Lost Island

Dani had lost count of the number of times she'd walked the dingy back hallways of the mall. She thought she knew every stain, each crack in the cheap tile floor, all of the exits and backdoors. Despite her supposed familiarity with the area, she had to admit it.

She was lost.

She’d taken the trash out after closing the bookshop, just like she always did. She must have taken a different turn when she came back inside from the dumpster. She hadn't been paying all that much attention to where she was going. After all these years, she didn’t think she had to.

The hallways behind the North Valley Mall all looked the same--the ugly linoleum persisted throughout the employee areas. No need to spend money on sections only lowly minimum-wage workers would see!

Dani still had a few more tasks to complete before she could leave for the night. She loved her job–she got to talk about books all day and her coworkers were quirky in that niche-nerd kind of way. Her manager accommodated her school schedule by letting her close during the week so she could attend classes in the morning. In fact, she had a Geology class early the following day, and she very much wanted to get some sleep in before then.

She should have been able to turn around and go back the way she came, but she'd done so at least fifteen minutes ago and things were still not quite right.

They seemed markedly...wrong.

It wasn’t that she minded being in the mall alone–she loved coming in early when she opened on the weekends before the crowds of patrons streamed in and ruined the peace of the empty spaces. At night, however, the hallways took on an eerie countenance--the living were no longer welcomed amongst the sleeping objects and shadowed corners.

She stopped next to a pay phone. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen a functioning payphone. Stranger still, it began to ring as she passed.

It almost sounded like it was ringing…backwards.

She should have let it ring out–she had better things to do at that moment (like getting out of this place). Instead, she approached the phone, entranced.

“Hello?”

“Congratulations! You have won a fabulous trip to Poina Island!” chirped an overly-excited voice on the other end of the line.

“I’m sorry, who is this?” Dani asked as she felt her brow furrow.

“My name is Molly, and I am offering whoever answers this phone call an all-expenses-paid trip to tropical paradise! Would you be interested in something like that?”

“Well, of course I would, if this wasn’t clearly a scam,” Dani responded, voice dry as desert sand.

“Oh, this isn’t a scam, Dani. We’ve been looking for you!”

“Um…excuse me? How do you know my name?”

“Don’t worry about that! All you have to do is agree to our Terms and Conditions,” the woman said with a laugh.

“I’m hanging up now. Goodbye,” Dani slammed the receiver onto the cradle. Something fluttered strangely in her stomach.

She looked up to find an exit sign she hadn’t noticed on the other side of the hallway, and a door she’d missed. She could loop around to the main mall entrance and finish up closing the store. She let out a nervous laugh as she pushed through the door.

***

Dani’s long, floral-print sundress flowed around her legs as she walked along the beach. She gazed out at the shimmering crystal waters that surrounded Poina Island. The air was heavy with humidity–so different from the dry desert air she was accustomed to. The whole island took on a hazy, sepia-toned aura, as though she were walking through someone else’s memory. She closed her eyes and listened to the rhythmic lapping of the waves, breathing in the salty-sweet air.

Molly, their host, was gathering the other contest winners together. They seemed to be the only guests at the hotel at the moment–in fact, they were the only people on the tiny island, aside from the hotel staff. Molly's voice seemed suspiciously familiar--in fact, she sounded exactly like the person Dani had spoken to on the phone.

“Hello, everyone, and welcome to the beautiful Hali’a Hotel! I hope you’re all settling in! I wanted to give you time to get to know each other before we serve dinner. When I ring this bell, find a partner and tell each other your names, where you're from, and an interesting fact about yourself. And, GO!”

Dani shuddered internally as Molly rang the bell. She suddenly regretted all of her life decisions.

“Hi!” Dani came face-to-face with deep brown eyes and a dazzling smile, “My name is Ayla, I’m from Newark, New Jersey, and I play lacrosse!”

Dani’s was struggling to remember her own name as she stared into Ayla’s umber eyes.

“Um, I’m Dani, I’m from Phoenix, Arizona, and I work at a bookstore,” she finally managed to spit out.

“Oh, that’s so cool! I bet you get to read so many books! What’s your favorite?”

“Yeah, I guess it’s cool…uh, favorite book is, uh...Lord of the Rings is close to my heart.”

“I LOVE Lord of the Rings! I read the whole series when I was a kid!” Ayla’s eyes sparkled as she spoke.

“Me, too! I’ve read it a couple of times, it’s my comfort book!” Dani responded. She couldn’t believe how well the conversation was going.

Dani jumped as Molly’s bell cut through the din of chatter.

“All right, everyone! Find your next partner!” Molly piped. In that moment, Dani imagined doing horrible things to Molly with that bell.

“Great talking to you! See you around!” Ayla waved as she moved on to the next person. Dani waved back, trying not to show her crushing disappointment.

“Hello,” a...person stood in front of Dani. Dani could not figure out the person’s gender. They had short-cropped hair, grey-blue eyes, and wore a loose-fitting Hawiian-style shirt. Dani was surprised at how envious she was of their androgynous style.

“I’m Nye. I’m from Denver, and I’m a writer.”

