"He" isn't me.
It feels closer than "she,"
But, like, still not being seen.
You know when someone gets your name wrong
And you don't correct them?
What does it matter?
It's just a name.
Surely, they don't respect you less
Because your name didn't stick,
Or they heard something else.
Why does mistaking pronouns feel like more of a slight?
More of an intentional oversight?
What is so special about gender
That we have made it essential to our understanding of people?
To our understanding of ourselves?
The veil of identity is seen through the lens
Of gender.
We aren't parents; we're mothers or fathers.
We aren't children; we're sons or daughters.
From our careers to our families,
And every hobby and belief in between,
We shade our behaviors, definitions, and imaginations
To blend cleanly into a gendered fold.
Even our allowance of gender expansion
Relies on binary modes of thinking. Not "he" or "she,"
But "they." Not masculine
Or feminine,
But androgynously embodying the two,
Or devoid of both.
There was a time when (due to looks)
I was exclusively a woman.
A time when I caused confusion.
Now, a time when I must only be a man.
Aware of my energy, still, but in new ways.
MAKE IT NEW!
Pound's misappropriated rallying cry for modernity
Is still compelling as aesthetic critique.
I am new and ancient.
Forged by the contemporary
Gospel of tolerance.
Informed by the history
Of those who threw bricks
At pigs.
Caught in the middle.
Fearful from the before,
Feared in the after.
Trans-masculine.
About the Creator
kp
I am a non-binary, trans-masc writer. I work to dismantle internalized structures of oppression, such as the gender binary, class, and race. My writing is personal but anecdotally points to a larger political picture of systemic injustice.
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Comments (5)
*mic drop* this is incredible! Just captures so much about identity and the struggles of it in society! "a time when I caused confusion" felt that! (and still feel it sometimes!) 🩷
“I am new and ancient” really hit me. Stunning depiction of the intricacies and complexities of gender identity!
Gosh this. This. “But, like, still not being seen.” - trying on pronouns like hats. Some fly away in the wind on a bad day. Some fit too tight and hurt our head. Some too loose.
-I am new and ancient. Forged by the contemporary Gospel of tolerance.- That line surely opened my eyes and gave me pause, as it should have. Great piece, kp. Take a bow! ✍🏽✍🏽✍🏽😍
Excellent piece