6 Simple Steps to Rebuild Your Life After Trauma

“Are you ok?”

It was 2004, and I had been a police officer for a few months. I was at a crime scene so horrific and unusual that it was unlikely ever to happen again. My colleague could see that I was far from ok, and yet I guarded the scene diligently for the next several hours — many of them alone.

Four hours later, I left the scene, returned to the station, did some paperwork, and went home. As I got into my car, I cried like a baby. I have been crying ever since.

Perhaps you are like me and have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Maybe your trauma is undiagnosed. You may not even know you have trauma but recognize something is not right in your life.

In 2007 I was diagnosed as 100% disabled for the rest of my life. I suffered a ten-year depression as a result, but I have emerged from the other side. Yes, I live with PTSD, but my life is now happier and more productive than I ever thought possible.

Just reading this article means you have taken the most critical first step — you have admitted you have a problem and want to get better. That is amazing! Many people never reach out for help. You should be proud to have taken this step.

1. Talk to a Loved One.

When I began suffering from PTSD, the first thing I did was tell my family. The first person to notice something was wrong was my dad. He was not a great help, didn’t understand my condition, and often put his foot in it by saying the worst things possible. Luckily my mum was supportive from the very beginning and remains so today. Shortly after becoming ill, I met my future wife, and she has also been a beacon of understanding.

You don’t need EVERYONE to understand. If you are lucky enough to have one or two people you can confide in, it can make all the difference.

My family's unconditional love has been a big help at every stage in my journey. If you do not have any family to turn to, perhaps you have a friend? You only need one person that you feel safe to confide in.

You do NOT have to go into details about your trauma. You might be unable to do so, or the pain might be too great. Letting them know something terrible happened and that you are suffering is enough.

2. See Your Doctor.

A good doctor will listen to you and may prescribe medication. There is a lot of stigma surrounding medicine for mental health, and I know people have had bad experiences with certain types. But let me tell you this:

Without medication, I would not be alive today.

It took multiple psychiatrists and over ten different types of medication before I finally found the winning combo for me, but once I did, I never looked back. Everything began to fall into place, and everything I have achieved in life since those dark days has resulted from medication.

The doctor will only prescribe tablets if they think it will help. They do come with side effects, although these are usually mild, and it may take some time to narrow down the dose and brand which works for you.

3. Talk to a Therapist.

Your doctor may recommend seeing a therapist, which could be free or at your expense depending on your country.

I have to be honest and say that my experiences with therapists have mainly been negative. They didn’t understand or help me, and I wasted a lot of time and money before throwing in the towel.

Other people have had fantastic experiences and credit therapy with changing their lives. It is a different experience opening up to a therapist than a loved one. While a loved one cares about you, they lack the knowledge to guide you and walk with you on your journey. A good therapist has the training to know how to handle your situation.

If you are hesitant about tablets, a therapist can make a significant difference. With medication, they create a powerful two-pronged approach.

4. Exercise.

If depression and PTSD are eating you, you may struggle to get out of bed, never mind exercise. Working out may be impossible right away. However, I hope for you that medication and talking can improve your condition enough for you to begin to take regular exercise.

Once you have the energy, exercise is the single best thing you can do for yourself. As well as untold physical benefits, it releases dopamine into your brain and will make you feel a lot better.

A great way to begin exercise is to start taking walks. Being outside, ideally in nature, is uplifting in itself.

5. Take Care of Your Other Physical Needs.

PTSD plays havoc with your sleep schedule. Some people sleep too much. Some cannot sleep, and many alternate between these two extremes.

I was sleeping 17 hours a day and still feeling tired on one medication. On another, I couldn't sleep at all. Now I am at a healthier 9 hours a night.

One thing I don’t do so well is eating healthily. What you eat affects your brain and can influence your mood. I am working on this at the moment. A few weeks ago, I gave up all chocolate, biscuits, and cakes. The point is, I am a work in progress and don’t want to give you the impression I have it all figured out.

Moderation is the key. Sleep, but not too much. Eat, but not too much. And be aware that you may be using food as a way to suppress your pain — the same way a drug addict uses heroin. I am a recovering foodaholic myself.

6. Be Kind to Yourself.

You will not progress on a smooth trajectory. You will have setbacks and days where you feel you cannot achieve anything. There are even days when you will hate yourself.

Expect these days.

Forewarned is forearmed. These days will be bad enough without being caught by surprise. Sometimes it is two steps forward and one back. The important thing is you are better than where you started. Small gains compound over time into something powerful.

Conclusion.

Get the word “victim” out of your vocabulary. It is a word that represents powerlessness. A victim is at the mercy of circumstances. They have lost something they cannot get back and are dependent on external circumstances improving to determine how they feel.

A survivor knows an event does not define them. They know they have it inside them to rise more robust than ever before. They turn their misfortune into something positive.

If you have read this article until now, congratulations on taking this most important of steps. The road to your recovery starts now.