Gender is a Performance

It's not too much of a stretch to make the claim that people under the transgender umbrella give their gender far more thought than the average cis person. Transgender people spend years and thousands of dollars on adjusting their presentation to match their gender, but gender is something that everybody has so what's up with the backlash towards transgender people lately then? A lot of the reasons cisgender people give for not supporting transgender rights is that they don't understand how it works, they can't fathom someone putting themselves through years of medical work just to feel comfortable in their body and I honestly get it. It can be pretty overwhelming when someone you love comes out as transgender because it may feel sudden or like you suddenly have to change everything you know about that person but I want to try and give another way to look at the concept of "gender" as a whole.

We as a human race have categorized the entire species into one set of genitals or the other, plus or minus a few organs and hormones but in the grand scheme of things there are way more influences in life that create the personality of a person. Gender presentation is a man made concept, as obviously animals don't have the ability to adorn their body with clothing and jewelry the way that humans do in order to tell the world "yes, I have this set of genitals!" (see: wedding dresses vs suits, delicate jewelry vs chunky 'masculine' jewelry) So what's up with that? Every day you wake up and choose to present the world a certain image about yourself. There are always intentions behind the way we present ourselves, like the way that pajamas and headphones at the grocery store are a clear "DON'T talk to me" or putting a little extra effort into your makeup and outfits for a special occasion to tell the world that you do actually care about the occasion because you spent time to look nice for it. Gender is the same way.

I'm a very firm believer in giving your gender a critical look every year or so in order to just make sure you're still comfortable in your body. I personally identify as agender which means I don't associate with the concept of gender, but every year I give myself a good look over just to make sure I'm still happy with it because that's the thing, identity is SO malleable. There are no rules saying you have to identify as the same thing for your entire life - in aspect of your personality! Nobody would get upset at you because you decided you don't like soccer after playing it for a few years as a kid, and it's not like it matters if you've decided that an author's shitty, transphobic views are enough to make you completely abandon the series that kept you sane throughout the nuances of childhood. There is no reason that gender should be any different. Imagine if every time you saw someone who used to play piano you asked them how their piano lessons were going and what songs they were working on now. That part of their life is over.

There are obviously quite a few things that we've conditioned ourselves to associate with a specific gender, such as suits and ties being for men, dresses and makeup for women, and the only thing holding us to these arbitrary rules are ourselves! You can wear whatever you want, you can present yourself to the world however you choose because at the end of the day you are the only person who knows what's going on in your head. Along with that, that means cisgender people need to leave transgender people alone about how they present themselves. Cisgender people are lucky to feel comfortable in their skin without feeling the need to change anything, and transgender people are just trying to feel comfortable in their bodies. We don't need cisgender people telling us that they know best.