Lessons That Pride Parades Taught Me

Greetings, Vocal readers and also to my wonderful subscribers. I want to say thanks to the people on Vocal for making my Baseball Is for Everyone story among the Top Stories for the month of January. I'm grateful for that honor and it only motivates me to write and publish more stories. For this story, I'll be sharing a few lessons that Pride parades have taught me. Before I get into that, I want to share a bit about myself to those who aren't familiar with who I am.

February 20, 2012: a day that was filled with fear and excitement for me at the same time. I was attending a vocational school at the time and it was my turn to work as a library assistant that day. The reason why I mentioned this day is because that was the day I finally came out as a gay man. While many people disowned me, others were happy for me. I was tired of having to hide my true self from everyone. I was 24 at the time and that moment felt so great, because I had friends that were understanding and accepting of me. This year, I'll be celebrating 13 years since my coming out moment.

I grew up in Arlington, Texas, which is west of Dallas. I'm the oldest of three children. I have a younger brother and young sister. While most parts of my childhood were exciting, unfortunately, I had parents that were physically and verbally abusive towards me. They didn't treat me with the love or respect I was longing for. Being myself was something they didn't allow me to do. I was subjected to not only verbal and physical attacks, but periods of not feeling wanted and them being emotionally unavailable at times. Also, I was diagnosed with Autism at a young age. It was almost like they blamed me for being born with an intellectual disability that I didn't ask for. They lacked patience with me. It's not to say that I was a bad kid, but I wasn't perfect either. This cycle of abuse continued until I left for college.

I knew that I liked guys dating back to the first grade. This was the 90s, at a time when being gay was a taboo subject. For nearly 20 years, I had to hide my true self and feelings from my friends, parents, teachers, and relatives. I came out in 2012, but eight years later, I finally came out to my now estranged parents in an open letter I wrote, which I'll link down below. In that letter, I sent them one final message and shared how I felt about them treating me horribly. Let's just say that it didn't go well and my "mother" wasn't pleased that I called her out. She loves to play the victim when someone calls her out for her wrongdoings, and it was about time that I had to put her in her place. I stood up to her and for myself for the first time, because I was tired of her belittling and bullying me. I glad that I didn't delete my open letter, because I wanted to share it with my followers to expose this woman for who she really was. On top of that, I cut my young sister out of my life because she was making excuses for our parents' toxic behavior. In my estranged parents' logic, having a gay son would've been embarrassing to them. They'd rather have a deceased gay son than a living one. One thing to note: my estranged parents were born in Liberia, which is located in West Africa. They came to the United States as children and I was born in this country. Just because your parents are from another country or continent, it's never acceptable in any circumstance to abuse a child. I've been estranged from them for 14 years and have no interest in reconciling with them. African parents don't take any responsibility for their actions. It's always everyone else's fault. I don't expect an apology from them anytime soon and I can accept that, since they love being professional victims. To further distance myself from those horrible people, in 2022, I decided that I wanted to go by my middle name, which is Wesley. It has a nice ring to it and prefer it over Mark. I'm considering changing my last name to further distance myself from the toxic family I no longer wanted any part of, but I haven't decided on that yet.

I apologize for the long intro. Now, back to the lessons Pride parades has taught me.

1. Belonging: In 2016, four years after I came out, I was invited by a former friend to the local Pride parade. When we arrived downtown, it started to rain for a brief period then stopped and the parade went on as usual. I may not have received the love or affection from my estranged parents growing up, but I've met so many people, and they were so kind. It felt good that there's people who care and are there to make others feel loved and valued. I've been residing in a college town that's LGBTQ+ friendly for the last several years and it's a wonderful area. It's so diverse and people from all walks of life live here.

2. We are who we are: Sure, we might get some Christians who dislike us for whatever reason at these Pride parades and events, but we turn that hate into love. We remind them and everyone else that we aren't going anywhere and we're here to stay. Hate will never win and love will always overcome that. Also, I've learned the importance of using the correct pronouns towards people. I use he/him pronouns, in case you were wondering. While many Conservatives would tout that there's only two genders, your gender is not theirs to decide. Using proper pronouns towards someone is not an attack toward your personal beliefs or making you less of a human being. It's all about showing respect for that person. Yes, we have a heartless, racist, and bigoted commander-in-chief in the White House who still acts like a toddler, but going back into the closet will never be part of our plan.

3. Community: Finally, the picture seen for this story was from Northwest Arkansas Pride 2022. I chose that image, because this is what Pride is truly about. It about making our voices louder, even when those who have a huge disdain of us, want to silence us. Opponents ask why there isn't a Straight Pride. It's because straight people already have many rights and don't face any kind of discrimination. As for us, we've been fighting for the same rights as everyone else for decades. All we're asking is to be treated equally and fairly in all accommodations and aspects. The governor in Arkansas last year tried unsuccessfully of banning drag. She claimed it was to "protect children." I'm glad she didn't go through with that ban. News flash: Drag is entertainment and a form of expression. When we come together as a community to push back against bigotry, turning hate into action makes a difference. Last year was the 20th anniversary of Northwest Arkansas Pride. I was there and so grateful to have been part of this important milestone.

Why are Pride parades improtant? It's because we advocate for those who are unable to speak or stand up for themselves. It allows us to be ourselves in supportive and loving communities. Also, they exist to educate others about LGBTQ+ individuals and to raise awareness. Pride parades are for everyone to enjoy. Whether you're living in New York or Dallas, Pride parades bring people together and also makes them feel welcomed and included. They originated from the Stonewall riots of 1969. The attacks on our freedoms from Conservative politicians are still present today, but it's important that we raise our voices and take a stand against policies and laws that harm us. People like Harvey Milk and Marsha P. Johnson helped shaped our movement. You don't have to love or like us, but we're asking you to treat us with dignity and respect. In the words of Harvey Milk, "Hope will never be silent."

What was your first Pride event like? Did you make any friends there? Finally, if you has one piece of advice to someone who isn't out to anyone, what would you tell them. Be sure to leave your comments down below. Subscribe to my page on here. Follow me on my socials. Finally, like this story and please leave a generous one-off tip. It'll be found at the end of this story. Big or small, your tips will support creators like me so we can keep publishing new stories and share them with everyone.

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