LGBTQ Pride Through an Asian Gay Man's Lens

Picture this: I’m sitting in a bustling dim sum restaurant, a steaming basket of dumplings on the table, when my cousin suddenly asks, "What exactly is Pride?" Silence descends as every family member turns their gaze toward me, the only openly gay man in our traditional Asian family. As I open my mouth to answer, I feel a flurry of emotions — anticipation, nervousness, and excitement. I realize, this is my moment to make Pride relatable to them, through humor, personal experiences, and yes, a ton of food metaphors.

Pride is Like a Feast

First, I equate Pride to a lavish feast. A feast is not just about enjoying delicious food, it's also about celebrating unity, prosperity, and traditions. Similarly, Pride is not just about parades and rainbow flags, it's a celebration of love, equality, and identity. My grandfather, a man who judges events based on the quality of food served, chuckles at this, stating that any feast involving dim sum would be a celebration he'd happily attend.

Pride is Our Red Envelope

Next, I compare Pride to the red envelopes, or 'hong bao', we receive during Lunar New Year. These envelopes, filled with money, symbolize good luck and blessings. Pride, for Asian gay men like me, is our red envelope from the universe. It's a blessing, filled with acceptance and self-love, that we gift ourselves. It's about accepting who we are and celebrating our unique journey, much like the blessings of a new year. My aunt, a stickler for tradition, nods thoughtfully, holding a mental red envelope in her hand.

Pride is Our Dragon Dance

I then describe Pride as our dragon dance. Just as the dragon dance requires many individuals moving in sync to create a beautiful, powerful display, Pride is about unity and collective strength. It's a vibrant display of resilience and solidarity, reminding us that we're not alone. My younger cousins, who’ve grown up watching dragon dances during local festivals, gasp at this comparison, their eyes sparkling with newfound understanding.

Pride is Our Mooncake

At this point, my mom chimes in, "So, Pride is like a mooncake?" I'm taken aback but realize she's onto something. Mooncakes, a staple during the Mid-Autumn Festival, represent unity and completeness. I reply, "Exactly, Mom! Pride, for Asian gay men, is like our mooncake. It embodies unity within the community, the completeness of accepting our whole selves, and the sweetness that comes with living our truth.” Mom's happy with her accurate guess, and the table buzzes with laughter.

Pride is Our Lotus Lantern

Lastly, I equate Pride to our lotus lanterns. These lanterns, symbolizing enlightenment and purity in Buddhism, guide us through darkness. Similarly, Pride serves as a beacon of hope and positivity for Asian gay men, often navigating societal pressures and expectations. It lights the path towards acceptance, freedom, and love. My traditionally devout grandparents appreciate this comparison, their faces softening with empathy and understanding.

By the end of the conversation, I could see a change in my family's expressions. Their faces, initially marked by confusion and skepticism, are now filled with understanding and compassion. The image of Pride they had - a loud, unfamiliar, Western concept - is now replaced with a kaleidoscope of familiar Asian symbols, each celebrating unity, acceptance, and self-expression. They understand that Pride, for me and many Asian gay men, is not just a parade, but a personal and communal journey of love, acceptance, and self-celebration.

I leave the restaurant that day with a heart full of gratitude and a lighter step. That was a Pride parade of its own kind, right there at the dim sum restaurant, nestled between soup dumplings and sweet mooncakes.

Being an Asian gay man can sometimes feel like constantly navigating between different worlds, each with its own set of expectations and norms. But moments like these remind me that the beauty of being us is precisely in this unique journey. It's in infusing our heritage into our Pride, stir-frying our queer identities with the spices of our Asian roots, and finding humor, warmth, and acceptance in unexpected places. So, the next time someone asks you, "What does Pride mean to Asian gay men?" remember, it's a feast, a red envelope, a dragon dance, a mooncake, and a lotus lantern, all wrapped up in a fabulous, rainbow-colored package.