What kind of energy can support a person to walk through the valley and confusion of life?

We can do the following to get out of the confusion and determine the direction.

One 、Picture "self-portrait" determine the goal of life.

Two 、Find out the boundary of ability and make the right choice.

Three 、. Find an idol and look up to the example.

4, dress yourself up to more and present the best state.

You feel lost because you have broken through cognition; cognition awakens the thinking and ascends to a higher spiritual level.

Do not be afraid of confusion. The more you are worried, the more they will gain an inch.

First, why are you confused?

For the first 22 years of our lives, we have been taught to be obedient and live as defined by our parents and teachers.

It is difficult to awaken our sense of self, and we cannot be considered independent people.

After graduation, life's problems have changed from "multiple choice" questions with standard answers to "open-ended propositions" without answers, which means there is no longer a step-by-step path to follow, and we can only go on by ourselves.

We do not have a way to go, but too many roads, resulting in not knowing how to choose.

Of course, you can also go with the flow or continue to let others define themselves.

In this way, you go back to a life of routine, you still do not need to think and follow the path that your parents won't, but do you like such a life?

You may say that your parents' generation lives a routine life and is still very happy. But if you travel back in time, you will find that they had far fewer choices at the same age as us.

If you have a family craft, you can make a living with your craft; if you have the opportunity to go to university, you will be directly assigned, and you will have an iron rice bowl for life.

In those days, people were satisfied with feeding their families, being well-fed and clothed, and to mention anxiety and confusion.

I have seen migrant workers sitting on the ground during breaks, playing landlord with their cottage phones, occasionally drinking wine together, telling dirty jokes, and laughing with simplicity and brilliance. They are rarely confused and do not know what confusion is.

The parents' generation, who are not highly educated, always stay at the most basic material level of cognition, and they can rarely perceive the pain that comes from the spiritual level.

The reason why you feel confused is that you have broken through cognition. Cognition awakened the thinking and ascended to a higher spiritual level.

Second, what mindset to face confusion.

Confusion and anxiety go hand in hand; they are monsters that will devour you; they always bully the soft. The more you are afraid, the more they will advance.

Next, I will teach you two moves to help you easily face the confusion.

Step 1: Learn to accept one thing - life and career development are non-linear.

Life is like a long voyage; you never know how often you will turn, detour, or even backtrack on your way forward.

I thought after graduation could be a big show, but the results of the job search for several months did not receive an offer;

I thought they work overtime every day, work hard, can get attention, and the result of the promotion are someone else.

I thought jumping jobs could have better space, but I did not expect another pit, and even worse than the last one.

......

Our journey trajectory is often circuitous, taking one step, taking two steps back, and then three steps.

If you want to minimize the detours, and the fastest speed to reach the end, we must expand their skills pool more to make a big break at the right time.

Step 2: Face up to failure and success. It doesn't matter if you fail 1000 times; you only need to succeed one time.

Students who have watched "I am a singer" know that the program has a kicker singer; if the kicker is successful, you can stay on stage. The smart new singers will choose the highest-scoring and most authoritative singers to kick off the show.

Because they know that it is normal to fail the challenge, but if they succeed, they will be able to become famous and famous.

When we encounter difficulties, is it not the same?

Whether it is a failure 1 or 1000 times, it does not matter; it is just off-stage practice.

But as long as there is a huge success, it is enough to let you kill all the opponents on stage.

Wu Xinhong, the founder of MeituXiu, started 32 businesses before the success of MeituXiu, but they all failed.

He made each failure meaningful: after summing up the lessons of failure, he cleverly avoided many pitfalls and made MeituXiuXiu a hit, quickly becoming the "exclusive camera" for young women.

Therefore, do not be afraid of failure; you only need to succeed once; you can defy all failures.

Three, you should not do when you are confused.

I'll start with the two things you should never do when you're confused!

1, do not indulge yourself, addicted to addictive things.

For example, brush drama, gambling, watching pornography, etc...

You may use short-term stimulation and pleasure to numb yourself to cover up negative emotions.

But doing so will leave you with all sorts of stimulating and addictive things that raise the pleasure threshold. Once you get away from these things, you feel that life is no fun, and you don't see any hope for the future, becoming depressed and just wanting to continue being a salty fish.

This is terrible.

In your early twenties, you are in the most creative, the most ideas and personality, the most daring to go forward stage ah.

Therefore, into the confusion, anxiety, and negative emotions, you must not "break the can" because this total denial will directly kill the infinite possibilities of life.

2, do not pretend to work hard; just find a "seemingly progressive" thing to do to cover up anxiety, and comfort themselves.

If you do, then first of all, praise you: you are better than most of your peers, at least know what is the bottom line.

And you're smart enough to know how to use tools to get out of a funk, like searching this topic on Zhihu.

So you choose to look "positive" to comfort yourself, such as reading 30 pages a day, running 5 kilometers, or even volunteering to work overtime to extend your work day.

Then your brain will tell you: look, I'm working hard every day, and although I'm still lost, I'm at least moving in a good direction.

It sounds like it's not unreasonable. However, you gradually realize that things are not going well: the

Reading a book every day, and giving up after less than a week: books are obscure and difficult to understand, really meaningless, or novels are more interesting.

Running every day, but when it rains, you don't want to go out at all, and then it doesn't rain, you also forget about running.

Active overtime, you want to brush the sense of existence and improve their own, but the brain always thinks about the snacks at home, the result is that nothing can be learned.

This behavior is like an itchy head, but you prefer to scratch your feet.

You don't know what's wrong, but the prescriptions of others are "read books and work out", so you also blindly treat.

But the result is that intermittent hesitation, persistent muddle.

So, you become increasingly confused and anxious and obviously have worked so hard, why is still the same place?

Worse still, you may suddenly fall into a deep self-doubt and self-doubt late at night, and even enter the "indulge yourself" mode.

In order to avoid this "indulge yourself" mode, I strongly recommend that you can read more, read a lot and read continuously.

Reading is the most effective way to accumulate internal literacy and constantly break the thinking barriers. With these internal accumulations, you will be more confident in facing life's changes.

Four, what you should do when you are confused