Aromantic Terminology and Me
These terms hold great meaning to the community and me. I wish I can find some of my own.
All the terminologies with being a part of the asexual community. QPR, squish, and zucchini. Each of them are things that I have my own thoughts on. All of which I’ll be rambling here in the most coherent way that I can. I do hope that this makes sense for you all.
Queer platonic relationship: Something that I have never had in my life. It is something that I have been reading about in fiction. But not for me. At least as far as I know it isn’t for me.
I want to want someone, but I don’t know in what sense. Being aromantic can make this utterly confusing. Along with being asexual. It further complicates what I really want. Or what I think I really want. And I really wish that I could ask someone about this.
Squish: This term is something that I have thought of a lot lately. I think I may have felt this at one point or another. Though I’m not sure if I confused it for a crush or not. When I was younger, I had no idea what aromantic was. Nor did I have a proper understanding of asexuality either.
The terminology was something that wasn’t exactly used nicely at all. Or was used for very ‘damaged’ or otherwise 'murderous' characters. Like Rorschach from ‘The Watchmen’. And if we really wish to get into it. Alastor? I suppose. I have no real understanding if he is that or not. I have never watched ‘Hazbin Hotel’.
Though I think he’s terrible representation if he is this.
Zucchini: A term of endearment for someone’s Queer Platonic Partner or their Quasi-Platonic Partner. It’s silly in my book. But I think it can really suit someone’s relationship very well. If that’s how they feel about each other. Possibly something I might call my own queer platonic partner if I ever get one. Though in all honesty I doubt I’m ever going to get one.
And I’m pretty sure that I’m fine with this. Right now, at the very least. There are moments that I have felt so cold inside that I hate it. Hate being aromantic and asexual. To the point that I wish I was just like everyone else in life. Be more like my trans woman co-worker.
With her loving partner and their adorable little family, they got together.
Other days I’m perfectly fine without any of that. Being an aromantic, asexual, and autistic trans man who’s single. It feels freeing and I feel that I should be focusing on myself. Focusing on healing myself from the crap that’s happened in my life. That there is no missing piece to me. There will never be a missing piece to me.
Yet I still don’t feel entirely whole.
It could be being aromantic, asexual, and transgender. Maybe finally being able to start HRT could help with the feeling of being incomplete. But the lonely feeling? I’m not entirely sure if that will go away even if I do start to transition. And I know everyone feels lonely every now and then. It is something you put up with and try to deal with. That it won’t last forever just like being sad won’t last forever.
Even if it feels like it will.
I wish I could find out all the answers in some guide. To understand just how I feel. But technically there aren’t. You can get some information from that and get on the right track. Several books that I possibly need to find and buy. I’m not entirely certain where exactly to buy it.
Maybe Amazon?
Or Wal-Mart?
I’ll keep looking on either of these websites as thoroughly as possible. I’ll find answers to my questions in one way or another. Even if I must scrounge through the whole internet and world to do so. I want to feel less like a lonely and cold shell of a person. I’ll do whatever it takes to feel like myself again.
About the Creator
Raphael Fontenelle
Horror movie fan trying to write decent horror.
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Comments (10)
Thank you for this article. I feel seen. I am everything you said besides Trans. I had never heard those terms before. If I ever find anyone, I will think of it as a companionship. Congrats on top story. Well deserved.
very nice content
This shows how much there is to learn as a person and society about our individual uniqueness regarding gender and sexuality. Although I am full of ignorance I hope you will write more on your journey. I had never heard of squish or zucchini in this sense nor do I understand the aroma referencing. I am not going to Google anything as I prefer to listen through words written directly from the PRIDE community. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability.
Congratulation on top story
keep up the spirit buddy, alone is not a mistake
I wish I had some answers, I wish I knew. I fall somewhere on the ace spectrum, and it causes some “troubles” every now and then. But there’s also this concept that society doesn’t like us to be aware of, and that’s the we deserve some grace 💜
Nice to read that pride.
I consider myself to be on the ace spectrum as well, but it's easier to just say I'm queer. It doesn't make much sense to other people, especially when they're not introduced to the vastness of the spectrum and see others in a heteronormative way. I don't try to get updated on the new terms added every time, I think some of them can be rather silly and repetitive. Thankfully, family and friends don't ask too much questions about my 'romantic' life. These questions can be vapid, and I find that most people only ever ask this to others if they're interested in a specific person, or as a conversation filler. Careful not to psychic drive yourself, though. Your conflicting feelings about asexuality may just be because you're discovering more about yourself and these terms are constricting rather than liberating you. Be cognizant of the changes, but don't limit yourself, your exploration, or your mind, just because you no longer fit in a word you once thought yourself to be. Best of luck with your transition!
Thanks for sharing this ... I am so far behind on so much terminology and the aromantic and asexual communities are so vastly underrepresented. on the subject of HRT - I certainly found it helped with that sense of finally feeling complete. All the best with your journey!
A beautiful read! Please check out some of mine I’d love some feedback from a pro