A Message to my son

On your 20st birthday you came out to our family. You thought we would hate you, you thought we would kick you out, you thought you knew us. We didn't know how to deal with the anger you flung at us for months after. We loved you but we also hated you. We hated the anger that came off you in waves, we hated the stranger that lived in our house, we hated the loss of the person we knew. But we loved you.

Being a parent of you has been a joy, a struggle, work, extremely amazing, and rewarding. At a young age we knew something was different, but we have always tried to let you and your sister choose your path. Maybe this is why it took you to age 20 to see this in yourself. Maybe this is why you were so angry.

We have always tried to teach you the equality of all people. You grew up in a Christian home but not a narrow-minded home. You've told me you were not angry with us but the church. Maybe us teaching you everyone is a child of God no matter what and to accept everyone is why this anger manifested so much. Also, mainstream Christianity is so unaccepting, and you heard in church growing up how bad people like you were on Sundays. There are a lot of maybes

It has been 5 years and you have grown so much. We have grown so much as a family. We are so proud of who you. We see the boy we raised in the man before us. You and I have conversations and you answer my questions, so I understand. You laugh when I can never remember all the letters of LGBTQ. We talk about the different terms, and I tell you what it meant or was called when I was a teen. We're accepting of your friends and your life and always have been we just waited for you to let us in.

You and I went to a conference in Louisville, KY to do with your Major and I saw so many people just like you in a safe environment. I loved seeing so many young people being so open with who they were. I loved seeing the world you are in and the people who support you. I stopped and asked someone why they had a pink tag on their name tag, and he proudly and nicely answered me that it was his pronoun it said "he/him." As we walked away you said I was lucky I wasn't rudely rebuffed for my question. I understand where you are coming from, but I honestly wanted to know what the pink tag was. Was it something we didn't sign up for or something else? I don't know who this person was, but he nicely answered my question and for that I am grateful. I am a mom who wants to know so I can be supportive and encouraging to all people.

I am grateful you and your partner answer my questions and I am proud of both of you. Your dad and I are grateful for you and love to see your old smile and hear that deep chuckle you have when you find something hilarious. We see our son the one that was hidden while you figured things out the part of you that tells us your happy.

As you step into adulthood outside of college you will sadly see and experience hatred and cruelty. You've experienced some of this and I wish I could protect you, but I can't. Not everyone was raised as you were to love and accept but I hope your light shines to those around you and they see the person we see and love.

As a teen when you left for school every day, I would tell you and your sister remember who you are and make good choices. As an adult and you step into the world remember who you are you've worked hard to figure it out. You are amazing, unique, and awesome and it's taken a few years, but I feel you are on the right path. We love you and are proud of who you are!

Love,

Mom