I fell through his bedroom floor!

My life, for as long as I can remember has always had a random moment out of nowhere. Usually embarrassing moments and definitely “only me” moments.

I use to sit and analyse my life. Try and think what caused it, or how can I avoid things like this in the future. I never really got an answer because my life would be going steadily and something crazy would happen out of nowhere. I’ve learned to embrace them as the universe’s way of shaking things up a bit for me when I need it.

When it came to my love life, I always felt like something was missing. ( I now know it’s because I am a lesbian 😂) I dated frequently to try and find what was missing or figure out why I couldn’t feel any connections. I thought I had to practice having sex to enjoy it. I remember my first relationship where I had plucked up the courage and confessed that I do not enjoy sex and he told me “ you’re new to this, that’s normal, the more you have sex you will start to enjoy it” I started to hate sex and believed that it was really made for men and all the straight females I spoke to were lying to themselves because they had to.

I had a therapist at the time and I asked her to be honest with me about sex. After a long conversation I realised it was just the wrong person and I needed to find that connection.

That’s when the serial dating started.

Countless dates, meeting people and it was just not working, I could not feel that connection.

A had a male friend at the time , and we made plans to catch up and see a movie. We were good friends and always had fun together, when I got home that night I thought maybe that’s what I’m doing wrong - we need to be friends first.

The next evening he called and asked if I wanted to come round and watch a movie at his and listen to some of his new music. I agreed.

Getting ready and I thought this is the moment I’m going to take and I’m going to see if there is a connection. I got an Uber there and he took me to the living room, I suggested we chill in his room instead and of course he agreed. He did let me know that he was current redecorating his room and the flooring had been ripped up. When I got into his room I saw what he meant , it was just the bare wooden floorboards before any type of flooring is put on top. Two hours later while searching for another movie I went to the bathroom to amp myself up to make the first move. I need to let you know that I have always been plus sized. I spoke out loud to myself “ you are going to go in there and make that move” I waited for a sign that Shouldn’t do this, a feeling or a twitch - but nothing. I was going to do this.

I walked into his bedroom and about 4 steps in I fell through his bedroom floor into the living room. The first feeling I felt was pain, strong pain. I looked up and suddenly realised what had happened when I saw my friend looking at me through what was now a hole in his bedroom floor. An overwhelming rush of embarrassment filled my whole entire body and I quickly got up and left his house. I power walked in the opposite direction of where I needed to go, about 4 minutes after walking I booked an Uber.

My left leg was in a lot of pain and my tail bone. I knew I would wake up stiff tomorrow.

I got into the Uber and at that point my friend was trying to call me. I immediately put my phone on airplane mode. Shortly after I realised my leg was bleeding. I got home, took painkillers, showered and wrapped the wound on my leg In clingfilm (till this day I don’t know why)

When I woke up in the morning I immediately went to my grandmother , who was a retired doctor and asked her to clean it up for me. She did not ask any questions because I have a history of falling over and hurting myself pretty badly from being clumsy.

She applied a dressing and did let me know she will keep an eye on it as I may need stitches.

I still have that scar till this day 6 years later.

I did speak to my friend again 2 years later but I did not mention it and neither did he so I do not know what happened after I left.

I definitely think that was the universes way of telling me to stop being eager and go home.

Lesson learned.