Pride and young

My story is still continuing but I wish it will finally come to an end now. The day I found out that I had a strong interest in my own gender. I was generally not surprised. I’ve been questioning my liking for awhile. It was a day where a female started to hit on me with her bright color here and her soft smile that lights up every time I make a joke. Butterflies started to act up in my belly like there was no tomorrow. The fact that she was there to make a smile appear at my darkest moment still questions me. Why me ? Why not me? Do I like her? Maybe it's just a type of stage that will pass by? Maybe not. I'm young and I don't know anything many people say. Those many people were liars they didn't know any better as I grief thinking be a gay is sin for those who told me made me wonder. I asked my mom would if my brother would be gay knowing I was referring to me. The silence was loud enough for me. At that moment my mother already took too long to answer. I knew the answer before she said. My mom was always there for me; she supported me when she needed to. I didn't know if I was bi, straight or gay. I would not classify me as queer. I always had an answer to everything and it's hard to accept what I am if I can't come to any conclusions. Here are songs suppressing pain and enlightening my love for a girl. My moments in a song and my songs are my moments I would never think I would ever write a word that will ever even a little bit explain how I feel. My feeling is worth a thousand words but my words are just minor just like me. Katy Perry - I kissed a girl I like it, “Lost my discretion. It's not what I'm used to (used to). Just wanna try you on. I'm curious for you (for you). Caught my attention. I kissed a girl and I liked it. The taste of her cherry chapstick. I kissed a girl just to try it”.Doja cat - Kiss me more, “We hug and yes, we make love, And always just say "Goodnight" (la-la-la-la-la), And we cuddle, sure I do love it.But I need your lips on mine. Can you kiss me more? We're so young, boy. We ain't got nothin' to lose, oh, oh”. Kehlani - Distraction,“Do you, do you, do you, do you wanna be.Do me a favor, pick me up, take me out later. Don't worry about no paper. 'Cause I got mine stacked up for nights like this. My life can get crazy, I deal with shit on the daily. But baby I'm thinking maybe. We could agree to work it out like this. I need you (you, oh). To give me your time (give me your time). I need you (you, oh).To not wanna be mine oh”. Giveon - Like I want you, “Sometimes I wish you knew. But I disguise the truth. I say I'm happy but I'm still stuck on us, mmm, mmm, mmm. Does your mind play this game too? Think 'bout me and you. I guess I'll just pretend. Until it all makes sense, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. See you face to face, I'm thinking 'bout the days we used to be. But I can't make a scene, but I can't make a scene. See you face to face, I'm thinking 'bout the days we used to be. But I can't make a scene, but I can't make it seem.” Tylor the creator - See you again, “You exist behind my eyelids, my eyelids.Now I don't wanna wake up. 20/20, 20/20 vision. Cupid hit me, cupid hit me with precision. I wonder if you look both ways. When you cross my mind (Yeah), I said, I said. I'm sick of, sick of, sick of, sick of chasing. You're the one that's always running through my daydream, I, I can only see your face when I close my eyes. Can I get a kiss? And can you make it last forever? I said I'm 'bout to go to war. And I don't know if I'll see you again. Can I get a kiss? (Can I). And can you make it last forever? (Can you). I said I'm 'bout to go to war.” On repeat on a daily basis, one of my favorite songs. I want more but then I leave because I'm indecisive but can't wait to see her again. Her intelligence and her touch is like a spark to the brain and my heart. Speak out aloud for existence. I am gay and that is final.