Why not Cecil?

My son Alex was always my son, even though he was born a female. I knew since the day that he started walking and talking that I was going to have a problem. That was the way that I saw it. I thought it was going to be a problem. Not a problem in an ignorant way. I'm open to my children being who they want to be. Just a problem in the fact that I had three other girls.

See having a bunch of daughters living in the same house means living a certain kind of lifestyle for me. There was the purchasing of clothing. Girls require alot more accessories and things that boys don't. So, I was buying shoes and dresses and hair ballies. I was buying bows and stockings and pretty socks, all things for girls. Therefore, there was a problem when I'm spending all of that money to have a child fight me and refuse to wear the stuff.

It didn't stop there. I also had to get all of their hair done. I had to pay someone to do four daughter's hairs. I didn't have time for Alex to cry fight and complain about the styles. It was a constant struggle. I was very content with just giving in and just letting Alex dress however he wanted to at that time. His mother however was not. She was determined and adamant that her daughters would look like little girls. She thought that Alex was just a tom-boy and she wasn't having it.

I knew that it was more than that. Alex was not a tom-boy. He didn't want to dress like a girl or act like a girl but he didn't want to act like a boy either. He liked dirt and bugs, but he wasn't about to play anybody's football, basketball or anything like that. He just wanted to be himself and himself just happened to not be a girl.

Now during that time, I had started calling him Cecil as a joke. I was introducing him as Cecil to my family and friends and calling him my son. It was jokingly because honestly, I never expected this to be a thing in the future.

Then Caitlyn Jenner happened. A man became a woman and the world accepted it. This famous man. A former athlete decided to be a woman. In the limelight and with a famous wife and children. On television for the entire world to see his journey and he got through it. He's looked at by many as a hero. She even won a woman of the year award. That started a plethora of acceptance of the transgender community.

Then came all of the pronouns and people being told that they can be whatever gender they want and all kinds of things of that nature. Then my son says he wants to be Alex.

I'm not going to lie I was shocked by that. Yeah, it was a joke as he was younger. Yeah, I thought it was a phase at one point but now it was real. Now he's 17 years old and serious. I was scared. I didn't want him out in the world like that. So yes I questioned his decision quite often. I told him about the prosecution that he was going to recieve. I knew that the world was kind of going in a direction of acceptance but not for my son. Not where we are from. He's not Caitlyn Jenner.

I didn't ridicule him though. I called him Alex. I've talked to him about hiding his breast. I took him to get his first high top fade. I talked to him about women. Yes, he likes women. It's like he really is my son. I've even had him as a guest on my podcast. Partly because I love him but also because I want him to know I support him. Even if I don't agree with his actions I support him. I support his courage. I still was skeptical about the scrutiny that he was going to receive.

Then Elliot Page happened. Elliot Page is an actor that was born a woman t now living as a man. He starred as a female character on the Umbrella Academy a very popular Netflix series. After his transition to a man the fans at first didn't show support for him. They were calling for him to be removed from the show. They had voiced the opinion that as a male now he shouldn't be allowed to play a female character.

I thought this was going to help make my point to Alex. He enjoyed that show and this was a prime opportunity for me to voice my concerns. I said to him "You see this! A famous actress on a great show has been turned on by the fans. If this can happen to Ellen Page what makes you think these kinds of things can't happen to you."

He looked me right in the eyes and told me he didn't care. We argued. I said some really harsh things. I told him that he was a woman. I told him that he thinks the world is accepting of this and here's proof that they aren't. Then he told me this conversation was proof that I wasn't either.

Not me? Not being supportive of one of my children. I felt like I was trying to protect him. He made it very clear that he didn't need that. It was hard for me as a father to accept that my child didn't need protection and I handled it all wrong. I can admit that now.

What helped me first was his sisters. They were all very supportive. They called him Alex. They referred to him as their brother to everyone. They didn't care about his decision. That made me really think about my actions. These were girls that at times I thought hated each other. I'm not being extra either. There were times that I thought that my daughters weren't going to be on speaking terms once they became adults. So to see them be accepting, to see them be loving and supportive was a shock to my system.

Then Elliot Page happened again. Netflix decided to support him in an unprecedented way. They found a way to please the fans and still show support for Elliot. They actually wrote his transition into the show. They turned his female character into a male character. They didn't go over the top with it either. He simply showed up as a man. Told his family the deal and that was that. It worked for the show and the show finished it's final two seasons without missing a beat. The fan still watched and seemed satisfied with the show's decision.

Alex was right in the mix as well. He couldn't wait to tell me I was wrong. He could too because even though I was very insensitive to him he knew that we could fix it. One thing has always been for sure with me that I'll always be there to listen to my children. Yeah we go through our differences, but they know when it really comes down to it, I'm still their father. They know they can always talk to me for the most part.

So from Caitlyn Jenner getting the ball rolling on acceptance of transgenders to the world. All the way to Elliot Page receiving that acceptance from a big company like Netflix. My son can be himself and thrive in a world not without persecution but at least a feeling of love and support. Not only from his family and friends but also from other people in the world.

Now even though I still may not have a full grasp or understanding of his life. I can at least feel that he'll be ok with his decision. I can at least accept that this is how he wants to live his life and can call him my son Alex. I still have one big issue with him that he doesn't seem to ever want to address. That issue is why he didn't choose Cecil for his new name. I love my son.