I knew I was bisexual when I was 10...

Suppressing my bisexuality felt like my ten year old self frozen in my body with her fingers in her ears, and her eyes screwed closed tight whispering "nope.nope.nope.nope".

I knew I was bi when I was 10, and the moment I opened my mouth the world came rushing at me screaming “ABSOLUTELY NOT!”⁣

…and so I locked it down. ⁣⁣

I learned quickly that this part of me was not “safe”, was not “okay”, and would NOT be loved & accepted. ⁣

From the moment I found out girls could marry girls (𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘚𝘖 𝘌𝘟𝘊𝘐𝘛𝘐𝘕𝘎, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘚𝘌𝘕𝘚𝘌 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘮𝘦!), and I told my friend on the 4th grade playground that I wanted to marry her, I was ripped to shreds. ⁣⁣

My little self felt things so deeply, and what was said that day ripped into my soul like knives and left me shredded and bleeding, so confused about what had just happened...didn't everyone feel this way? I was excited, my world suddenly making sense, yet my peers made me feel shameful, gross, wrong.

It wasn't until I was 31 and finally owned my truth tat I finally came out. In that, I came to realize that, as an adult, just coming out isn't enough alone.

I had inner child healing to do…⁣

⁣👧🏼 Little 10 year old me can still hear the taunts on the playground echoing in her head: “gross”, “disgusting”, “what’s WRONG with you!?”, “get away from us”. She needs to be held, seen, and to develop her trust in our truth and the knowledge that we can be loved for all that we are. That we DESERVE love, and acceptance, no matter what some close minded kids (and even adults) think & say.⁣

💜 15 year old me is still sitting in the pew of her Catholic Church holding a pamphlet on why gay marriage is wrong, with a letter Father Ed wanted us to sign and send our governor saying the same burning in her hands. They had been left out every few feet for everyone who came to mass that day…and in that moment she knew her true self would never be welcome there. She needs to know that God doesn’t hate her, and that she is welcome to connect to, and will always be supported by, the divine, the Universe, the Goddess, whoever she desires, even if she is dating a woman. ⁣

😘 20 year old me is still trying to pretend that Katy Perry isn’t singing her go d d a m n truth every time that catchy AF song comes on 🤣⁣

⁣🤔 25-year old me is still trying to deny that girl on girl porn turns her on

😵‍💫 29 year old me is withering away and dying inside because now it wasn’t just this one truth she was denying…it was everything, && she couldn’t live like that anymore. When she started to untangle herself from who she thought she SHOULD be, everything came tumbling out, until 2 years later she realized what her ten year old self had shoved down so far it festered and brought everything else that she “shouldn’t be” down with it. ⁣

⁣

Realizing it⁣

Admitting it⁣

Opening up about it⁣

Those are just the first steps 💜 then the deep work comes, and while it may be emotional as hell, it’s worth every second to reconnect and send unconditional love, acceptance, and trust to every past version of yourself that didn’t have what she needed at the time.

⁣

This intense suppression of self is one of the places where anxiety gets a foothold and wreaks havoc. The self acceptance journey to heal yourself, heal anxiety, and become the unique, inner Iconic, Radiant Bad Bitch that only YOU can be is full of magic if you allow it to be!

⁣

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘶𝘭𝘵, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘐𝘚 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭 ⁣

⁣

I see you⁣

I feel you⁣

I am you⁣

Let’s heal, and grow, and step into our most authentic selves together. ⁣