Some Things Aren't For You

You pick and choose

The parts of me

You prefer to see

To give empathy

Like all the rest

Can be hidden

Rewritten

A footnote of history

I run a publication on Medium, Siren Song, where I post a monthly writing prompt. For June, I provided two. A simple call for PRIDE-related writing and the broad phrase prompt "Magical Journey," knowing not everyone would have something to say on the topic of pride. Along with those, I welcomed some new writers to the publication.

Once published, I immediately received a comment from one of the new writers to remove their name from the post; they "nicely" explained that the topic of pride "went against their personal values and comfort." I will admit this was disappointing. I appreciated their work and was pleased when they joined the group, but I anticipated the prompt would evoke strong feelings. I removed the writer from the publication and informed them that I had completed the task.

Careful, pride stains

Don't leave your fingers or toes in the pool

You'll leave rainbow trails

Wherever you go

They replied, insistent that they only wanted their name removed from the monthly prompt, not from the publication as a whole. Claiming support for me and the aspects of the publication that aligned with their values and comfort. I took my time and did my best to formulate a response that was both kind and firm in its disagreement. As a member of the LGBTQ community, this individual was "nicely" refusing to stand next to me, or even in the same room, if you will allow the metaphor.

I indicated that, regardless of the fact that I am married to someone of the opposite sex, it isn't outward appearances that matter; it's the inward person that defines who we are. It's possible to hide behind a façade of kindness or what society expects, but the makeup of our humanity remains unchanged. This person may phrase their words of exclusion calmly and gently, but their content remains the same. I know they feel like their stance is one of love, that they are not hurting anyone, but those words hurt. Less than being slapped in the face by family members or dragged out of the bathroom, I was "using wrong," but they still hurt.

I don't need your acceptance.

Your support

You just aren't welcome

In spaces custom-built

For my safety

Second, the publication is called Siren Song. Mermaids have historically, and more than ever now, become a symbol of LGBTQ pride and transformation. I wasn't even allowed to watch The Little Mermaid as a child. I wasn't supposed to play with mermaid or fairy dolls or to read books on the subject. Fantasy, in general, was frowned upon because it lets you see the parts of your inner self you have to keep hidden in the pages or on the screen.

I carefully explained that a publication themed with a symbol of LGBTQ+ pride may not be the best fit for this person since they had such strong feelings on the matter. Strong enough to request removal from the monthly prompt with the rest of the publication members. I went on to add a brief note on the topic of LGBTQ+ support and the mermaid connection to the publication's guidelines to prevent any further confusion or distress for future writers.

Through the eyes of fantasy

This fragile body melts away

No one can restrain or tame

The person I become

Behind closed eyes

Siren Song is all about exploring those topics, diving into fantasy, and sharing the poetry of your soul, whether cis or queer. I felt the conversation ended neutrally or positively if I were to engage in wishful thinking. That wasn't the case. Before the hour was up, I saw a farewell letter appear in my feed from the writer I had been interacting with.

I tried not to click on it, worried that I would be agitated by what I read, but I couldn't help myself. It didn't mention me or the incident specifically but discussed how, despite having made numerous connections on Medium, this person hadn't found what they were looking for and was pushed out of their comfort zone, etc. The rest was generic, about not having time and looking for somewhere else that was a better fit for their lifestyle and needs. A lot of people have been moving on from Medium lately, so I don't think many gave it a second thought. I wish I could provide a more accurate rendition, but they really did delete their account; it wasn't all bluster.

You can't run

From what you

Fear inside yourself

Rainbows appear in every sky

I wasn't so much mad as I was sad that this person was so disturbed by our interaction that they felt the need to leave Medium. I tried not to let it bother me, but guilt keeps creeping in. It's bizarre how someone else having such a serious problem with me could make me feel like I have wronged them, but that's the mind fuck right? I will never even know what it was that pushed them over the edge. They could have had a series of negative interactions, mine being the last, but I still fret.

It could have been the discussion on mermaids itself. I never gave it a second thought because to me, Mermaids are about as gay as it gets, but some people like to keep their heads under water. This person could have been decked out in mermaids, and was sent into their own guilt spiral when I made my statement. I just hope that they come around enough to write on the same sites as the rest of us. To live on the same planet. When we can't do that, problems arise.

K.B. Silver

**

I started this thinking I might submit it for the Pride under Pressure challenge, only to realize it had already closed when this event occurred. I just kept writing and finished it anyway. When compared to the heinous crimes committed against me in my life, this account seems almost silly, but it is relatable and can't be played for shock value. It is something that can and does happen to everyone. It's easy to explain away the big things, such as criminal attacks, as the acts of the truly deranged. What about these little interactions with people we thought we liked, who we thought liked us? They can be far more distressing in the long run, at least in my opinion.