Everything makes sense

For most of my life, I've never given relationships a lot of thought. I never knew why, just that it's never been a big priority in my life. Even when I thought of getting a boyfriend, the idea was always better. I never understood my friends when they talked about their crushes or boyfriends. Whenever I saw the people they found attractive, I could never see it. Then there's the obvious stuff on television and never understood why somebody would fall in love or pursue a person after only laying eyes on them. Or on reality TV when two people would hook up after knowing each other for only a few days.

It never really bothered anyone but people would be surprised when I tell them that I've never dated anyone. I never saw what the big deal was.

But up until very recently, I came across a term that explained everything and I've never been happier about it.

Now originally this began with looking into my sexuality. I found that I wasn't really attracted to anyone in that way, I already knew that that's what asexual is and I resonate with it fully.

But I curiously googled the difference between asexual and aromantic and during that search the term demiromantic popped up and it suddenly clicked.

Demiromantic is on the aromantic spectrum and it's when one feels romantic attraction only once they develop a strong emotional connection to someone.

I needed to make sure though before coming out as such but just knowing that there's a word for how I feel brings tears of joy. These are the signs that confirmed it.

1) I don't understand love at first sight

How do you look at somebody and decide that they're the one for you without knowing anything about them?

2) It takes more time for me

In a world where everyone is looking for a quick way, romance is something that should not be rushed. Even if we have a nice, engaging conversation, it takes way more of those for me to see you as a potential suitor.

3) I'm not bothered by being single

A lot of people tend to jump into relationships due to the "being single pressure", but being demiromantic I don't see why that's such a big deal. Having a partner is better as an idea in my head than in practice. Even if I am looking, I'm not one to jump into the dating scene right away or actively pursue someone.

4) Friendship is required first

I need to be your friend first before I can even consider dating a person. Not only that but I need to see if there's a connection, I have liked a friend in the past (it never went anywhere) and I would never have had feelings like that if I hadn't known them for a couple of years.

5) A relationship is not at the top of my list

As I've mentioned in the beginning, dating is not a high priority for me. I'm not in a rush to find a partner. If it happens then it happens. If it doesn't then it doesn't.

Since I discovered being demiromantic, I now understand why I could never relate to anyone else when they talked about their dating lives. It's still a surreal experience to have found a piece of myself I never knew was missing and I've never clicked with anything so fast before.

I am a proud Demiromantic Ace and I am not going back.