Queer-baiting and Bi-erasure are cut from the same cloth

Over the past couple of years there's been an uptick of what is referred to as "Bi-erasure" and "Queer-baiting". And what I mean by there's been an uptick in Queer-baiting, I mean there is an uptick of people accusing people of influence (influencers, musicians, actors/actresses, etc) of "Queer-baiting". Firstly, What is Queer-baiting? In short, its the implication of queerness without any real representation of it, it originated from the media, wherein shows would imply queerness of a character but not actually show queer relationships in any meaningful way. But this term has started to be applied to public figures over the years, most notably with Yungblud.

When the term is applied to individuals, it implies, rather explicitly that the person is being dishonest about their sexuality. In effect, it denies that person's expression or experience of their sexuality. Which is one similarity with Bi-erasure. So what's Bi-erasure? Bi-erasure is when you simplify sexuality into purely binary terms, so for example, if you state you are bisexual but you are in a same-sex relationship, you are no longer bi, you're gay, and the opposite being the case if you were in a opposite-sex relationship. "You aren't bisexual, you are just experimenting" comes to mind.

With Queer-baiting in the case of individuals, the accusation is that they haven't been in a relationship with someone of the same sex openly, or haven't expressed their queerness openly, therefore, they aren't queer or are just using the queer community as a marketing ploy. Firstly, can I point out the bleeding obvious, the content of a person's sexual expression is not your business, secondly, if they did express it openly after being accused of queer-baiting, a bunch of you would still accuse them of being "performative" or pandering... In short they can't win. Those who accuse someone of queer-baiting is demanding transparency, knowing full well that the level of exposure to that person's relationships is unachievable or a major breach of privacy for most people, especially celebrities.

When it comes to Bi-erasure in the context of Queer-baiting, both share the end characteristic that the individual being accused or their identity questioned is unable to prove themselves in any way that appeases the accuser. To put it bluntly, even if the person started an OnlyFans and filmed every single date they went on with anyone, or every romantic or sexual experience they've ever had, they would still be accused of being not-bi or performative. I think there's also a point to be said that, the other side of it is, there is a pressure from biphobia people towards bisexuals to constantly meet their standards for their own relationships, and for some who are Bi, the only way for them to properly express themselves to that standard might to start relationships that are highly inappropriate for them and their mental health, such as Polyamorous relationships.

The long and short of it is, both create major breaches of privacy and create binaries that aren't there in the first place. So what do you do? What do I or anyone else who is either bisexual, an ally or anyone else do? Well to put it simply, you call it out. If you see someone trying to bait someone into exposing too much of themselves on the internet, you call it out, report it, or at the very least say something about it. Its a major breach of any one person's individual experience and it assumes malice where there is no evidence to support it. From the wider picture, both bi-erasure and accusations of queer-baiting (towards individuals) are attempts of queer-erasure as a whole.

In my mind, the consequences of both Bi-erasure and Queer-baiting are no different than the consequences of trans/non-binary erasure, you are creating an unrealistic vision for what a trans or non-binary person is, or should be. While completely disregarding the individual person's agency in how they choose to represent themselves. It creates an environment of hostility towards representation, rather than an acceptance or yearning for it. Which in the world we currently exist in, wherein our trans/enby siblings are having their rights and agency ripped from them. As well as there being talk in certain areas of the world, cough America cough, of rolling back on Gay rights we need more representation, hell, we need more talk about us from straight allies.

The motive at the moment is completely irrelevant just now, so long as it brings attention to the community as a whole, as well as the diversity within the community then it's a good thing. Are there bad actors? Sure, of course there are, but I think virtue signalling towards what a Bisexual, Gay, Queer, Trans, Non-binary, Asexual, Aro person looks like or has to portray out in public and in private is completely inappropriate. The longer that we continue to police what is and isn't LGBTQ+ Representation, the quicker we will no longer get any representation. When our representation becomes that of a bickering, infighting group, our cause will be flung to the wayside and bad actors will not come from the outside, they will sprout from the carcass that we've left in our wake.

So for the love of god and ourselves, stop policing what is and isn't queer, or bi, or gay, or trans, or anything. Because at this point the only thing you are policing is our ability to keep living our lives.