“I don’t have a drinking problem ‘Cept when I can’t get a drink.” — Tom Waits
Thanks to clever marketing, most of us think of an alcoholic as being the dirty, smelly, homeless person in the street lying on the park bench clutching his bottle. That’s a proper alcoholic. They’re the ones with the serious drink problem.
It’s never us.
It’s never the people who get up and go to work and keep our lives together, even if it is only by a thread. We hold down jobs and relationships and drag up kids so we can’t possibly be alcoholics. At least, that’s what we tell ourselves.
In this article I’m going to have a look at the signs you need to sit up and take note of because they are the ones that really tell you about your relationship to alcohol.
1. You Think There’s Something Wrong With People Who Don’t Drink.
Because you can’t imagine your life without alcohol, you think there is no life without alcohol.
This makes non-drinkers really weird people.
How can they possibly not drink this magical cure-all and kill-all non-functioning beverage? There must be something wrong with them, because if there isn’t, then that means there is something wrong with you. But, that can’t be right because everyone you know drinks! Surely, the masses can’t be wrong?
2. You Agree With The Saying — You Can’t Trust A Person Who Doesn’t Drink.
If you drink it makes you “normal” It makes you one of the crowd or one of the boys. Someone who can be relied upon to have some fun and join in. But if you don’t drink, it makes you stand out. You can’t be trusted because you are not part of the group.
When you drink with someone, it says, I trust you not to rape me, kill me or rob me. But most importantly it says, I trust you not to judge me because you are the same as me.
“Never trust a man who doesn’t drink.” -W.C. Fields
3. You Have Tried To Persuade Someone To Have A Drink Even When They Said They Don’t Want One.
Take a good look at these standard lines used to cajole someone into having a drink. Do they sound familiar?
Go on, have a drink.
It’ll do you good.
What’s wrong with you?
Let me get you a proper drink.
Just a little one won’t hurt.
It does you good to let your hair down.
I’ll buy you one. What do you want?
You’ll feel better if you have a drink.
If you have ever used any of these lines on someone who said they didn’t want a drink, then it is time to take a look at the bully in the mirror. When did you become the person who bullies someone into drinking?
Not only are you bullying, harassing and being a total arsehole. You are only doing it to make yourself feel less guilty about drinking. You can’t bear the fact they aren’t drinking because you fear being judged by them. You want to feel better about yourself and you don’t give a damn about them.
If you swapped alcohol for sticks of celery, would you go to the same extreme lengths to force someone to eat celery with you?
Can you even imagine yourself saying, let me get you a stick of celery it’ll do you good. Of course you wouldn’t, because celery is actually good for us, so there can be no negative or moral judgement on anyone who eats it.
4. You Have Bought Someone A Double Or A Large One When They Asked For A Single Or Small One
Naughty, naughty!
When you buy someone a double after they specifically asked for a single, not only are you riding roughshod over their wishes, you are only doing it because you want to drink doubles.
You want to get wasted and you want someone to get drunk with you.
Buying someone else a double so they get drunk with you makes you feel like you are not the only drunk. The other reasons for buying people doubles when they asked for a single are not good ones and you’re likely to be a rapist, robber or murderer.
5. You Have Topped Up Someone’s Glass When They Said No.
When you are an alcoholic, what you really love is having your glass constantly topped up.
Going to events where they serve free flow alcohol is like manna from heaven. The event itself pales into insignificance. What’s important is the booze.
As an alcoholic, you’re going to believe that everyone else feels the same as you and wants free flow booze. So you are going to do your level best to make sure they drink themselves stupid like you.
When you realise that some people like to measure how much they drink and don’t want their glass topped up you start to worry they are judging you and they will know how much you are drinking. To hide this and stop people criticising you, it becomes your mission to top up their glasses so they also get drunk.
“Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.” — W.C. Fields
6. You Explain Your Drinking Habits To Non-Drinkers
A clear sign you have a drinking problem is when you speak to someone who isn’t drinking and you suddenly find yourself explaining and justifying your drinking habits.
You find yourself saying how you like the taste of alcohol. You particularly like the way it makes you relax and unwind after a long day. You always like to make it clear that you aren’t an alcoholic because you can take it or leave it, so it’s not a problem. The truth is, you have a doubt at the back of your mind that you can’t leave it.
You wouldn’t justify why you drank water, because you know water is healthy and good for you. When you explain your drinking habits, you are really trying to justify them to yourself because at some level you know you have a drink problem.
7. You have claimed ownership of alcohol.
When you say I like my drink, you have claimed ownership of alcohol. You have made it a personal possession in the same way you would a dog, car, house. For example, I like my dog, I like my car, I like my partner. They are all very specific to you, they are personal to you. You are establishing a connection and a bond. You are giving it importance and status in your life and establishing a firm relationship.
Final Thoughts
If you have done any of these things, maybe it’s time to give yourself a chance to experience life without alcohol. It can be done. I know, I did it. And I have done all the above and now I look back and realise what a god damn awful person I was. I don’t drink now and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. So if there’s one thing I can say with truth and conviction, it’s that there is life beyond booze and it’s a pretty damn good one.
Live Strong, Love & Get A Side Hustle
About the Creator
Caryn G
Loves coffee & life.
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