Young Love with John and Raphael in Not Getting up

The morning was halfway over, and Raphael never came to class I wish I pushed him more this morning when he told me to go ahead to class and that he'd be there soon!

"John!"

"Yes? Mr. Rueben?" I responded jerked out of my thoughts by our homeroom teacher calling my name.

“Raphael has yet to show up and class is about to start can you get him I don’t want him to get in trouble for missing class for his mental condition.”

"Of course I’ll get him!" I replied, hurrying to his dorm.

"Raphael? Are you awake?" I spoke gently for fear of disturbing him.

"Unfortunately," not good! He sounded like he was crying.

"Raphael, I'm coming in," I open the door, and just as I feared the lights were off, but I could still see from the light coming from the window. He was sitting curled up under his blanket in the back corner of his bed.

I sat down, next to him and he curled into me, and I kissed his forehead.

"Mind telling me what's wrong?"

He tried to start talking a few times, before pointing to his poetry journal, laying on the bed. "It's in there," his voice was weak and unsteady. It always breaks my heart to hear him like that.

I picked up the book found the newest one and started reading

When,

It feels like

The world,

Is against you.

And there is nothing,

That you can do.

When,

What's expected,

Is just,

too much

To bear.

When,

You don't know

What you're doing.

So it always,

Comes out wrong.

When,

You're at your wits' end,

And,

You have

No idea

What to do.

And,

There is no

End in sight.

And,

There is nothing

That you can do.

No way,

To end the suffering.

No way,

To ease the pain.

The pain.

The suffering.

That is stored inside.

Only,

This overwhelming

Feeling,

Of shame.

Shame,

Caused by,

Your inability,

To function.

Your inability,

To get things done.

Things,

That should be easy,

But for you.

The solutions,

Are out of reach.

And your fear.

Your fear.

Of reaching out,

For help.

For fear,

Of their response.

For fear,

Of waisting

Their time.

For why

Would they,

Want to help you.

Why would they care.

About.

Me...

I let out a sigh. Ok, I knew that he was having some trouble in math, but I didn't think it affected him this much, but this is Raphael, all problems are exaggerated and lumped together, it's just how his mind works.

I held my boyfriend tight as I spoke. "Raphael, having difficulty isn't something to be ashamed of and I'm sure if you asked teach, he'd help you, don't ever feel like you’re wasting anyone's time. Your amazing Raphael, I know that you don't always see that, but I do, and so do lots of other people!"

He raised his gaze to meet mine, and I brushed a lock of hair off his face, his eyes were still puffy from crying, it hurt me to see him like that. I planted a kiss on his forehead.

"As much as I would like to just hold you all day, I was kinda sent here to bring you back to class..." his response was somewhere between a whimper and a groan. "I know babe, but we need to get to class. Please, for me," I begged. And he started to shakily get off of me and out of bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The poem was written by me, I don't have it up yet, but I have posted quite a few other ones.

If you like this story? I have others in this collection, and I have and several different installments in this series that I am working on, as well as a poetry collection. I keep a google doc housing summaries of each story and all of the installations that I've posted in an easy to navigate google doc: Click Here

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~~Ben Ray