“Hi, Nye! My name is Dani, I’m from Phoenix, and I work at a bookstore.”

“Is that all?” Nye asked–not in a rude way, but more out of curiosity.

“What do you mean?” Dani stuttered.

“Is that all you are? I don’t think it is. That’s what you do for other people. Why do you work at a bookstore?” Nye replied.

“Well…I love to read….” Dani said before she trailed off, contemplating.

“Why?” Nye probed.

“Because…because reading takes you to another world. I can picture everything in my head–the world, the characters, how they sound. I forget who I am for a moment and I can just be part of the fantasy. That’s why I, um…”

“Why what?” Nye said with an intense look on their face.

“Why I wanted to be a writer. I wanted to give that experience to other people,” Dani looked down, “But…”

“But what?” Nye was not letting her off the hook.

“I could never finish anything. I get distracted, or stuck on a part, and I give up. I’m way too easily discouraged to be a writer.”

“No, you’re not,” Nye said, firmly.

“I’m…sorry?” Dani replied.

“Don’t apologize. You are…you could be a very good writer. You just have to stick to it. Start small, set goals.”

“How would you know?” Dani asked.

“Because that’s what I did,” Nye replied.

Molly’s bell came as a relief to Dani this time. She didn’t say goodbye to Nye, she simply turned to find the next new face.

***

Dani stared up at the mosquito-net canopy. Her skin was still warm from her shower, and her belly was full from the dinner she'd enjoyed. She should have asked Ayla more questions about herself, whether or not she was in school, what she did for work, what in the world ‘lacrosse’ was. She was pretty sure it was a sport…or maybe a form of knitting? Dani had tried to talk to Ayla during dinner, but she'd chickened out. The conversation with Nye was still bothering her as well. What was their deal, anyway?

There was a knock at the door. Nye was standing in the doorway, almost as though they’d heard Dani’s thoughts.

“Hey. I know I was a little…intense earlier,” they said.

“No, it’s okay, I’m sorry I didn’t ask you more questions,” Dani said with a laugh.

“It’s not okay, and stop apologizing,” Nye said, gently, “May I come in?”

“Uh…sure,” Dani said, not sure at all.

“Thank you,” Nye said as they stepped inside, “You don’t have to agree to things that make you uncomfortable, but I appreciate it.”

“I’m sorry but…can I ask you a question?”

“Of course! I’ve already asked you plenty of personal questions!”

“Are you…a man or a woman?”

“Neither. I’m non-binary,” Nye answered.

“OH! That’s awesome,” Dani said, then cringed.

“I know, you never realized that was an option,” Nye said, smiling.

“I…guess not,” Dani replied, “How…"

“Look, I need to tell you something,” Nye said, suddenly serious.

“Oh, okay...?”

“Your family will still love you when they know the truth.”

“Wha…” the air grew thick as Dani struggled to breathe, “How would you know?”

“Because I’m you, twenty years from now,” Nye replied.

“Is this a joke?” Dani wiped away angry tears.

“No. This island is separated from the stream of time. The things I am telling you now are the things I wish I’d known sooner. I can’t tell you how we got here–you’ll figure that out eventually.”

“So what, you traveled back in time just to tell me to be honest?”

“Yes. Dani, I...we wasted so much time lying to everyone around us about who we are. We bent over backwards thinking we didn't deserve to be our true selves. I promise they will still love you when they know you’re queer.”

“I…I don’t understand…” Dani whispered.

“I know you don’t,” Nye said, and wrapped their arms around Dani, “Try to, anyway. We can live a better life.”

Touching Nye felt like the tingling pins-and-needles sensation of a waking limb. Dani was at once comforted and yet repulsed. Nye let go and stepped back, holding Dani at arm’s length with that same tingling touch.

“I have to go. Please remember what I’ve said,” Dani sagged as they let go of her shoulders. They turned abruptly and walked out the door, closing it firmly behind them.

Dani had about a billion questions. She rushed to the door and yanked it open…

***

…and was hit in the face with the glaring flare of fluorescent lights. She barely caught herself from running face-first into the whitewashed brick wall. She turned around to see the open door of a janitor’s supply closet.

“But…wha…?” She was in the same unfamiliar hallway of the mall, but the payphone and exit sign were gone. The heavy odor of bleach and lemon-scented cleaning supplies twisted her stomach. She braced herself against the cold brick.

It had all seemed so real. What had Nye told her? The island was separate from the stream of time? Or had she hallucinated the whole thing? She'd felt the warm, wet sand between her toes, tasted the delicate flavors of the dinner they'd served, smelled the briny sea...

She drove home in a daze. She caught her reflection in the rear-view mirror and realized her eyes were the same cool gray-blue as Nye's.

She found her mom doing dishes in the kitchen.

"Hey, Mom. Can I talk to you?"

"Oh hey, honey. Of course," her mom left the rest of the dishes in the sink to join Dani at the kitchen table.

Dani's chest tightened. What if Nye was wrong? Her vision blurred.

"Sweetheart, what is it? You know you can tell me anything. I will love you no matter what."

Rogue tears slipped down Dani's face. She closed her eyes and heard waves, and an encouraging voice.

She took a breath…