My boyfriend Had A Girlfriend

Being single is a habit of mine.

Maybe I'm addicted to the dating apps, or perhaps somehow my soul knows that the right man will come along at the right time. Either way, OKCupid is one of the oldest accounts I have. This profile goes all the way back before they monetized to within an inch of being legitimate.

Back when this situation started, OKCupid still showed you who was looking at your profile. Aaron identified as straight on his profile but looked at mine. I wrote it off as him accidentally clicking on it.

The next day, he viewed my profile again. Weird, but it was possible that since I looked at his, he wanted to check mine out. Again, I brushed it off and thought that maybe I was looking too far into things. He was straight and this was just going to stop.

But it didn't.

On the third day, he looked at my profile again. This time, there was no denying that something was up. Deciding to take an action, I reached out to him and confronted the issue head on. I said that I knew he identified as straight but kept looking at my page and wanted to say hi.

Aaron answered that he was bi-curious and thought that I was cute. We flirted via the website for a while before exchanging numbers. After that, we text every day, as often as we could.

It didn't take long for us to agree to meet up.

First Time Together

Aaron came over to my house and the first thing he did was kiss me. I was taken by surprise. It was more than welcome, but I hadn't expected him to be so forward, since he claimed that he hadn't been with another guy before.

We got into my place and continued to kiss. It felt natural. The chemistry between us crackled. Our bodies fit together like two puzzle pieces. There was something special happening.

He felt it too.

As we lay in each other's arms, each confessed that there was something more than a one-night stand between us. But given that he still identified as heterosexual, it lent a problem to our circumstances. I wasn't going to move forward as his secret, and he wasn't going to come out just for me.

We landed on being friends with benefits. It wasn't an eloquent solution, and neither of us were particularly happy with it. Yet, it allowed us to continue hanging out and enjoying one another's company without the pressures of a relationship.

But as these stories often go, it turned out to not be a good enough solution.

The more time we spent together, the deeper our feelings got. I tried to cover them up, tried to pretend that they weren't there. So did he. But neither of us was successful at it.

When I was asked on a date by another guy, I jumped at the chance. Maybe if I was able to find a spark with someone else, the situationship I found myself in would come to a natural conclusion.

While I was out, Aaron text asking if he could come over. I explained that I was on a date, and he was outraged, saying that I should have known he wanted to come over.

Apparently, I should have also known he was dating someone else.

The Revelation

After the blow up about my date, Aaron and I cooled off a bit. Instead of texting every day, we went to talking a couple of times a week. He still came over, and the chemistry was still there, but there was also an anger burning in both of us.

Finally, I confronted it head on. I asked him why he was angry that I went out with someone else, when he was the one who didn't want a monogamous relationship because he wasn't out. He countered that I had turned down a request to be together but wouldn't be kept a secret, which he felt was equally unfair.

Undeterred, I asked if he wanted to end the arrangement. His response was to kiss me and hold me tighter than I have ever been held in my life. When we pulled away, I noticed that there were tears in his eyes.

"Can we please date one another exclusively, without putting a title on it? At least for now," he asked. It seemed to be a fair compromise, so I agreed.

Our first time as an exclusive non-couple still rates as one of the best times in bed that I've ever had. Both of us wanted to make sure the other orgasmed and smiled as we cuddled.

Things went back to the way they had been, texts were exchanged every day. Aaron would come over two or three times a week, as much as he could, without letting his other obligations go.

One night, he intended to come over, but had to stop at a fundraiser for the church his family went to. As it turned out, I had friends at the same function because they had a friend who went to the same church.

Then a text came that changed everything: Aaron is dating Violet.

Spoiling For A Breakup

I asked what that meant. Sometimes, people mistake me for dating a woman and wanted to give Aaron the benefit of doubt. The response came in the form of a picture that showed the two of them draped over one another.

Even the picture didn't prove that they were dating. I've hung on friends before, and it was nothing more than a joke. Still, it was enough for me to text him and ask what was going on.

There was no answer. His silence told me everything that I needed to know. Fury built up in me. When he decided to show his face, I was going to give him whatfor.

As it turned out, I didn't need to do so. Violet saw my text and asked our mutual friends about it. They informed her that Aaron was dating me and everyone else seemed to know about it. She was stunned and confronted him in the middle of the restaurant.

He confessed that he was dating me.

As the story was relayed to me, I felt bad for him. What he did was wrong, but being outed was not the right punishment. Especially since he faced being homeless if his parents reacted badly or worse.

When he came to see me, the conversation was short and sweet. I dumped him on the spot

Aftermath

Years later, he found me on social media and asked if I lived in New York. When I said I did, he asked to take me to dinner. I agreed.

We met at one of my favorite Italian places. He greeted me with one of those kisses that had me head over heels for him previously. Once we were seated, we discussed how life had changed for us.

That's when he informed me that he had a long-term boyfriend. Before I had a chance to get angry, he told me that his boyfriend knew that we would probably end up in bed. In fact, it was his hope that all three of us would be together.

I declined.

The attraction was still there, but I wasn't about to go down the route that I had a feeling he wanted to go down. Instead, I told him that I was happy he found someone and had started a new life away from the drama.

When he asked me if I was seeing someone, I just smiled. I was seeing myself for the first time.

And I liked who I saw.