A Moment of Queer Representation That Changed My View

Each person has experienced a time where content whether in a story, film or other medium, arrests their attention and makes them open to a culture they have never fully comprehended. One of those moments in my life was when I saw queer people portrayed in a way that made me not only more inclusive to their struggles, but also to grasp the opportunities of thriving as an out queer person.

They occurred when viewing Moonlight, a film by Barry Jenkins who was inspired to win an Oscar to show the world Black queer boy’s coming of age story growing up in Miami’s ghetto. The movie is about male civility, frailty, and affection in equal measure. What it did for Chiron, and the portrayal of his life was subtle, yet powerful, and that was enough to change my perception of queer existence.

In the case of watching Moonlight before this, I had been in contact with experiences of the gay community through movies and television, but they didn’t feel so real. The stories I use that I learned, though valuable, were frequently apologist or otherwise portrayed in a manner that didn’t constantly reflect the experience of residing in a society that may actively dislike you. Moonlight was different. It was not about being gay but being queer in a world that wants to put you in a box, a box that seems especially small for a man of color.

Chiron’s is not immediately recognizable as a story of fabulous heroism, but rather of survival. What is important to say is that the film does not glorify his problems and does not tie them up in a perfect bow for the viewers. Instead, it suggests that one literally can watch with the queasily overtone, feel the oppressive silence of Chiron, suffer from the burden of his shame, and take the first unsure steps towards acceptance. Seeing him move through these different parts of his queer life made me understand how much queer representation is still flawed—how much stories focus only on one or two issues that queer people face because, again, race, poverty, and expectations.

What I was so impressed by is the movie is not providing clear solutions at the end. Chiron is not blessed with a happy ending by the end of the show. Instead, it offers something more profound: a brief insight into the director’s soul and male character who, despite being lost, is scared to look inside himself. This complexity enabled me to reason that queer identity is not a monolith. It can be complex, with opposing trends, and most of the time it is highly individual, influenced by cultural, racial, and socioeconomic factors that are not always considered.

To that understanding, I became more sympathetic. Moonlight forced me to understand that they fight is not only for one to be accepted by the society, but also for him to accept himself in the society that is cruel, careless or even outright hostile. Problems that Chiron had to go through in order to become a person who loves himself are intertwined with all the other issues that a poor, Black boy has to fight in the world where he is expected not to be weak-minded a sissy boy. They very clearly showed how perilous those are and how the mere process of living turns to necessity to render oneself virtually invisible for many queer folks.

It may not be summarized into a story of fairy-tale heroism; instead, it is the story of a survivor. What should be mentioned, however, is that it does not romanticise his problems and does not leave them out in a neat package for the audience. It only states that one can observe the situation with the queasily overtone, experience the despairing feeling of being in Chiron, wade through the wall of shame that this brilliant man carries on his shoulders and take the first difficult steps to accept. Watching him navigate these different aspects of his queer life helped me appreciate that queer content is still problematic—you only get one or two facets of queer life because, hello, race, poverty, expectations. What I were so impressed by is the movie is not telling us how to fix things at the end. In short, the happy ending does not befall Chiron at the end of the show. Instead, it offers something more profound: a short revelation of the director and the male protagonist who although is confused is afraid to open himself up. This complexity let me come to the conclusion of the fact that queer identity is diverse. It can be quite confusing, there ‘contradictory motions’ and quite often it is very specific and biographical; it can be marked by the cultural, racial and socioeconomic differences which may be ignored.

To that understanding, I shifted towards greater empathy. Moonlight made me realize that the they fight not only to be accepted by the society, but to accept him in the society that may be cruel, reckless or even frankly hostile. Difficulties which Chiron had to face on the way to become a person who loves himself are connected with all the other challenges that a poor, Black boy has to face in the world where he has no rights to be a weakling, a sissy boy. They very clearly explained how dangerous those are and how the mere process of living becomes a necessity to erase oneself almost entirely for many queer people.