4 lies your depression is telling you

You need it and it needs you.

Depression makes you feel like it is the only “person” you can rely on and that without it, you have nothing.

It is so all consuming that you feel without it; you are nobody. It defines your personality, guides how your day goes and it tells you how you should feel. If you take the depression away, what do you have left? If you can no longer hide behind the guise of being sad, then who will you be?

The thought of not knowing who you are without depression is ultimately terrifying. I liken it to being in a bad relationship. You are so beaten down you feel like no one will ever love you and that you are simply getting what you deserve. The trouble is that the relationship is one you have with yourself.

How do you escape yourself?

I think what we must remember is that there is a life without depression and that we can get there. Depression is Jekyll and Hyde. It is not the friend it is pretending to be to you, and it does not have your best intentions at heart. You cannot trust it. It wants you to stay in its grip and not try to break out.

The real truth that you need to hear is that…you are enough on your own. In fact, you are better off without it. Depression is heavy and without it, you will feel lighter.

It's not "bad enough" for you to seek help.

“Pick yourself up there are people who have it much worse than you”

This is something we are told numerous times throughout our lives.

The consequence of this is that we tend to minimize our problems to the point we no longer feel they are valid. When they no longer feel valid, we don’t talk about them anymore because we don’t want to feel like we are “bugging” someone (or worse, attention seeking) with our unimportant moaning about our “feelings”.

Talking about our mental health has become much more widely accepted over the past couple of years with numerous celebrities writing books or creating journals to document their experience. While some might find this a blessing, I find it to be more of a curse.

Don’t get me wrong, the conversation is one that needs to be had and those with a platform should be using it in this way. I think it’s great to normalize talking openly about our mental health.

The problem I have is that It makes me feel like I’m not depressed enough for my feelings to be valid.

You find yourself thinking, “I’m such a moaner, look at all these people who have it so worse than me.” I’m sure this was never the intention, but this is what depression does. Once a conversation gets going, it opens you to comparing yourself to other people’s stories.

The truth is simple; you feel how you feel. What and how you feel is important because it’s yours and you are no less important than any other person who also struggles with depression. It is not a one-size-fits-all and every person who feels it, experiences it differently. This is the exact reason why what you are feeling is valid and you should (and need to) get help if you feel like it would help you to feel better.

Everyone is moving on and leaving you behind

I think social media has SO much to do with this one. We all know that the Instagram is full of posts that are selected because they represent the best moments of people’s lives. Everyone wants to give off the impression that they are happy and successful and that you should want to be them.

The reality is though that, once that selfie has been taken, the beaming smile will go, and they will go on living their boring everyday life like the rest of us.

The truth is evident by the sad fact that far too many people have taken their lives who seemingly live a perfect, enviable existence.

All of the above can you make you feel insignificant and like life is passing you by while those around you are busy building their empire and living their dream. This causes you to feel panicked and stressed.

I am sure this is not true, but this is the trick our mind plays on us.

Right now, you are exactly where you need to be. There is a reason why you are going through what you are right now and, if it’s depression, I am sorry that you are experiencing this. Trust me, I know how hard it is to see people enjoying life while you’re lying in bed crying because you can’t see an end to the pain you feel.

Your day will come. Those who love you will not leave you behind; they will drag you forward with them, kicking and screaming, through the unconquerable maze that is life. If someone does leave you behind, it is simply because the path they are taking is not one you need to be walking.

There is another path for you in a different direction that will take you on to better places.

Things are never going to get better.

When you are in the deep depths of depression, no matter how many ways you try to “cheer yourself up” it’s simply impossible. The only thing you can do is give in to it and hope that the wave will break and wash you up on the seashore. It might take a few hours; it might take a few weeks, but you will leave the sea and reach the land again.

Remember that when you get there, it might not look like how you expect it to and that is okay. None of us truly know what happiness feels like until we don’t feel it anymore.

Take every day as it comes and take pride and hope in the fact that you are surviving everything that is sent to try you. Life is hard. Some days it is so hard. It is unfair, cruel and just plain terrible to feel so hopeless. I can only promise that the sun will rise for you again and you will feel the warmth of it on your face (hopefully while you’re lying on that beach you’ve washed up on, with a cocktail in hand!).

Steph x