Are You More Of A Man Person?

"Are you more of a man person because you are married?"

This is a question I keep getting asked because I identify as Bisexual and am married to a heterosexual man.

I hate this question because it makes me feel like my orientation is being put into one category. It sounds like this,

"You must stop liking women because you are with a man."

Really?

So, because I chose to marry a man now mean that I am incapable of liking or even fancying other women?

Let us see another perspective:

Many men and women who have relationships are also attracted to other men and women. This attraction does not stop just because they are in a relationship.

We choose who we want to be in a relationship with, though we still look at others and think

"They are kind of hot!"

It doesn't mean we are going to jump into bed with that hot person we saw on the train, it simply means that we find them attractive.

Attraction is part of our human nature. We find clothes attractive, pets attractive, flowers attractive, and even pets can be attractive!

We also find other people attractive, whether we are taken or not.

I have been attracted to men and women for most of my young and adult life, only I didn't talk about it until later.

I have had sexual and emotional relationships that were deeply caring, loving, and satisfying with both.

My sexuality does not just switch off because I am married to a man. If it did then I would be worried, because I am sexually and emotionally attracted to both.

Switching off my sexuality would be like taking away my identity, and it's like telling a gay man not to like men anymore because a woman looked at him in a bar!

Let me tell you a true story...

In the 90s I made friends with a really great gay man. He was into men both sexually and intimately, although he also enjoyed putting up posters of women who he found to be attractive on the walls of his room.

Did this not make him gay anymore?

I don't think so.

He had a very steady and stable relationship with another brilliant man. They were always together, and very much in love with each other.

They were gay, but they did find certain aspects of women attractive.

I might be married now, but I still have a very strong sexual attraction to women.

I am not more of a 'man person' simply because I am married. I simply chose who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and my man is very aware of my sexuality which is something that I cannot change.

It is a part of me that makes me who I am; a sexually active woman who loves men and women.

I wouldn't be happy without it, because trying to rid myself of it is like trying to delete my person.

I don't choose to be more of a 'man person,' or more of a 'woman person.'

My sexual orientation is not a gamble or a competition. It is about human feelings and emotions.

We all have human feelings and emotions regardless of who we are.

It is about the freedom to love and feel what I feel, whether those feelings are for a man or a woman.

I wouldn't ask a heterosexual man to switch his feelings off for a woman, so please do not ask the LGBTQ community or myself to switch our feelings off.

We have the right to love and like who we want just as much as anyone else because love is human nature.

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