Your pain and I

And when the world crumbled

When the party was dawned

When the sirens were dusted

You came home with nothing but a shattered jaw,

Dragged your hollow soul

Into a shelter with nothing but your broken bones.

And where was I in this hazy mess

On Sunday mornings with frizzy hair

With makeup remover scattering fest.

Where was I in your tewnty something flair

Felt astonishingly low in your everyday affair.

You lived a life only after dark

I wondered if it was me, your little shark

Consumed you from within,

Left your early days with something less than a glittering spark.

Every night they told me a fairy tale

Of a well rounded mother who came home

‘Not in this broken tome’,

For our little life was just a room

With two windows, one bed, and the dreary gloom.

He fled you the way they all did.

In a frenzy trice you screamed for his succour

Yet darling, he slammed the door and bolted.

You can’t anchor a craft that is set to eternally coast.

But

I knew it was pain.

It was never easy.

So I created a pattern,

Of a toxic existence,

Moulded from your same old tainted dream.

I knew it was pain.

But mum it was never ok,

To sabotage your happy ending, and my beginning too.

I knew it was pain.

So mum, today your pain forgives you.

But mum, you created a pattern,

Of a young suffering soul.

Whom one day will be crippling

With pain and dragging her heels

Onto your sorrowful all-time low.