A Lesson on Pride and Relationships

In a world where marriages and relationships are often tested, it’s easy to let pride, anger, or outside influence seep in and wreak havoc. Recently, I came across a story shared by Emeka Miky Oduije that deeply touched me. It’s the story of a divorced mother, now 32 years old, who opened up about the mistakes she made in her marriage, hoping her experience would encourage others to cherish and protect their relationships.

Her story begins like many others. She and her ex-husband were best friends. They dated for six years, during which time she waited for him to finish college and start his career. When their families finally met, it seemed like everything was falling into place. They got married and had a son together, who is now seven years old. Life seemed good on the surface, but underneath it all, issues were brewing.

Her husband, like many, had his flaws. He was short-tempered at times, but nothing too extreme. However, things began to change when she felt the need to assert herself in the marriage. She started to feel like he was trying to control her, and her response was to show him that he couldn’t. What began as minor disagreements escalated into a pattern of behaviour that, in hindsight, she now regrets.

Whenever they argued, instead of working through their issues, she would pack her bags and leave for her family’s house. Once there, she would share all the details of their fights with her family. Her sisters, protective of her, would often call her husband and lash out at him on her behalf. They didn’t understand that by doing so, they were adding fuel to the fire instead of helping resolve the situation.

She recalls daring him to divorce her during their arguments, even though deep down, that was the last thing she wanted. It wasn’t the desire for a divorce that drove her—it was pride. She didn’t want to appear weak or submissive, even though her actions were eroding the foundation of their relationship.

One fateful day, things took a turn for the worse. In a heated argument, she pushed him so hard emotionally that he snapped and, for the first time, struck her. She left the house again, this time going straight to her family. Furious and protective, they took him to the police. To the outside world, it looked like a clear case of abuse. However, she now admits that she had been emotionally abusing her husband long before that moment. His violence, though wrong, was a response to being pushed to his breaking point.

Her husband apologized, begging for forgiveness and acknowledging his mistake. Despite this, they reconciled. But, just three months later, another minor argument led her to pack her bags once more. She left, not realizing how much damage she was doing to her marriage by continually walking away.

Days later, she received news that her husband had been hospitalized. Yet, her family, still harbouring resentment toward him, advised her not to visit him. They convinced her that he was faking his illness to win her back. Sadly, she listened to them.

Not long after that, she received divorce papers. Her pride still wouldn’t let her reach out to him. Instead, she decided to play hardball. When they went to court, she demanded that his property be divided and given to her. To her shock, her husband didn’t contest it. He offered her everything they had acquired together. All he wanted was a divorce.

Their marriage officially ended in July 2009. Today, her ex-husband is remarried and has moved on with his life. She, on the other hand, is left with a deep sense of regret. She relies on the child support her ex sends for their son’s upkeep, and her family, who once supported her decisions, now gossips about her behind her back.

She shared her story because she doesn’t want others to make the same mistakes. She acknowledges that her pride and the influence of her family played a huge role in the breakdown of her marriage. Looking back, she realizes that instead of seeking outside validation and allowing others to interfere in her relationship, she should have worked harder to resolve the issues within her marriage.

Her advice to wives—and anyone in a committed relationship—is to be cautious of who you allow into your personal life. Sometimes, the problem isn’t your partner—it’s your pride or the influence of others around you. External opinions, especially from family, can often make things worse instead of better.

Her story serves as a powerful reminder that relationships require humility, patience, and a willingness to work through challenges together. Pride, if unchecked, can destroy even the strongest of bonds. For anyone facing difficulties in their relationship, her message is simple: be wise, be vigilant, and don’t let outside voices lead you down the wrong path.

Credit to Emeka Miky Oduije for sharing this eye-opening message. Let’s learn from it and cherish the relationships we have.