will join you soon- for His love is all and all is His love.

Caleb